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How these forums can help you to heal

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rosi3f
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jun 16, 2021 1:13 pm

Re: How these forums can help you to heal

Post by rosi3f »

Hi,
I had a pregnancy of unknown location at 7 weeks, they said it was very likely ectopic in my left tube (as i was in alot of pain on that side). Had the methotrexate injection and i thought i would be relieved to get the phone call that my blood bHCG levels were below 1 (normal) so I wasn’t having to go into hospital every 2-3 days but I don’t know what to do with myself now. I am so heartbroken and upset. It sounds so stupid i suppose but part of me was always hoping they’d got it wrong and I’d wake up to it all being ok… until i got that phonecall which just confirmed that if i peed on the stick that it would say ‘not pregnant’ 😭
my partner has been amazing but he already has a daughter from a previous relationship and I’ve been looking after her with him whilst feeling low like this and it’s horrid to say but seeing them playing and seeing what an amazing dad he is just makes me more frustrated at the world. I don’t know at what point i need to speak to someone about my low moods - can anyone help with this? Did they benefit from speaking to a doctor or councillor?

I have nightmares and flashbacks to the bleeding and pain. There is afew things i wont do now because the last time i did them I was pregnant and i am holding onto that. (unhealthy i know but I feel like I’m drowning)
Any help for anything is greatly appreciated!
And i am so so sorry for everyone who is experiencing or has experienced this loss ❤️

Millymm
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Aug 18, 2022 10:29 pm

Re: How these forums can help you to heal

Post by Millymm »

Hi all
I had laproscopic ectopic surgery 8 weeks ago.
I started bleeding 19th May, a week later my work colleague suggested I could be having a miscarriage as I was still bleeding quite heavy and started having pain, I took a test which was positive. The next day I felt I passed something. As I didn't know I was pregnant I stupidly assumed I wasn't that far along and waited for it to resolve itself. However I was still bleeding and getting pain 2 weeks later. I called my gp who suggested going to A&E. I was eventually sent to EPU who suspected ectopic so kept me in until I could have a scan the next day. The pain was always there but wasn't always that bad. They couldn't see anything but swelling and fluid. The registrar came to see me and kept saying 'oh so it's all settled then?' I said no multiple times but kept saying settled. They wanted to do another blood test to be sure. That HCG had increased. They said it could just be an anomaly and will just do another test in 2 days time, this had gone down a sufficient amount and said it was a resolving miscarriage. I questioned even though I was still bleeding and had pain. Had been bleeding for almost 4 weeks a that point. A week later the bleeding had increased a lot and was fresh and the pain had got a lot worse. I called EPU directly who got me in for a scan later that day. This time a consultant assessed me and scanned me who straight away see it and explained there was a lot of blood in my pelvis. Luckily they got me in to surgery that evening and luckily they didn't have to do a full laparotomy, which now I understand was lucky considering what had happened. Unfortunately they were unable to save the tube.
I've also been dealing with my dad being told he was terminal in the same week.
I went back to work as a nurse 2.5 weeks later.
I don't think I let myself feel it as the run up to it was so long and drawn out. After being told you were fine to then being rushed in and bleeding internally let alone everything else going on, it ended up hitting me at once a few weeks later.
I was physically better and that seemed to be the only concern.
After pushing myself and working 50+ hours, there was an incident at work and I broke down.
The pregnancy wasn't planned but my husband and I were just settling in to our new house and were planning on trying soon, so would have been happy about it. I was bleeding for so long and in pain for weeks to be told your fine, it was exhausting and a constant reminder.
I know this is long and no one will probably read it. I feel like I should be over everything by now but I just keep going over everything.
Anyways, thanks all, look after each other xx

Aoifemartin97
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2022 9:48 pm

Re: How these forums can help you to heal

Post by Aoifemartin97 »

My name is Aoife and 2 weeks ago I had a labroscopic ectopic pregnancy surgery. I lost my
7 week old baby. The pregnancy wasn’t planned but from the moment we saw the positive test we were so excited and determined to love our little baby and be the happiest family. I’ve had such amazing support. Despite that I am hesrtbroken. I resent every pregnancy announcement and get so emotional around children or if someone even hugs me for too long. Im petrified for the future. I am so sorry to all of the women who have gone through this too. I hope we all one day get the chance to hold our little baby in our arms and make all of this pain and suffering completely worth it. Until then, I plan to be good to myself, go to therapy, eat well, socialise and just take rach day as it comes.

Please take time to process youe grief xx

piggycz
Posts: 10
Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2023 4:10 am

Re: How these forums can help you to heal

Post by piggycz »

Hi Annie,

Its been a long time since you posted this, its 2023 and I’m going through something similar. Chemical July21, Chemical Dec21, DNC May22, Ectopic Jan23. Luckily it was caught early and am getting mtx. I hope that things have turned out better for you and now I’m looking for advice. I’m definitely terrified, and starting to feel depressed. Its so hard to talk to people about this.

Advice and hope from anyone here would be appreciated.

XO
Annie12+ wrote:
Fri Sep 18, 2015 4:40 pm
Hi,
I'm new to this so please forgive me if I ask silly questions or go on a bit... :lol:
I need some positive thoughts back in my life. I've had 4 pregnancies in the last 16 months none of which have been successful, my last one was only 6 weeks ago which turned out to be Ectpoic. I went in for an early scan and myself and my husband were told the bad news. I was kept in hospital to go for surgery to remove the pregnancy and they also had to remove my right tube as well.
6 weeks on and I'm now feeling lower than ever.... I'm hoping someone can relate to this and advise me on what to do. I'm so scared that I'm going to have another pregnancy fail again. We both really want a family to love and share our lives with.
Thanks xx

Crlarissa23
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Aug 24, 2023 8:02 am

Re: How these forums can help you to heal

Post by Crlarissa23 »

Hello I’m hoping putting my story on here can help me somehow.It’s only been 6 days since i had to have my surgery and im not coping well at all…i made it to were i was 10 weeks 5 days pregnant before the doctors announced that they think i am pregnant with a cervical ectopic pregnancy (apparently extremely rare) i had to go to UVA to verify…at 11 week on the dot i was admitted to UVA to try to stop my hormones and the pregnancy from progressing by administering methotrexate…It didn’t work my hcg kept doubling so by the time i was 11 weeks 5 days i had to undergo a artery surgery to stop blood flow to my uterus and cervix and then straight to another unit to do a D&C….They did both removed everything but during the D&C i saw everything i saw the sac the tiny tiny fetus and everything i broke down crying hysterically and now i barely sleep more then two hours a night all i can do is seem to see flashbacks and cry about what i have lost….i am 39 years old this was basically my last chance at a baby i got pregnant 3 years ago and miscarried and now this so i know I don’t even have the strength to try again im just not brave enough for another bad outcome….please if anyone has any suggestions to help ease any of the thoughts or pain im all ears thanks

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