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Heart is broken...

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princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hey Nicola, I know October 1st is very soon. I have been expecting my baby will come early... but I realise mayb I'm partly thinking this coz of my spd pelvic pain is painful n I realise I can't just stayhom expecting to go Into labour everyday before I'm due.

So iv come to stay with my twin sis n her kids for a couple of days n especially as my twin sis eldest son is 18 n moving to uni on Sunday so I wanted to spend some time with him before he leaves hom.

With my current preg yea I had symptoms. .. I remember throwing up twice the week before I tested. .. I waited till I was 5 days late before I tested... coz I'd already been 3 days late before this n tested negative so I decided to wait till I was 5 days late before testing. Also I remember feeling really tired n a bit faint sometimes the week before I tested while I had my friend staying with me for the week.

I had tried to get bak into fitnesd before I knew I was preg by going for power walks... After I tested positive I was about 4+5 preg n I continued to do my power walks n I remember getting sharp pains on my left side if my groin. .. The pain was coming from the side where the hospital had found something nxt to my ovary... so was on my suspected ectopic side.

So of course I worried something was wrong n I stopped going for power walks n I took.it easy at work n then wen I did get my 6+2 scan I feared maybe something was wrong but I was relieved all was well with my baby.

It's really good ur taking pregnancy vitamins n trying to eat well.

Ok its good ur waiting for ur period before ttc again... if that us how long ur hospital recommended u waited.

Ur rite ur body will get preg again when ots meant to happen....just try not to get too disappointed if ut doesn't happen straight away. I know it's easier said than done but it could take a little while before u get preg again so try to be prepared for that...

Yeah if u can it's good if u can wait a week before testing wen u think ur preg, cause ur periods could get messed up after what u have been through....

Yea get what u mean. ....Cause I started ttc again last year in May n even though I was sad it didn't happen straight away for me I remember thinking how I'd love to be preg for Xmas time n my birthday but I just kept getting my period n got my period on actual boxing day.... but then wen I tested positive in Jan....my preg was back dated to boxing day n I realized it was also positive for me to now be pregnant for the 3rd time lucky ( I hoped) in January 2016... like it was a new yrs present like a new beginning.

Yeah I know I ccouldn't believe the hospital rang me to see if I had had my baby after I had then had 2 preg. Losses at their hosp. Ud think it would of been on their records some where.

Oh have u... good luck with ur doctor appointment on Friday n hope it goes well. X x

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Happy Birthday Nicola :) I hope u have a lovely day x x & u enjoy a few drinks with loved ones n u get spoilt loads :)

Lotsa love Princess Pink ( Toni) x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Ahhh thanks Toni :D

I've just got back from a lovely weekend away and it's really taken my mind off everything and I managed to enjoy my birthday and have a glass of fizz too which was nice. I'm feeling much better and so much more positive about the future. I saw the doctor on Friday who is referring me for some basic blood tests at the hospital which is good. How are you doing?

Nicola xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Nicola I'm pleased u were able to enjoy ur birthday weekend away ;) It sounds like it has done u some good.

I am pleased u enjoyed u birthday n that u feel more positive about ur future. U should be proud of urself as I know it's not easy to feel positive after all uv been through. I think sometimes a distraction n change of scenery is what u need.

It's good u are getting refered for blood tests. I hope it helps u.

I'm doing ok thanks. Was nice to spend some time at my twin sister's hse for couple of days n say bye to my 18 yr please nephew who has moved away to uni... it was emotional coz I won't see him till Xmas holidays now. But im so proud of him.. hes so talented in Art n drawing n animations is what he's doing at uni.

It was nice that my friend since school days came to visit me on Saturday, I haven't seen her for 10 yrs so it was nice to catch up with her.

Im ok though just finding it bit hard to walk n get things done coz of spd I have n coz iv hurt my back so I'm limping to get about. I think I over did it with cleaning n tidying n washing today but the more I'm at home alot the more ocd I get with hse work etc.

I hope ur ok.. n that ur still taking things easy. X x

TaviaMcNeil
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Sep 20, 2016 12:47 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by TaviaMcNeil »

Ok.. I see light in your situation.. I experienced 2 ectopic pregnancies as well and I know how you feel.. yes its sad , I have no children yet I'm 25 years old and want some someday.. it's not even the having children part that is hurting me it's , knowing if I can even get pregnant and carry a child is what's bothering me.. Ok as for you ok, first u had an ectopic pregnancy. That's when your pregnant in your tube, that's when the baby didn't even reach your uterus yet. But God let you be pregnant AGAIN even after that horrible experience , he showed you that the baby can be in your uterus and you CAN carry a child. Something I never experienced yet. So thank God right there!! Now far as you losing this child, is sad , depressing and you probably felt like why me?? But sweetheart it's just now your time right now. He will bless your womb, !! I know woman that had 5 miscarriages then boom now have healthy babies.. everything works according to GOD's will and timing you are blessed . And you will carry your child. Keep praying and keep your faith , he will bless you at the right time !

