By registering on our forum, you can view and contribute to more topics on ectopic pregnancy. Your details are confidential and we do not send unsolicited emails. For your confidentiality, you can choose your own forum name to protect your anonymity if you so wish. If you register, there is no obligation to post; you can simply take comfort from the words of others. It is entirely up to you whether you post a message or read others' experiences or do both.

Heart is broken...

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
Post Reply
princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hi Nicola, Its nice to talk to u too n I'm glad if I can be of aby help to u. It's just so sad for the reasons we have in common.

I'm glad to hear ur hubby n family n friends are being supportive to u ;) It is terribly sad the reasons they have been here for u this year... but don't feel bad coz they are here for u cause they love u. You can't do this all on ur own n u would do the same for them.

You have been through too much heartache but things will gradually get better n u will heal.

Im sorry to hear about ur mums friend suffering too n I'm glad u have each other for support. It is easier to relate to people who have suffered the same or similar circumstances.

I can't wait to the day I hear good news from u cause I know that day will come.

I like ur theory re getting back on a bike is a good example. If u leave it too long it would b too scary to try again. Just don't ttc before u are ready to.

I just hope u continue to rest n lean on people for support n let urself gradually heal... cause u will heal a bit more each day.

Il be thinking of u tomorrow n pray ul be ok.
I'm always here for u. I'm sending u strength n positive thoughts n prayers n hugs.. u will be ok in time I promise.

Wen the time is right u will be holding ur own rainbow miracle baby cause that's what u deserve n that is what will happen.

X x x

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Kate I am really sorry to hear about ur losses n I hope u have got support from ur partner n ur family n friends.

Good luck for Tuesday.

I'm sending you healing vibes n positive thoughts n prayers n hugs.

Princess Pink x x x

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

Hope today goes as well as it can Nicola, will be thinking of you. X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Thanks both.

All done at the hospital - they are happy things are progressing naturally and have said that I just need to take a test in 2 weeks if it's negative then great - If not I need to go back for a follow up scan and have any remaining tissue removed - I guess similar to what you have to do tomorrow Kate? They have given me a referral to a clinic in the hospital who will run some basic blood tests and have said said next time I can have scans every 2 weeks from 6-12 weeks. I have only be men offered this as they said my eptopic was PUL as they couldn't locate it so they have said it could have been a miscarriage last time. I think they know it wasn't but it's a way around the protocol and means I can get into this clinic. They said that should come through in the next 3-5 weeks so worth going and checking. I'm feeling drained today - hoping this is over soon and the test comes back negative - 2 weeks seems ages to wait. Kate - hope all goes ok tomorrow and you don't need any further follow up. Nicola xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

Glad all went well and things are happening naturally, yes got to test tomorrow and ensure test is negative, which I'm hoping it will be as had sac removed via evacuation of the womb as mine wouldn't start naturally, had no bleeding, no pain or anything so they had to remove it surgically under a local anaesthetic, but I suppose a piece of tissue can always be missed!

Good you have a referral to clinic, after my surgical procedure I said I was worried as this is my second loss in 4 months, my first was also a PUL however as this was a miscarriage, they don't class this a second loss, it's kind of 'one all' loss wise, which is how they put it. I said did I need tests etc, they said no because it's 2 different losses and just bad luck.

Think I'll see my GP once again at some point to see if they'll run some blood tests, I'm not sure if they do that but worth an ask I suppose!

Time for you to rest up and relax, it's very draining! X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Let me know how you get on tomorrow - I have my fingers crossed. You would hope a surgical procedure removed it all. I've not bleed anywhere near as much as I did with the eptopic but this is different so just got to do as they suggest and hopefully the majority has already happened.

I'm guessing you haven't had your next period yet? Hoping mine doesn't take to long to reappear.

I think I got lucky with the nurse I saw for this referral as she did say it's usually 3 consecutive miscarriages. I have to go to my Gp for them to do the referral so hopefully they won't say no - I think it's worth visiting yours and asking. If they do say no at least you tried. I just think I've been unlucky and I don't think there's a major issue but I'm just so worried about it happening again that I'll have whatever tests I'm offered.

