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Aug19
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 10:46 am

New here

Post by Aug19 »

Hi I’m new here and 2 years ago I had an eptopic pregnancy I was up and down from the hospital every other day mainly on my own for expectant management until one day I got there dropped in severe pain and wash rushed to surgery and had my left tube removed I stayed one night given leaflets and they said bye 👋 and haven’t had anything since have been struggling coming to terms with it and keep asking the ‘what if’ and blaming myself it still feels like there is something missing especially around the Holidays like Christmas etc I even have dreams about a child and wake up crying I know this is not really a question but can anyone relate to this x

EPT Host 20
Posts: 2363
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: New here

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Aug,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss, and yes, I can honestly relate to this.
Thank you so much for having the courage to talk about how you feel and contacting the Trust. I too suffered in silence following my ectopic pregnancy. It took me two years to be honest and face my feelings and like you, I reached out to the Trust. I found comfort in reading other people's posts. People understood how I felt and I didn't feel so alone. I was also advised that although my feelings, like yours were completely normal, hanging onto those feelings does not help us recover. I went for counselling as advised, and in time learnt that we will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and I will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
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Aug19
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 10:46 am

Re: New here

Post by Aug19 »

Thanks so much for getting back to me I’m sorry about you going thru it to but it seems to help reading others as it’s not just me I’m not ‘weird’ like some people say when they say you should of got over that already it’s been ages and it’s not as if the baby was planned and hearing you already have children it shouldn’t bother you this much it’s not like you got to meet ‘it’ honestly comments like this has made me keep it all in and feel like nobody cares Because to them it wasn’t real x

Joannamcewan1
Posts: 8
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2021 9:53 am

Re: New here

Post by Joannamcewan1 »

Yes!! I frequently dream about a baby.
Mine was in February and I am only just seeking help on this forum, today.

Hearing everyone's experiences almost validates mine. As so many people repsonded to me saying they had a miscarriage, their partner did. But ectopic and surgery isn't that is it.

Aug19
Posts: 7
Joined: Mon Aug 23, 2021 10:46 am

Re: New here

Post by Aug19 »

I’m sorry you have had to go through this to I hope you have lots of support But no your right It’s not although I do also feel for those who have had a miscarriage. The dreams make me feel awful there is nothing wrong with the dream itself it’s not a nightmare but waking up back to reality and realising it’s all a dream is the hard bit trying to keep it together for everyone else when it feels like there is something missing in your life is hard and I hope things get better for you thanks for replying this forum does help because it makes you feel less alone especially when there is so many that’s been thru the same things sending good luck to you x

Samali
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Feb 24, 2021 1:43 pm

Re: New here

Post by Samali »

Hi you are not alone I have had 3 ectopic pregnancy’s and have had to have emergency surgency for them all it was couple of years ago and in still struggling with it every single day

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