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Thanks princess pink (glad you are feeling semi ok) it won't be long until little one is out and you can enjoy all motherhood has to offer.

I've gone back to the gym this week and it's really helped me feel like I'm back into a normal routine too and I feel so much better for going.

Tavia - thank you for your kind words. I am a firm believe in fate and what's meant to be so I know my time will come. Good Luck in your TTC journey xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Thank u Nicola ;) I know I haven't got long now.... iv had cramp in my leg since 7am today. .. it feels like what I use to get with period type cramps. Iv been using hot water bottle on it n resting n hoping it will go away. I'll mention it to mum midwife wen I see her Thursday.

Oh wow well done for going back to the guy n I'm glad it's helping u feel better. Its definitely a positive thing to do.
Just don't over do it. R u sure ur well enough to do work outs? I just don't want u to hurt urself if its too soon.. just ease urself back into it. I'm glad ur being so positive n admire ur determination n strength. X x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Ahhh I hope it gets better Toni - it's not nice being in pain. Hopefully the midwife will sort you out on Thursday.

I've been really careful at the gym and just going steady for now, need to build myself back up as its was nearly 10 weeks I was off for.

I am feeling much more positive and we have decided to try again once my period has returned as we don't know how long it will take and I believe it will happen when it's supposed to. We will stick to the natural approach and let it happen when it happens. Hopefully I'll have some good news this side is Christmas.

Keep me posted on your progress - I would love to know when baby arrives.

Nicola xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Thank you Nicola ;) The constant cramp in my right leg has eased up buy the backache going down my left leg for nearly 2 wks n the limping hasn't :( I saw midwife today n she said its the pressure of the baby n it will go away after the birth. All is well n if I don't go into labour before or on my due date October 1st... then she has booked me in for a sweep in 2 wks time on October 6th and then an induction on October 13th. I just have to try rest but still stay a bit active.

I am glad to hear u are taking it easy at the gym... it is better to do it gradually. I know what u mean though as I like to work out n go for long walks n haven't been able to for a while n I miss it. I was even doing pilate workouts regular at home but now find it too painful so I miss it. And I look forward to being able to get back into shape n guna get an exercise bike n weights to have at home to use. My bf has his own gym equipment at home n the min he's home he likes to do an hour workout. .. hrs obsessed but I know u always feel better after doing one.

I am so pleased to hear u are feeling more positive n it's good I are going to start trying again after ur period n naturally coz ur right u don't know how long it will take to get preg again.

Ur right though I believe It will happen wen it's meant to n I hope it happens for u before Xmas ;) I'm praying for u n sending you lotsa baby dust. ;)

Yea course il keep u posted on my preg.. its just a waiting game at moi. .. midwife did say im 2/5 or 3/5 engaged but it doesn't mean she's coming yet.

Toni x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Ahhh Toni I can't believe you are 6 days away from having this baby in your arms, I hope she comes before you are due for the sweep. I have heard they aren't very nice. She's obviously lovely and snug in there :D

Got to take my pregnancy test tomorrow to check everything has passed, part of me doesn't want to see a negative as I want them to be wrong but then I do want to as it's the start of getting back on track ready to try again. I'm willing my period to arrive - it's frustrating not knowing when it might come.

Do you think you will stay on the forum once baby has arrived? I really hope so as it's lovely to talk to you. Xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hey Nicola, omg I just wrote u a long msg n lost it before I got to send it on my phone.

Yeah I can't believe im due in 5 days it is now its just gone midnight.
Thank u... I too hope baby comes before il be due a sweep.on Oct 6th. Iv heard they aren't nice too n that they don't always work.
Im excited n nervous at the same time to have my baby girl.

Good luck for doing ur test tomo. I know its hard to have to do it. I totally understand. I was the same wanting it to br negative so.o could start to move on but a part of me wanting it to be positive n that it had all be a mistake j I was still health pregnant. But deep down I knew it needed to say negative so.i hope urs does so like u said it is another step towards u moving on.

I have u get ur period soon. I got mine by exactly 4 weeks after the pregnant loss spotting had stopped. .. im sure they say it can take 4 to 6 wks.

I hope U get ur period v soon so u can start to move on n try to get pregnant again. I kknow how sad it all is.n its life the only time u are happy to hey ur period knowing this is another step towards u being able to to ttc again.

