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Loss of hope

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Alin
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:38 am

Loss of hope

Post by Alin »

I don't know where this post should go so I am sorry if I get this wrong. I have had 3 miscarriages and now an ectopic pregnancy which has ended my possibilities at pregnancy. I have a daughter already who is a massive blessing. My partner already has two children by a previous marriage in their twenties and he compromised to try for this child. We did a year of IVF. I know I have to accept that this is God or fates will but it's so hard. I love my daughter and I am incredibly lucky to have her it's not about that I just wanted her to have a sibling so much and to complete our family. I was a teacher and a nursery worker before I had to join my partner in his business. Children are what makes my heart sign. I'd adopt or foster but my partner won't entertain it at all. I just can't see a future where I can mend my broken heart. Everyone this end thinks I am being ungrateful for my daughter or unrealistic as I am too old for a baby anyway but I hurt I hurt so badly. I try so hard in my life to cope to accept things as they are but this is too hard. I have been facing this grief for 3 years and years before that after my divorce realising I wouldn't have the family I wanted. My partner and I aren't united in grief he's a workaholic. I feel so depressed. I know I am blessed with one child I do realise that but how do you rebuild your life when it doesn't feel like you have hope.

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Loss of hope

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Alin,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to experience multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.
I think it is completely normal to grieve for what we have lost and for the loss of the future we had planned out and longed for.
I too found that whilst friends and family were well-meaning, they didn't truly understand how I felt and the loss I was experiencing. It took me 2 years to reach out to the Trust and here is where I started to feel peace. I was advised to go for counselling and found this so helpful.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask me any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling.

We have information on our website about finding counselling services.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love,
Karen x

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