I am actually going to need shares in pregnancy tests and pregnancy vitamins as I am spending a fortune! Xx

Butterfly1
Posts: 115
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 5:13 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Butterfly1 »

Thinking of you both at this difficult time xxx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

No, period has not returned yet. Will be 3 weeks this Thursday since having procedure, told me can be 4-6 weeks after surgery for period to return, so time to sit tight again!

I know, will be so weird taking a test when i'm no longer pregnant, if that makes any sense, feels wrong buying one when it's all over, oh well, just got to get on with it!

Feels strange though as after 2 losses I'm not so hung up on TTC anymore, just going to go with the flow as no point getting hung up on It anymore as it doesn't work out anyway!

Just going to continue with the vitamins and see what happens!

Hope you're ok, lots of love. X x

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

P.s. thanks princess pink, must have missed your reply in amongst all of my rambling! Luckily my husband has been an absolute rock, so lucky to have him! X x

Butterfly, hope you and little bean are doing ok. X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

I completely agree with you Kate - I just think it happens when it happens and I'm not even going to think about it. When I do find out I'm pregnant I'm not working out when I'm due or anything I'm just going to take it a day at a time. You can't plan how these things turn out so no point trying to plan getting pregnant. My body does as it wants. Keep me posted tomorrow. Will be thinking of you.

Thanks Butterfly1. I hope you're ok and not feeling too rough? Have you had your date through for your 12 week scan? Will be hoping all goes well for you then you can tell everyone your exciting news.

Nicola xxx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Nicola I'm glad u got thru today n the hosp say its all progressing naturally for u. I know it must of been horrible for u but this will soon b over n u can start to heal... Just try to rest up n take ur time to heal.

I know it's not nice having to take a preg test in 2 wks... I remember having to do that after both my preg losses n it was a relief to see it come back as negative.

My first preg loss was miscarriage n I haf the d &c opp to remove any remains but my second one was PUL coz they didn't know if it was ectopic or miscarriage even though there was something seen nxt to my ovary on the scan n all the symptoms I had including shoulder tip pain. It is confusing wen they can't say for def what it is.

I was told though that they don't usually think there's something wrong with u until uv had 3 miscarriages or ectopic pregs in a row. So. Wasn't offered any tests.

I hope ur test will come back as negative in 2 wks for u so u can start to try to heal emotionally n mentally.

Its good that you are guna get extra tests done at ur hosp n that in the future they will give u extra scans to put ur mind at ease.

I hope u are ok n can gradually feel better n heal... I agree with Kate that a break away would be good for u.

Sending u hugs.

Princess Pink x x

Kate ur welcome ;) I'm glad u have a supportive hubby n I really hope tomo goes ok for u....I'm truly sorry for the pain ur suffering n hope ur guna be ok n think it's def a good idea to take a break n not ttc again til ur ready n to try not get obsessed about the whole thing.... coz after I had two preg losses thats what I did n I think its why id get really down every month wen id get my period n why it took as long as 7 months for it to for me to convieve a 3rd time. I truly believe wen the times right it will happen for u too.
Thinking of u tomo n sending u positive vibes n prayers n hugs.

Princess Pink x x

Butterfly1 I wish u well in ur preg n hope ur 12 wk scan goes well wen u have it.

Princess Pink x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Thanks princess pink.

I can't believe I'm saying this but I hope the test in 3 weeks is negative otherwise i have to have the D&C and it's just prolonging the agony. It's my birthday on Saturday so it all feels quite sad as I wanted to be telling people this week as I would have been 11 weeks, but obviously the universe had other plans. We have been told to wait until my next period and then we can try again if we are ready and we will just let it happen when it does. I can't be bothered to see when I am ovulating etc and I know as soon as I have that positive tests I'll feel so happy but so so scared at the same time - you have given me hope though:

If you don't mind me asking how far along were you when you had your miscarriage? Do you remember how long it took for your period to return? Sorry with all the questions.

I'm away in London this weekend so looking forward to the break and trying to enjoy my birthday weekend. Xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Ur welcome Nicola, of course u want ur next pregnancy test to come back negative coz then u can't start to move on....
Of course u don't want to have the d & c. I had it 2 days after my miscarriage was revealed at my scan & then it was 2 weeks after that I had to do a pregnancy test to get a negative result.