Awww thank you ;) That is really no of u to say. Yeah I do plan to stay on this forum after my baby arrives. Il prob be too busy with baby or trying to catch up with sleep to come on here as often. But yes I do plan to still come on here.

I want to know how u n a few other lad who I speak to on here are getting on with ttc n to support u thru ur next pregnancy journey. .. through ur scans etc. One day wen my baby is a still a baby like a yr n bit old ul have a new born baby of ur own n I want u hear all about it n support u n some other ladies on here throughout ur journey.
Coz I know that day will happen n I'm always here to support u n celebrate ur good news wen u have it. In the meantime im here wen ever u need to chat n il keep praying for u n sending u baby dust n positive vibes.

Let me know how u get on in the morning n just know its another step towards u moving forward with ur life.

Toni x x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Toni,

It was negative. I'm sad because like you said I wanted them to be wrong but it's a relief too as it means everything has happened naturally and we can think about trying again although that's very scary at the moment because I'll be expecting the worst when we do find out. I will just have to try and stay positive.

I was pretty sure I was ovulating last week so am expecting my period to be about 4 weeks from the bleeding so only another 2 weeks - we will see, in expecting them to be a bit hit & miss for the first few months anyway.! I hope it doesn't take too long to fall pregnant. This year would be nice to finish on a positive note but I'm not stressing about it.

Will be thinking of you this week and hoping baby makes an appearance before your scheduled sweep.

It's nice to know you will still be around on the forum to chat to as hopefully myself and a few others won't be too long before we are sharing good news again.

Take Care
Nicola xx

Keeponhoping
Posts: 170
Joined: Fri May 13, 2016 8:40 am

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Keeponhoping »

Hope everyone is ok, sorry I've been quiet for a while, not been well, managed to pick up a urine infection currently on antibiotics to clear that up! And then my first AF decided to show it's appearance on Saturday, good that it's arrived but feel terrible with AF on top of infection, double whammy pain, never mind, all will be over soon, although with this infection now, I definitely feel someone or something has had it in for me in 2016, one thing after the next! Will be glad to see the back of this year!

Anyway, tomorrow I am starting a new fitness class to get back into some shape! Thought that was a positive thing to do! X x

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hiya Nicola ;) I am glad to hear u got a negative test result. I know hoy scary it must of been to do ur test n how sad the result is. But it's definitely the resultu needed as this is the next step u need for u to move forward to being healthy again... I wish things had worked out different for u n I will never understand why some women are blessed to have healthy pregs rite away.

I guess we have to go through it to be come stronger people n to appreciate our healthy babies wen we have them even more.

Im glad to hear u think u ovulated n so fingers crossed u will have ur period in 2 wks.

I really hope ur preg again before end of the yr.
Just take it one step at a time n believe it will happen for u soon n wen its meant to.

Of course wen u do get pregnant again u will be scared. .. I definitely was but all u can do is try cut out bad stuff n make a doc appointment n start folic acid n ring epu to try get sn early scan booked n take it a step at a time.

All I did was kept praying n doing positive affirmations n know I wasn't in  control of the outcome but of course I was scared. But I knew if I hadn't taken a risk again I would never have a chance of getting the baby iv always longed for if I gave up trying.

I remember crying at my 6 wks scan outa relief & I still couldn't relax til my 12 wks scan. Then at my 12 wks scan I remember being so scared n especially wen nothing came up on the scan n it was taking ages n then the midwife said my pelvis was tilted n she would try to scan me internally instead n I remember thinking omg iv miscarried with no symptoms. .. I turnt to my bf n I kept saying sorry coz I thought I failed him again. As I got undressed for the internal scan I felt all hot n dizzy n was shaking... I felt like I was guna have a panic attack n faint at the same time. I was so scared n knew I wasn't in control.

Then wen midwife did internal scan within seconds she said there's the baby n heartbeat. I cried straight away out of relief.

She said it was probably coz of tilted pelvis is why scan on my belly didn't work. They told me as baby gets bigger my pelvis should pop out.
So I was then given an extra scan at 17 wks which worked on my tummy right away n I was so relieved n then I had a 20 wks scan to find out sex.

So I realised how much I panicked n worried n even wen the scan didn't work that I wasn't in control n all would turn out how it was meant to n all I could do id try to stay positive n pray.

I believe ul get pregnant wen ur meant to n if it doesn't happen straight away easier said than done but try not to get so obsessed over it like I did wen it took me 7 months.

It will happen for u wen its meant to happen n hopefully soon.

My way of trying to look at it was that it took aslong as it did for me to give my body a chance to heal n have a break from pregnancy after having had two preg losses in the space of 5 months.

