Hello, thanks for taking your time to read my post! I may waffle because I'm really good at that so apologies if that's the case.
So I went to the docs in a lot of pain told them I'd missed a period whilst having the coil in and brown discharge, slight neck pain but a lot of tummy pain. I was told it's possibly constipation have some laxatives and come back in a week if it's not gone, it's kidney stones. Then the following day my partner woke me to see if I wanted food (he knows how to sweet talk me haha) then left, I went to go for a number 2 hadn't been for a couple of days which is irregular for me, was in so much pain, felt sweaty but cold and like I was going to pass out. My partner returned and I said I needed an ambulance, he called for one but they wouldn't come so adviced to get a doctor out which we did, she felt my tummy and said it appendix so went to hospital, my partner had done a waking night and I thought I was being a drama queen and would be sent on My way so told him to go home and get some sleep to find out im pregnant, at that point I knew it wasn't good news with being in so much pain and having the coil, just really wished I hadn't sent my partner Away. Had the ultrasound and they said a lot of fluid around my little baby t and I'm very close to rupturing, so went into theatre and what not, took my left tube and baby, was in for 3 and a half hours and lost a litre of blood. I've had a month off work as I'm a support worker and wouldn't be able to restrain if needed and during the month off avoided everything to do with it, sounds terrible to say but enjoyed being at home. Since being at work it's hit me fast and hard, had my first period and since then haven't stopped crying and not really know where my head is. Had a couple of letters from the hospital first one saying I have bacterial vaginosis and received antibiotics for this that make me feel sick and tired, and second one about a baby ceremony so lay flowers and pay respects for baby t, which is nice but makes it all very real. I'm a bit of a bury my head in the sand kind of girl and I am unable to do that with this situation and it's killing me. Even my dreams don't let me escape it. My family and my partners family have been so supportive and I couldn't of asked for anything more from them. My partner has already got a young child from a previous relationship and I'm struggling to not get jealous about it, came out of hospital on Friday night and had his young child on the Saturday as normal, but I was a little offended by it, he says that I'm selfish for being offended but I can't help that. I don't know if I'm over emotional right now and that's what it boils down to or what. My head is everywhere. I hope this makes some form of sense, I appreciate you guys reading this and giving me advice x
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Need to write it down somewhere
Re: Need to write it down somewhere
Dear Emily,
I totally understand your post. I had surgery to remove my ectopic pregnancy 3 1/2 weeks ago. I am due to go back to work next week and am dreading it. (I'm a midwife).
It's understandable the feelings you are getting towards your partners child. It's difficult talking about or seeing anything pregnancy/baby related for me, I can't imagine what you are going through.
What has helped me is keeping a sort of diary to write all my feelings down. Sometimes it's difficult to put into words to someone what is going through your mind but writing it down seems easier..
It's horrible going through this but you have supportive people around you- use them! I was stupid and acted like I was fine and now everyone thinks I am fine! Although my mom and partner have been fantastic.
Here if you need to talk/have a rant
Xx
I totally understand your post. I had surgery to remove my ectopic pregnancy 3 1/2 weeks ago. I am due to go back to work next week and am dreading it. (I'm a midwife).
It's understandable the feelings you are getting towards your partners child. It's difficult talking about or seeing anything pregnancy/baby related for me, I can't imagine what you are going through.
What has helped me is keeping a sort of diary to write all my feelings down. Sometimes it's difficult to put into words to someone what is going through your mind but writing it down seems easier..
It's horrible going through this but you have supportive people around you- use them! I was stupid and acted like I was fine and now everyone thinks I am fine! Although my mom and partner have been fantastic.
Here if you need to talk/have a rant
Xx
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Emily+mcclovin
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2017 12:56 am
Re: Need to write it down somewhere
Thank you for your message and ear/shoulder to cry on I really appreciate it 
Yeah I can imagine going back to work for you especially in your line of work will be incredibly difficult. Does your work know?
It's hard to see the pity face for me! Me and my partner aren't really getting along, I feel like he's stressed and emotional and I am too but we don't know how to communicate it to each other, sounds silly I know but I'm scared and really low, weirdly feel worse now than I did when it happened. It's like it's just sunk in and having a month off was a dream. My friend has been an amazing ear and she pampers me, she's made a massive effort and I'll never forget that but wish I could talk to him the way I talk to her haha.
A diary is actually a really good idea, and I'll start one! Thank you
Were you trying for a baby? Or did everything come as a shock? What was your experience? (If you don't mind me asking, of course you don't have to say if you would rather not)
Hope today has been a good day for you, feel free to message me if you need anything
Emily x
Yeah I can imagine going back to work for you especially in your line of work will be incredibly difficult. Does your work know?
It's hard to see the pity face for me! Me and my partner aren't really getting along, I feel like he's stressed and emotional and I am too but we don't know how to communicate it to each other, sounds silly I know but I'm scared and really low, weirdly feel worse now than I did when it happened. It's like it's just sunk in and having a month off was a dream. My friend has been an amazing ear and she pampers me, she's made a massive effort and I'll never forget that but wish I could talk to him the way I talk to her haha.
A diary is actually a really good idea, and I'll start one! Thank you
Were you trying for a baby? Or did everything come as a shock? What was your experience? (If you don't mind me asking, of course you don't have to say if you would rather not)
Hope today has been a good day for you, feel free to message me if you need anything
Emily x
Re: Need to write it down somewhere
No worries- it's times like this we all need someone to just listen.
Yeah my works knows and have been supportive, Im just not sure I'm ready to go back yet. Although I know the longer I leave the more difficult it will be. Not sure what to do for the best. Did you have a month off? Do you think you needed longer?
It is really difficult sometimes to express your feelings to your partner and I imagine he is feeling the same as you. If it is becoming a barrier between you then it better to talk about it now rather than leaving it. As I said before writing it down may help. So maybe write him a letter? Sounds a bit daft but if you're both struggling to talk about it, it might be worth a shot?
You don't have to be there when he reads it. Plus writing the letter will help you get things off your chest that you might be afraid to say out loud.
We had been trying for 2 years and were just in the process going for fertility treatment. So it all came as a massive shock but by the time we were getting used to it I was diagnosed as having an ectopic. The surgery went went but it was very weird being treated by the same Drs that I work with. But they were all really nice.
How was your experience?
Have you got a follow up appointment with the hospital?
I hope today has been a good day for you too
Xx
Yeah my works knows and have been supportive, Im just not sure I'm ready to go back yet. Although I know the longer I leave the more difficult it will be. Not sure what to do for the best. Did you have a month off? Do you think you needed longer?
It is really difficult sometimes to express your feelings to your partner and I imagine he is feeling the same as you. If it is becoming a barrier between you then it better to talk about it now rather than leaving it. As I said before writing it down may help. So maybe write him a letter? Sounds a bit daft but if you're both struggling to talk about it, it might be worth a shot?
You don't have to be there when he reads it. Plus writing the letter will help you get things off your chest that you might be afraid to say out loud.
We had been trying for 2 years and were just in the process going for fertility treatment. So it all came as a massive shock but by the time we were getting used to it I was diagnosed as having an ectopic. The surgery went went but it was very weird being treated by the same Drs that I work with. But they were all really nice.
How was your experience?
Have you got a follow up appointment with the hospital?
I hope today has been a good day for you too
Xx
