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My story so far
My story so far
I just wanted to share my story so far. Hopefully it will help others to not feel alone and maybe help me too. There are lots of questions I have that still aren't answered and maybe they never will be, but any advice will be very gratefully received.
I found out I was pregnant in between Christmas and new year. I was absolutely over the moon as I always feared I wouldn't get pregnant, I think mainly because I had been on the pill years but was quite forgetful with it but I never got caught. I'm 31 now and had never fallen preganant before but this was our first proper 'try' since being off the pill in June 2016.
My partner and I were so happy to be pregnant. A few days after finding out my partner and I had sex and I Immediately afterward I started spotting when I used the bathroom. The spotting didn't stop for 5 days. After day one I contacted the gp and went in for serum HCG tests they had doubled to 5000 after 48 hours. I was referred to the early pregnancy unit. By this time I was 6 weeks and 2 days. I had an internal scan and was told with no real empathy "there is no sign of pregnancy" get dressed and go back through to the midwife. All I could feel was confusion. I wanted to say so what's this then? A phantom pregnancy? Was I ever pregnant or was my body playing some cruel trick.
The midwife then told me that I was having a preganancy of unknown location. I had no idea what this was and it never even crossed my mind that I would be having an ectopic pregnancy. When I tried to ask what it meant she said they can't look in my tubes or anywhere else so can't diagnose it as ectopic so class it as unknown. She went on to say that it would not be a viable pregnancy and that I needed to get my "head around it" before she took my blood. Anyway long story short I was given methotrexate. I only just made mark for that as the unit don't allow it at levels of 5000 by this point mine were 4975. I read online that sucesss rates can depend on the size of the sac as well
As HCG levels? Does anyone know if this is the case? Is there a way this could have been found out?
After the injection I felt well for the first 7 days and my levels were dropping well. By day 14 they were at 498 and my LFT normal. Day 14 was the day I was admitted to hospital with internal bleeding. I was doubled over in agony, nauseous and almost passed out. I was treated with IV paracetamol in the ambulance which helped. I remember feeling very cold, and as though I couldn't take deep breaths. My stomach muscles also seemed to take on a mind of their own! I was admitted to the surgical ward after having had internal and external examinations in a&e. The plan was to monitor me very closely through the night and operate in the morning via keyhole surgery to see what was happening. The consultant kept saying I was a very strange presentation as I was alert but had not had any bleeding down below but couldn't understand why my tummy was so tender. They suspected a 'tubal miscarriage'.
After surgery I was told they had removed 1.5 litres of blood from my abdomen and my entire left Fallopian tube. They told me there was a "very large" ectopic pregnancy in my tube that hadn't rupture but had stretched so much it was forcing out bleeding.
I don't understand why it was so large if my HCG levels had dropped so well? In which case do the HCG levels count for anything? Or is more the size of the sac that matters when considering the intial options for treatment?
I was also asked by several different doctors if it was a planned pregnancy, a few assumed it wasn't. I don't understand why this matters? But I have seen the other people were asked this.
I'm now 4 days post surgery and feeling generally well. I feel lucky to be alive and have such a wonderful support network in my partner and family. I haven't really given my emotions a chance t get in and I haven't thought about the fact that my tube is gone or about the baby that we could have had. I daren't let those thoughts in but I know they will come and sometimes I burst into tears without warning! I am very scared for the future as many of the lovely ladies on here say, the fear of going through this again is a bit much to bear. But I know if we have a successful pregnany it will be the most special experience in the world. Sending love and hugs to all xxx
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- Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2017 2:16 pm
Re: My story so far
Re: My story so far
Thank you so much for sharing your story, I'm so sorry for your loss, it must feel particularly bad having gone through ivf but you sound very positive and like you say even though we think we couldn't go through it again we can cope with more than we give ourselves credit I remember being at the first scan and thinking that I wouldn't know what to do if they told us something bad but I've surprised myself in how I've dealt with it and seem to getting on well, up to now anyway
I can't understand this unknown location thing, why cant they scan the tubes? I especially don't understand it in your case with IVF?! How ridiculous! God I can't imagine what you must have felt xxx
Re: My story so far
Re: My story so far
My gosh it's such an awful experience isn't it? Yeah me too, I'm a mental health nurse and at the time I was shocked at the attitude and kind of Blasé, just another case sort of an attitude but was so preoccupied with what was happening I didn't give it too much thought. I was treated with surgery In Scarborough out of area for me as I was on holiday at the time. Scarborough were just brilliant and the more I reflect on the care I initially received at my local EPU the more disappointed I am by it.
But like you, I feel lucky. Lucky to have received such wonderful care at Scarborough and to have a loving supportive family. And of course, you ladies to confide in xxx
Re: My story so far
Re: My story so far
You're absolutely right! When I got to Scarborough for and ended up having emergency surgery the it was the gynaecologist and the surgeon who held my hand and stroked my head, telling me they would look after me and that I was in good hands. I can't say how important this was and that caring nature will always stay with me.
This site is wonderful at bringing together support and has too, helped me immensely you're right onwards and upwards! I'm now 10 days post surgery and already I'm on the mend xxx