Thank u... 5 day count down til baby is due.
I felt ill yesterday with a dodgy belly but felt better in the evening n had dinner.

I fell asleep on sofa for couple hrs n I went to bed wen I woke up at 3am..I was sat up in my bed for half hr n just as I was about to lye down I coughed n my throat burnt n I rushed to loo but didn't make it intime n I threw up in my hand n on my carpet before I managed to get rest of it in loo. I hadn't even felt sick so was a shock.

I felt better after it n baby was lively moving loads.

I woke up properly this morning at 8.30am n belly felt dodgy again so iv ju been lying in my bed.

Iv had juice now n im on sofa with hot water bottle n I feel more better. Il try eat some breakfast soon but I think il avoid dairy.

A few people have said to me u can get a dodgy belly before u go into labour but iv had no signs of it coming though. Thank u... I really don't want to have the sweep.

Yeah definitely il stay on this forum. N message wen I can. I can't wait to hear ur good news on here n offer u any support n advice that I can as u go through ur journey. Im confident it will happen for u soon. X x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Hi Kate - it's nice to hear from you. Was thinking about you and hoping all was ok. I feel the same about 2016 - twice in one year with failed pregnancies but I'm hoping to end of a high note but if I don't it's not meant to be.

That's great about the fitness class - I do some running and it really helps to clear my head and I feel so much better after it.

I know not horrible the first AF after these things are - I stayed in bed with mine after the eptopic as it was so painful so I'm not looking forward to that.

Toni - I think you're right and I know when I do have my baby I will be eternally grateful and I will never take a day for granted. I'll know what a miracle it is.

I have actually heard you can get a bad belly before you go into labour so it could be a good sign - keep us posted. I bet you are nervous and excited at the same time aren't you?

I will be so scared when I have my scans again - I will be sat there with my eyes closed praying all is ok. I have to take it a day at a time though and be positive. It happens when it's supposed to and hopefully this time is the right time

Keep us updated as I don't think it will be long for you now. Will be thinking of you and hoping everything is ok.

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hey Nicola,

Yea that is how I feel that this baby im going to have is such a miracle to have who I'll love n appreciate having so much ( which I already do) at same time coz of what others are still hoiu through n still waiting for their miricale babies it some times makes me feel like I don't deserve to be having a healthy baby now... but then I have to remember what iv been through also n believe we all get blessed with a healthy miracle baby of our own wen we are meant to. ...

Yeah me too.iv heard u can get a dodgy belly before labour too. But I def ain't in labour. My tummy is ok now n I made n had s curry for dinner but it didn't work.

Iv had cramps today in tumm n back legs.n groin so I just rested with hot water bottle n bath again n iv had sharp pains in my groim on n off but I this that is just the pressure from baby's head but I definitely haven't gone into labour. Baby is very lively still.

Yes I am excited but nervous n even scared at the same time. But I know. I have to go through the labour n birth. .. im just not good with pain n im scared of going into labour Wen im alone coz bf leaves for work at 7.30am n gets home 5/5.30 but I know I can call him n hel get lift straight home or meet me at hospital.

Yeah its normal to be scared at scans after what we been through. Wen.i had.my 6 wks scan for this pregnancy. I squeezed my bf hand n wouldn't look at the screen until they gave me good news n my hands were sweating n shaking.

But ur right u have to try think positive n pray n trust it will all work out for u wen it is meant to n believe n know u deserve to have a healthy preg n baby.

Of course il keep u updated... I hope.ur right that I haven't got long now. Thank you so much for ur support n ur kind words.

I hope ur ok n not over doing it at the gym.

I'm sending you hugs n positive vibes.

X x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Thanks Princess Pink.

I know it will be my turn soon and I can't wait for that day.

You 100% deserve this baby, you have been through an awful lot and you are still here supporting others - it's amazing!

Labour will only be half the pain of the things you have experienced so embrace it - this pain is good as it's brining your little baby to you. I hope it all goes well and am thinking of you.

I'm still going steady at the gym, I'm going tonight and then meeting a friend to see the new Bridget Jones film so I'm really looking forward to that.

Keep Rested cx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hey Nicola, thank u so much for what u said...its so kind of u to say n made me even feel emotional reading it ;) but in a good way; )

We all need time to grieve n deal with loss n this site really helped me coz my friends n family were supportive but I felt they didn't understand having not been through it n I didn't want to do theit heads in and my bf didn't want to keep talking about it coz he said I was letting it consume me n he wanted to just keep busy n it was horrible as his niece got pregnant n told us 2 months after my miscarriage n came to stay for Xmas n it was like rubbing it in my face n made me angry she would smoke n drink wine at 2 months preg wen id justlost mine n had quit fags n drink.

