I've blocked it out

[Anaye]

I took Ellaone on the 8th of April as an emergency contraception (I was ovulating & had forgotten to take my contraception on holiday) but was told this would work even during ovulation as long as it was taken within 5 days of unprotected intercourse. I'd just suffered a natural miscarriage in January and was only beginning to recover from that emotionally hence why I opted to take Ellaone. A few days before my period was due I began to get pregnancy symptoms, fatigue, breast tenderness, nausea but I thought this was just my period coming on. On the 24th of April when my period was due I took two pregnancy tests the non digital one had a weak positive and the digital one tested positive indicating that I was 1-2 weeks pregnant. A part of me was excited, another a bit confused and scared but we decided to continue with the pregnancy anyway. On Sunday the 30th of April I woke up with a very dull pain on the lower side of my abdomen, it wasn't excruciating or unbearable but I started spotting so I went to A&E thinking it'll just be a routine check anyway. Within a few hours of going to A&E I was signing consent forms for emergency surgery and had been diagnosed with an ectopic on my left tube. It all happened so quickly so much of it is still a blur but I remember crying uncontrollably. I was in theatre for about 3 hours, the Dr's managed to save my tube (though I was told I'm at high risk of having the ectopic returning on the same tube)... I was discharged the next day (1 May) but since then I have somehow blocked this incident in my mind like it didn't happen. I feel like I can't feel guilt because I had taken emergency contraception and yet a life had been created which I was also happy with. This morning is the first time I felt overwhelmed with tears and I feel guilty for feeling this way. It's easier for me to block it out at the moment and pretend like it never happened as facing it is just making me feel really guilty.

[EPT Host 22]

Hi Anaye,

I'm so sorry to hear what you have been through. An ectopic pregnancy is a devastating and frightening ordeal, and many emotions are felt during recovery. Please remember, your ectopic was very recent and it is extremely important to look after yourself. Most importantly, it's important to try not to feel guilty. There is nothing you did to cause the ectopic pregnancy.

Many find it of comfort to speak to someone who has been through same thing and our boards are full of women who have been through ectopic pregnancies. As you continue in your recovery, you may want to speak to your Drs for referral into Counselling or you may want to contact your local Mind Centre for support. Additionally, we can also arrange for you to speak to someone on our helpline at the number below to support you alongside the Counselling. You will also find more information for support on our website: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

Please do be kind to yourself and allow yourself all the time and space that you need to heal. We are here for you as long as you need.

With good wishes,



Michele

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[Roses2016]

Hi there,

I just wanted to message to say that you aren't alone in how you are feeling. I also suffered with an ectopic pregnancy back in November last year after taking emergency contraception. I lost my left tube and felt violated by the whole experience, especially as I felt excited when I found out I was pregnant and was ready to embrace the surprise in my life. I felt a huge amount of guilt and sometimes still do. I also feel a lot of anger that the risk of having an ectopic when taking emergency contraception isn't talked about anywhere. My GP was fantastic through my experience and acknowledged that there is a known risk and that women should be warned of this more. With time though the feelings do get better and you will come to terms with what happened. You have to remember that you would never have taken the pill if you knew what would happen - it was't your fault. I've learnt that it is good to work through your feelings. Sometimes the tears are overwhelming and it is so, so painful, but it won't always feel so awful. If you want to talk to someone who understands then I would be happy to chat here. Be kind to yourself and take care x

[Anaye]

Thank you for your replies, I've finally started opening up about what happened and working on accepting it. It's been a week and one day since surgery and it has been difficult for me especially today when I had to go to the EPU for blood tests to see if my HCG levels are going down. I sat in the same waiting room I sat after my diagnosis and it brought back unpleasant emotions. I've decided to speak to a professional to get help with coping as well as I can see myself sinking into a dark hole. I've always dealt with things fairly well but I think the miscarriage in January and then this ectopic last week are things I'm failing to cope with. Thank you for all your encouraging words.

[Roses2016]

Hi Anaye,
I am glad that you are seeking help, there is no need to be alone with this and it is very strong of you to recognise that you need support. You are still very early days from the surgery and still healing as well as processing what happened. Please be kind to yourself. I am sending lots of positive energy your way and hope with all my heart that you are supported through this awful time. Try to hold onto hope, even if it feels like sand in your hands at times. It will feel better one day with time. Take care x

[Melissa1987]

I'm so sorry for both of your losses and hope you start to feel better.