Oh I understand this is such bad timing for u having ur birthday as I know how things could have been so different for u now n I'm truly so sorry for u for how how things are n the unfairness of all u have been through.

It's good uv been told u can ttc again after uv had 1 period... I was told to wait for 2 periods both times before ttc again n I remember me n my bf taking a risk after 1period but I think I was glad i didn't get pregnant then as I needed a bit more time mentally n emotionlly before getting pregnant again.

Uv had 2 pregs close together like I did as I lost both my babies in the space of 5 months... so its prob good it took me 7 months before getting pregnant a 3rd time to give my body a break.

Ur very sensible to not be tracking ur ovulation next time u ttc.. it does all just get to u so uts good if u can just try n let it happen naturally.

Of course ul be scared wen u do concieve again. .. I was the same. I got booked in through my epu for a scan at 6 wks & 2 days and I just kept praying n trying to believe all would be well n I remember doing positive affirnations & taking Pregnacare which contains all the folic acid u need & I quit smoking n drinking straight away. I cut down on caffeine n tried to eat as healthy as I could. Most of all I prayed n told myself I wasn't in control of the situation & my sister kept telling me I would get my 3rd time lucky rainbow baby. So I tried to believe it too.

We can't control what the universe has instore for us but we can try to pray n believe.

I pray for u to get a healthy 3rd time preg but for now just to concentrate on healing.

I hope ur able to enjoy ur birthday weekend as much as u can. I think it's good ur getting away for ur birthday at the weekend.

It's fine Nicola u can ask me anything. .. I was 10 wks preg wen I began spotting n getting cramps & it went on for 6 days until I was given an early scan wen I was 10 wks & 6 days preg and that's wen they told me my baby had stopped growing about 3 wks ago. Do my baby died at about 7+6 (so almost 8 wks preg) and my miscarriage was confirmed at 10+6 (so almost 11wks).

I'm not sure wen I got my first period after this, I think it was 4 wks. Then my 2nd period I was 8 days late n convinced I was preg again but I was just late n got a heavier n more painful late period on Xmas day... was hard coz my bf 2 month preg niece was stayou for xmas n there's me hoping n thinking I was preg.

After my PUL, ectopic or miscarriage my period came 4 wks later after it was diagnosed n I remember. I would get periods that would be more painful n last up to 9 days which carried on until I got preg this 3rd time. My period use to always be 5/6 days n 9 days was draining but just be prepared for ur period to be heavier or lighter m longer or shorter after losses which I went to the docs about n they said it was what can happen after losses so there was nowt wrong with me... n I still managed to get healthy preg now. So u can too.

Anything else u want to ask me feel free to. Im always here for u n glad if my experience can give u hope.

I believe ul get ur rainbow baby just like I did but in mean time just try take it one step at a time n spend quality time with ur hubby. X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Thank you Princess Pink.

When I was at my appointment yesterday they did say to me there can be a connection with the brain and the body when you know it's a miscarriage and then you start bleeding. I was told last Wednesday evening and by Friday I was bleeding - it's so strange that these things happen. I am glad I booked that scan in - if I had waited until my 12 week scan that would have been awful. The EPU said they would cancel my 12 week scan and my midwife appointment so I didn't have to.

I am going to continue taking my pregnancy vitamins and eat well, exercise and only have drink in moderation. It will be nice to have a glass of champagne or two on my birthday. I won't go crazy - I want to keep myself healthy for next time. :D

What is or due date btw? If can't be long now. I'll want to know all the gory details about labour so I can be prepared for when it's my turn :D

They did say to me that my period might be quite painful next time - my first one after the PUL was horrible so I'm fully prepared. At least once it's happened we can be trying again even if it takes a while I don't mind as I want it to be natural.
Xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hey Nicola ;)

Really they said that to u... u know what that does make sense about a connection between the brain n the body. Because wen I was told my baby had died at my scan... I was booked in for the d & c two days later but the following day which was the night before I was booked in for my d & c I woke up to agony n I started miscarring on my own n was loosing so much blood n passing blood clots and then went on for about 5 hrs... so wen I went to the hospital for my d & c at 7am the surgeon said coz I was miscarring naturally, that he may have to call of the d & c. But thank god he still did the opp to get rid of the remains, coz I was in agony n after I had the opp the agony n bleeding stopped.