I went to my bf best friend wedding a yr ago was so hard especially as all 3 bridesmaids were pregnant was a note mare for men at that point I had been ttc for 4 this preg for 4 months & had no luck.

So this forum had helped me deal with so much so I like to be able to offer back any support I can to u n others on here. Coz I know how u need that support n hope.

But thanks again for being so kind
. It means alot ;)

You are so right that it will be ur turn soon and it makes me feel excited for u ;) I really admire ur strenth n positivity.

Thank you for ur support re labour n birth n ur right. .. im just a woose will pain but ur right there is something good at the end of it ;) il try hold on to that wen im in pain ;)

I'm glad ur taking it easy at the gym ;) Ooh are u... I really want to see that film. I hope u enjoy it ;) it be good for u to go cinema with ur friend.

Let me know if it's any good. .. I really want to see it but don't think I could sit through the cinema right now n id be going loo all the time.

Have fun though n be proud of urself for doing all these positive things is amazing strength n so good for u.

Toni x x x

Nicola1720
Posts: 424
Joined: Mon May 09, 2016 9:11 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by Nicola1720 »

Thanks. This site has been amazinh and especially talking to you and others who have been through similar situations, like you say it's so hard for people to understand if they haven't been in that situation. My husband is the same when I say oh it should have been this and that and he says you can't think about those things and I know he is right but it's hard when it's a date I should have been having a scan or a midwife appointment.

My sister is getting married in December next year and I'm really hoping to have had a baby so I can be there with my baby as there's a few people I know who are trying at the moment. But it will be what it will be and maybe I'll be pregnant at the wedding - in MOH so really want to look nice in my dress and not a pregnant whale haha.

I'll let you know if the film is good - you will have to get it on DVD when it comes out and watch it when the baby is in bed. Have you got a name yet?

I've started taking royal jelly supplements today - I've heard they are good for egg quality and I know the methotrexate I had may have damaged my eggs so I'm doing all I can to be healthy for next time. I'm on prenatals too and back exercising so I feel good.

Hope you are resting up.

Xx

princess pink
Posts: 896
Joined: Tue Mar 17, 2015 12:47 pm

Re: Heart is broken...

Post by princess pink »

Hey, Yeah u are so right n I don't know how I would of coped without this site. Us women remember things like dates its hard not to. I still remember my 2nd baby would of been age 1 soon on October 28th... I'm gonna light a candle n say a prayer like I did wen my first baby would of been age 1 in May this year. Im hoping il find it less painful coz il have my baby in my arms by time it would of been my 2nd baby's 1st birthday.

Im hoping as yrs go on it will get easier to deal with these dates.

Yeah guys deal with these things differently to us women n probably won't remember certain dates unless we remind them.

Oh really that is lovely that ur sis is getting married next yr and coz that is like 15 months away im sure ul have to newborn baby in ur arms by then... fingers crossed for u but that is definitely enough time for u to have s health baby by then.

Yeah do please n il definitely watch that film. .. im sure it will be good. I hope u enjoy it tonight ;)

Yes I have a name for my baby is Arielle, Chloe, Ann, Tunnah ;) Arielle is french meaning of Ariel n u pronononce it 'Ari ee lle' how the crab says it in lil mermaid disney cartoon. Ann is my bf Daves mums name who he is close to and Chloe is name iv always wanted as a first name for a baby girl but my bf won't agree coz its his 19 yr old nieces name so he said its too weird to have ut for our baby. So we agreed on it bein a middle name instead.

Its good u are going to be taking royal jelly supplements to help ur egg quality.

I know I didn't have to have that methotrexate but iv definitely read on here from the hosts that if u are going to ttc again after having it... im sure they said u need to take folic acid for 3 months before u can ttc again. Because methotrexate is meant to reduce the folic acid in ur body... so please look into this coz I don't want u to ttc before its safe for ur body to do so... look into it coz I could be wrong.

Its good ur taking prenatals n exercising too... u are doing so well n what with socializing too n talking on here
.. u are doing so well.

I am resting up thanks. Taking a relaxing bath. Still no signs of labour just some cramps in legs n tummy on n off feels like period cramps.

I haven't felt good earlier today coz had banging headache n felt all hot n sore throat n had nitemare but I think it was coz we have workmen banging outside my bedroom from early in the morning every day n coz of this new series iv started watching on tv with my nf call the killing... I think it all just gave me nitemare.

I guess these cramps are normal. 3 days til due date n I just want to know wen baby is coming.

I know I need to be more patient.

I hope ur film is fun x x

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