I too have recently had surgery for an ectopic on my right tube. I too took the morning after pill, purely as a precaution after an accident with my long term partner. I'm not on any contraception as we were going to try more towards the end of the year anyway, after I'm bridesmaid for my sisters wedding. I am
Convinced that pill caused this. I'm so devastated as if I'd had any idea I would never have taken it. As soon as I found out I was pregnant we were thrilled and very much wanted the baby.

Did your Gp really acknowledge that it can cause a risk? Whenever I've mentioned it to drs they go quiet and try to dodge an answer. If there is any risk, women need to know. This is the most traumatic, heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me and I feel so angry and guilty that it could have been avoided.

How are you both doing now? X

[Roses2016]

Hi there,

I am so, so sorry to hear that you have also been through such an awful experience. I can relate to everything you have said. Thank you for sharing this, as it helps me to feel less alone. Particularly because of the pill, I felt like I was the only person to have gone through an ectopic in that sort of situation. But I am feeling much better now and am happy to say that I have just found out that I have managed to conceive again after 3 months of trying. The experience really put things into perspective for me and my husband and we felt like we didn't want to lose any time waiting any more. So it's true when the say that, although it does affect you, it doesn't mean that you won't be able to have that happiness again. I'm still in shock as I thought it might never happen.

I have spoken to a few GPs throughout this experience but there was one who was fantastic and I feel it is thanks to him that I ended up getting diagnosed. Although I lost my tube, i also had the methotrexate beforehand and so had to wait 12 weeks before we could try to conceive. My doctor was very supportive in prescribing me with 5mg of folic acid during that time and then I asked for a blood test afterwards to know that my levels were normal again. That was when I spoke to him on the phone and he said that it is extremely rare but that there is a link. Though he said I am the first person he has come across. So it's a tricky link and I definitely know what you mean about most GPs dodging the issue! The hospital staff definitely didn't openly acknowledge it, even then they were always concerned when I said that I had taken the pill. I think there is mention of it on this website too. I wonder if there just isn't enough research backing it yet. All I know is that I will never take it again and I will share my experience with my close friends so that they know there is a risk.

I am so sorry that you feel angry and guilty, even that is completely normal. It is only now, 6 months on, that I have come to accept it and I try to see it as an experience that helped me to grow and learn about myself. But sometimes I still feel very sad about it all.

How are you coping? Do you have supportive people around you?

x

[Melissa1987]

Thank you so much for replying. Congratulations, that's brilliant news and is so good to hear a positive story. You will be looked after and offered early scanning this time around. I'm sure everything will be fine!

I'm doing ok. A day hadn't gone past yet where I haven't sobbed, but I'm hopeful that day will come soon. I'm struggling to sleep though as the pain seems to be worse at night! I've also been feeling quite panicked before going to sleep.

I have amazing people around me, so I'm very lucky. It's going to take a long time to feel ok, but I'll get there in the end. I keep thinking I nearly died but didn't, so what point is there being alive if I'm miserable. I'm so glad I didn't die and so I'm not going to spend my time feeling negative - as hard as that is!

If you don't mind me asking, how long did it take after the first bleed a few days after surgery, to get your first period?

Congratulations again x

[Marshmallow101]

I realise this was a few years ago now but I wanted to post in case someone else goes through the same thing too.
I took Ella one after I ovulated and after having a faint positive test on the day i was due and a very slight niggle on my right ovary side I was sent for scans.
Scans found what they believed could be ectopic in my right ovary.
There was no severe pain or any of the symptoms which are usually stated when you google ectopic. I just felt like I wasn’t pregnant but that something was going on on my right side.
My hcg is being monitored and thankfully falling but I wanted to warn anyone who takes Ella one and misses a period (I am still only one week late now) if you feel anything not quite right DO NOT IGNORE IT. DONT BELIEVE ECTOPIC MUST BE SEVERE PAIN. I caught it super early but it was most definitely caused by Ella one.
Manufacturers and medical professionals are not being honest with how this drug works.
It blocks progesterone. If fertilisation has happened and there is not progesterone the egg is blocked from travelling to the correct place to implant and it might just implant wherever it can.
I could have easily ignored the pain, it’s not even bad enough for paracetamol but I knew something was not right with the pregnancy tests being all over the place sometimes faint sometimes not sometimes positive.
Do not take Ella one and if you do be vigilant on any changes in your body.
Do not believe anyone that tells you Ella one doesn’t interfere with healthy implantation - if you research the drug action you will see it has every possibility and is very likely it WILL AND DOES affect healthy implantation.
I now am waiting to see whether it will resolve itself or if I will require surgery.
I’m healthy 28 with no risk factors for ectopic other than taking Ella one.
Women should be informed of the real way this drug works