Its mad what our brains can do.

Yeah its def better u had a scan before ur 12 wks scan.

I remember my scan at my miscarriage was the week before my 12 wks scan n I asked my work to let me cancel the holiday day I had booked coz I wanted to keep busy so I ciuu try not to think about it as mu as poss. . It is so sad as u just take for grantage ul get yr 12 wk scan wen u haven't been preg before.

It's good the epu are cancelling ur appointments.. coz u should not have to do it urself.

I think the hosp cancelled my appointments too but do u know what I remember in may 15 when my first baby would of been born that just after my would of been due date I had a voice mail from the hospital for a nurse ir midwife saying how she knows I was due my baby around then n she wanted to know if I was ok n if I had gone somewhere else to have my baby... she'd asked me to ring her bak. Which I never did but it threw me n I couldn't believe she hadn't checked her records about my miscarriage whiu was diagnosed at the same hospital.
I know it was obvs s mistake but it did upset me n even more so coz it was 2 months after I'd lost my second baby.

It's good u are guna look after urself n eat n exercise well n take vitamins.

Yea drinking in moderation is fine.

That is what I did n I left it a while before I had a drink coz I was scared of getting drunk n too emotional.

I had wanted to quit smoking as I did during preg but I was so stressed I started smoking again n then I quit the nite before I tested for my preg now as I jus had a feeling I was preg n I ea 5 days late n thrown up twice that week. So I haven't smoked since Jan 23rd the night before I tested positive.

Of course though have some drinks on ur birthday n try to relax n enjoy urself as much as u can.

My due date for my baby is October 1st
. So iv got 2 weeks & 4 days until im due.

Of course I can tell u how my labour etc goes... I just don't want to go into too much detail if it's going to upset u which is understandable. .. but il tell u anything u want to know. .. coz yes it will prepare u for when ul be going through labour urself ;)

Yea its best to ne prepared about ur next periods... but ur right once u have that u know u are on ur way to ttc again naturally wen u are ready to.

I remember when I was ttc for 3rd time last year from May 15, and over xmas n my birthday which is at Xmas feeling low not being preg n little did I know that I would get my 3rd time lucky pregnancy which was dated back to December 26th... even thou I did find out til January 24th 16.

I can't wait til the day u have good news to share with me ;)

I'm here to support bu through ur hard times n good news which will definitely happen for u. X x

Butterfly1
Posts: 115
Joined: Thu Jun 02, 2016 5:13 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Butterfly1 »

Thank you Kate, Nicola and Princess Pink.

Nicola, my scan is 19/10/16 and to say I am terrified is an understatement.

Princess Pink good luck for your labour and delivery and I look forward to reading about your baby's safe arrival.

Kate, I hope today went as well as it could.

Thinking of you all. Please take care xx

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Thanks princess pink.

Wow 1st October - that's not long at all. Did you have symptoms with this one early in? I didn't have any symptoms this last time so that was one of my reasons for worrying.

I'm back on my pregnancy vitamins and just trying to eat well. We have decided we will try after my period and see when it happens. My body will only allow me to become pregnant when it's ready surely? And It might take 1 month or it might take 10 - I will just accept whichever it is. Be nice to found out around Christmas though - a mini Xmas present but I'm not going to the test until I am a week late as I guess my periods will be hit and miss to start with.

I can't believe the hospital called you to check up on you - that's so insensitive. Especially as that's where you had been all along. I have a doctors appointment on Friday for my referral for the blood tests so I'll let you know how I get on.

Nicola xx

numb81
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2016 12:14 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by numb81 »

Hi Nicola

Your situation is v similar to mine but the other way around.
I just posted- see "support please" message on forum

How're you doing currently?
I just feel so angry and I know the pain/sadness will hit me when I go home :( XX

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi numb81.

I have replied on your messsage. Thinking of you xx

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Butterfly1 - please let us know how you get on at your 12 week scan - I will be thinking of you xx

Post Reply