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Work is already upset because in August I lost my Grandmother. Then I came back and had to be off for pneumonia. And now this. I know I am not ready to return, and I didn't tell work what happened. They were the ones that took me to the ER because I was found on the floor in pain. All they know is that I had emergency surgery and needed blood transfusions.
I wasn't ready to admit the ectopic Pregnancy/miscarriage thing to them. I don't know the HR person that well, or my coworkers so I just don't want to deal with fake pity. I didn't want to tell someone that I barely knew about something that seems so personal to me. When my husband and I have been trying for 2 years to get pregnant. They don't know that. Ugh!
I am scared I will hurt myself even more by going into work. As it's a lot of turning and lifting. Along with just before I went in I was just starting treatment for another asthma flare, and I have to hold back on those meds till my immune system is up again. As the meds will make it easy to get infections and stuff, also won't help with the healing process. Ugh!
I am a mess with health asthma issues. I feel guilty for losing the baby because of my asthma. My husband doesn't think so. He's standing by me and doesn't want me to go back to work before I see the doctor. But, I am too afraid of losing my job. I am terrible at interviews. I shy up really bad so I am amazed I got this job. I had someone vouch for me, and I have proved myself over and over again. I am great at cashiering, and customer service I just can't get passed interviews.
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss, but I am sorry but I agree with your doctor and partner that it is too soon to be going back to work. I would speak to your GP about an extension on your sick note. Going back to work before you are ready, will only mean that the recovery process is much longer and in the end you will be less able to work for a lot longer.
If you do not want to speak to work about the ectopic pregnancy, you can just say that You have had abdominal surgery and you are not physically for enough to return to work yet.
This is information I give to women post surgery, so I thought I'd share with you in case it helps
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
I would also like to add that your asthma has nothing to do with your ectopic pregnancy. I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame.
Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.
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I hope you can get a letter from your doctor which they can't argue with. I am not sure what country you are in but assuming UK, they shouldn't be able to force you to come back if you have a note and shouldn't be able to fire you based on this either?!
I also struggled with what to tell my work and didn't reveal anything, luckily they were really good about it so I wasn't under pressure to provide more info. If your work saw you had to go to emergency surgery I can't believe they are being so unreasonable now!
You could tell a not-exactly-lie like you had a mass that needed removing, or non-malignant but risky tumour near a vessel, not strictly true but I think it's an acceptable thing to say if you want to give more detail but don't want to get into the emotional aspects of the ectopic. But you shouldn't have to say anything like that if they already know you had surgery!!
I'm so sorry, I hope you can get it sorted.
P.S. I used to also be really bad at job interviews with bad anxiety but I found a lot of good resources online, got tips from friends and practised practised practised and it became much easier! it was so hard but worth it.
Anyways, manager said with a doctors note I can be out more then the 14 days. And since I have stitches that need to be removed they will take me off the schedule till I see the doctor.
Ugh! Dealing with work is stressful. As I do not think I am ready to go back. I pushed myself yesterday and now I am stick in bed in pain today. Ugh! (I wanted to surprise my husband with supper since he had a hard day. He's been super supportive of me through all my health issues.)
Thank you, for you're advise.