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Nearly 7 months after surgery

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ash0907
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jun 07, 2017 3:08 pm

Nearly 7 months after surgery

Post by ash0907 »

Hey all,

I suffered an Ectopic Pregnancy in November of last year. I had my left tube removed by emergency surgery, around one week after a positive test, after it ruptured causing internal bleeding.

Only now I have been feeling really down and in the dumps. I put on such a brave face telling everyone I was fine and I was coping well but it turns out, I'm not anymore. I'm only 23 and this was the first time I fell pregnant. I now realise that I really wanted this and I can't help but feel a sense of loss and I'm sad my body didn't allow me to carry my baby :(.

I have a 17 month old nephew and another one the way and what triggered this was a post my sis in law put up saying how she loved her body for allowing her to carry her babies. Now I'm not at all angry at that or bitter, of course she's entitled to post that - she's got two beautiful babies! It just made me so sad. My mum doesn't often get to see my nephew (her only grandson just now) and it makes me even more sad and angry that I couldn't provide her with a grandchild that she could love and cuddle whenever she wanted!

I have never been told by doctors how easy (or hard) it would be to conceive again nor have they explained fully everything that happened! I now have permenant scars (from keyhole) to remind me of all the above and I'm not ok. I just need other people who know how I feel to talk to! I strongly believe my grieving period has set it, I have so many emotions right now it's unreal.

Ash xo

Ktd1009
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Jun 07, 2017 11:54 am

Re: Nearly 7 months after surgery

Post by Ktd1009 »

Hi ash,
Sorry to hear about your loss i myself had keyhole two weeks ago yesterday and had my right tube removed this is now my second ectopic but i had the injections before,

Greif works in loads of different ways i remember with my first ectopic i felt the exact same and it took a while to sink in that was my first pregnancy also and now when i was told i was having a second ectopic that was in the same tube as my previous i felt heartbroken.

Doctors reassured me it only affects your fertility by 20% they also said all because a egg is realised from the left or the right overy doesn't mean it will go down the same tube so you could conceive from the left and it goes down the right tube which i wasn't aware of.

I'm greiving very badly at the minute and the pain is sometimes unbearable all you need to think is you have become pregnant so you are fertile if your nervous or need to I'd strongly suggest going to the doctors like your self I'm young too I'm only 22 if you ever need someone to talk to i can listen and try help best i can hope you start to feel better soon.and hope i may have helped

Kiri xxx

ash0907
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jun 07, 2017 3:08 pm

Re: Nearly 7 months after surgery

Post by ash0907 »

Hi Kirk,

Thank you for your reply!

I'm really sorry to hear this is your second ectopic :(. One thing they did tell me was that there's a slightly higher risk it could also happen to me again & I don't know how I'd cope with that considering how I feel now.

Its really good to hear that it only affects fertility by 20%, I think I needed to hear that most. I never knew the eggs could go down both tubes and come from the opposite ovary!

My mum is a therapist so she is helping me with the grief a little and being really supportive. If I do feel I need to go to the doctors I definitely will because it is so overwhelming sometimes. Like you said, it does make me feel a little better knowing that I am fertile but also slightly scared in case it happens again. Same goes to you, if you also need someone I'm happy to listen and help! I hope you're recovering well, the recovery process is certainly not easy.

Ash xo

ash0907
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Jun 07, 2017 3:08 pm

Re: Nearly 7 months after surgery

Post by ash0907 »

Sorry that is supposed to say Kiri* stupid autocorrect!

Ktd1009
Posts: 9
Joined: Wed Jun 07, 2017 11:54 am

Re: Nearly 7 months after surgery

Post by Ktd1009 »

It's ok! No worries :)

I no how hard it is and don't worry I'm the same knowing that you are more high risk is scary but the woman who scanned me said she's had so many women who have had a ectopic and have come back in to have children and another thing is that they are very good with you when pregnant again if you have any pains or bleeding or anything like that go straight up to a&e and make sure you let your doctor no as well they will scan you at 6 weeks and do regular blood checks for you also so they will look after you honestly tho anytime you need a chat drop me a message sometimes it's better when you speak to someone who's been through it .. xx

Jjj
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Jan 19, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: Nearly 7 months after surgery

Post by Jjj »

Hi. I'm really sorry to hear about your loss. I had emergency surgery to remove one of my tubes in February, a week after finding out I was pregnant for the first time so know how difficult it is.
I had lots of questions for the doctors as had the same concerns as you about fertility. Hopefully this will help you.
As the other lady said, your chances of getting pregnant each month are slightly reduced, by around 20%. However, your tube can pick up an egg that's released in the opposite ovary as they're not connected but the fallopian tube endings are like tiny hands & fingers (as the hospital explained!) and when an egg is released the other tube will reach out to try and grab it.
Apparently the chances of having an extopic pregnancy are about 3% and this increases to around 10% if you've had one previously. Or to have a more positive outlook, there's a 90% chance of a healthy pregnancy :D
Good luck with trying. You're still extremely young and have lots of time ahead of you. My docs recommended waiting at least three months/until you feel emotionally ready. If you can i would recommend seeing a counsellor, which my partner and I did. I know you said your mum's a therapist but having an outside 'neutral' person can be a real benefit. Esp if you feel guilty about your mums happiness at being a grandmother from your sister.
I still feel sad when I think of other friends who have had/are having healthy pregnancies but talking has really helped. I've found it useful to think when I become pregnant will be when it's meant to be. I'm fairly impatient when I want things! :D but try not to compare yourself with others. Take time to heal. It will help you prepare and you will be able to enjoy it when your time comes.
All the best.

Maneet10
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Sep 14, 2015 8:09 am

Re: Nearly 7 months after surgery

Post by Maneet10 »

Hi Ash, I just wanted to send you a message of hope. I had an ectopic pregnancy and had to have my right tube removed. My husband and I were devastated. Like you I felt really depressed, guilty and very anxious about my future fertility. However, I'm very happy to say that I became pregnant again 9 months after surgery. I now have my 6 month old daughter asleep in my arms. If it can happen for me it can happen for you too. Try and stay positive and hopeful xx

hobbit94
Posts: 6
Joined: Thu Jul 27, 2017 11:50 pm

Re: Nearly 7 months after surgery

Post by hobbit94 »

I know how you feel Ash, im 22 and i had surgery to have my right tub taken out after having an ectopic pregnancy. I found out i had an ectopic pregnancy just over 2 weeks after i found out i was pregnant, it has now been nearly 5 months and i still feel lost, guilty, empty and angry. It didn't help that me and my boyfriend broke up a couple of weeks ago and losing the baby was the start of it all sometimes i have good days but other days are just awful i just dont want to do anything but stay in bed and do nothing, i had a pregnancy scare a few weeks ago and i was absolutely terrified that it was going to happen again. i am very self contious of my body now because i have a big C-section scare on my bikini line that reminds me of what i lost everyday. i dont know how to cope and move on and i wish i knew how to.

Taylor x

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