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No one to talk to

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
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Lynette
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun May 28, 2017 3:21 pm

No one to talk to

Post by Lynette »

I still feel pregnant 3weeks after removing the tube could I still be pregnant in my womb or is it wishful thinking xx I feel so lonely and low :(

dlm08
Posts: 31
Joined: Fri Apr 28, 2017 8:30 pm
Location: USA

Re: No one to talk to

Post by dlm08 »

I know that I also felt pregnant for a few weeks after my surgery. As I understand it It takes time for your hcg levels to return to zero so you might still experience some pregnancy symptoms in the mean time. Its such an awful thing to experience...take care of yourself and I'll be sending positive thoughts your way

Lynette
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun May 28, 2017 3:21 pm

Re: No one to talk to

Post by Lynette »

Thankyou for replying I swear iv seen more babies these last few weeks than ever before it's like torture xxx

Rainbowlasskc
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2017 3:24 am

Re: No one to talk to

Post by Rainbowlasskc »

Hi Lynette, I had my ectopic removed 2 weeks today. Haven't slept much at all and built a wall about how I felt. I'd been working from home and went out today for the first time since god knows when and all the way to my work and back all I saw is babies so I know how you are feeling and if you need to chat then I'm here. I cried for the first time this morning and can't close the gates. I hope you feel even slightly better soon but your not alone in your journey xx

Lynette
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun May 28, 2017 3:21 pm

Re: No one to talk to

Post by Lynette »

Thankyou xxx iv not cried yet I'm too angry 3weeks on n everyone else has carried on as normal HELLO I'm still here still struggling to get a grip I now feel less of a woman so tired all the time it is so horrible u loose baby tube full of scar reminders grrrrrrr if u need to chat I'm here for u too thank god for this forum xxx

Rainbowlasskc
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2017 3:24 am

Re: No one to talk to

Post by Rainbowlasskc »

I know how you feel. I offered to work from home to prevent a temp coming in but I put too much on me I was working from home a week after it happened. I am now not doing it cause I need my head cleared. You are not less of a woman at all and will be able to have a baby in the future my friend suffered an ectopic and had a baby in January and she is wonderful. I was the one saying I was fine and everyone around me was telling me I'd had some major surgery my heart almost stopped during my surgery as well but I've been blocking it out. I'm told things get easier and don't worry if you've not cried I never thought I would and now I can't stop it all completely normal x

dlm08
Posts: 31
Joined: Fri Apr 28, 2017 8:30 pm
Location: USA

Re: No one to talk to

Post by dlm08 »

I'm almost three months post-op now, and I can say it did get easier for me once I realized that it was totally okay for me to have all the emotions I was feeling even if I couldn't explain them. Mostly I went back and forth between anger and sadness but I also needed to allow myself to feel relieved that I was okay and thankful that I had survived this ordeal. I think that was so hard because I felt guilty and selfish for feeling that way but realizing that all of my emotions were valid was a huge, positive turning point for me as I recovered. And yes, I couldn't agree more, I'm so thankful for this forum.

LozDex
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:28 pm

Re: No one to talk to

Post by LozDex »

Hi, I have just come across this website and so glad I have stumbled onto this page. I had an ectopic pregnancy confirmed two weeks ago, received the methotrexate injection and then ruptured the day after and had emergency surgery removing one of my tubes also. I was really poorly and lost 2.5 litres of blood - three blood transfusions and I am lucky to be here... yet I feel so alone (despite having had lots of visitors, texts and phone calls). I just don't understand how things are ever gonna get back to normal.

I hope by sharing you know there is someone else out there too I was amazed to find this forum.

SinaM
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon May 15, 2017 2:04 pm

Re: No one to talk to

Post by SinaM »

Hi!
I had my ectopic 5 weeks ago I was carrying twins, one was in the womb one in tube I lost both of them. it's been hard to cope I don't even know who I am any more. I feel like I'm just dragging myself through life, and my partner just doesn't understand.

LozDex
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:28 pm

Re: No one to talk to

Post by LozDex »

Hi Sina,

That must be really difficult. My partner is the same we have argued again tonight :cry: Things just aren't right and don't even have the energy to try and figure it out.

Have you got anyone else you can talk too?

Lynette
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun May 28, 2017 3:21 pm

Re: No one to talk to

Post by Lynette »

Hi everyone I think that unless you have been through this u just don't understand! No matter how hard ppl try u still push them away thinking what do u no? How do you know how I feel? Yes it's hard but like some of you said the outcome could of been very different we could of died the worst thing for me was the hospital asking what I would like to do with the tube 1-dispose 2-take home 3-use for medical science I snapped back saying why would I want it use it for science if there's a chance of preventing some other poor lady going through this but then they came to see me the following morning for discharge and without warning showed me the picture of my tube n she said there's the mass (baby) I said that's my baby you are referring to you could see the foetus body shape in a little bubble now I feel guilty I refused to take her/him home but I think tht would of been harder for my recovery but I don't know!!!! Always her for any one of u xxx xx

Rainbowlasskc
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Jun 05, 2017 3:24 am

Re: No one to talk to

Post by Rainbowlasskc »

They asked me the same question as I was being wheeled into surgery but after we passed the point I had my partner to help me. It must have been horrible they showed you a photo and seemed so heartless about it. I can't imagine how that made you feel. X

Lynette
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun May 28, 2017 3:21 pm

Re: No one to talk to

Post by Lynette »

It was horrible to see the little motionless baby can't erase the picture n the guilt is still raw xxxxx

EPT Host 20
Posts: 2273
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: No one to talk to

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Lynette,
Firstly apologies for not responding sooner, I have been away for a short time.
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss and the difficult time you have been going through.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal as you have seen from the very kind replies you have received.
I truly understand how difficult it felt seeing your baby on the scan picture, but please try not to feel guilty, there is no right or wrong way to deal with everything we experience. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

We are all here for you for as long as you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x

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Redroof
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2017 1:26 am

Re: No one to talk to

Post by Redroof »

Lynette, they showed me a very clear colour picture of my before and after tubes and uterus too, I can't even remember the after one, just the one looking like a fat raw sausage splitting under a grill, I can't believe they didn't ask first before putting that in my face. I can't fault the doctors and nurses otherwise and I opted for donation to medical science too as what's the point of anything else, and what else can you think while you're pumped full of drugs and barely there or able to speak or make any decisions? I know you wrote this a while ago now and were feeling very angry at the time and I feel angry too, at everything. And a multitude of other emotions. My friends have been as supportive as they can but I do feel alone, and I'm glad to be able read things on here even if we're not all in the exact same positions. A few nights after I was home I made the mistake of googling what a foetus at that stage looks like, I knew it was a bad idea but I needed to know. Not sure what to say about that really. I hope time is helping you heal or that you've found help talking to someone. I've had bad experiences with counsellors in the past but now have one that I love and wouldn't be without, not that it solves everything, but it is a good release and 'check' of yourself. I was so angry during an argument with my selfish partner the other day that I ended up smashing the toilet lid with my bare hand. I have never been violent in my life and it came as a surprise. Smashed it into 3 pieces and cut my wrist. It didn't really help if I'm honest and now need to pay for a new lid and I stink of Germoline. Feel stupid and a bit of a wreck. Sending hugs to you. X

Lynette
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun May 28, 2017 3:21 pm

Re: No one to talk to

Post by Lynette »

Thank you red roof, yh still find it hard at times well there's this selfish girl at work who's just found out she's pregnant and has decided to starve herself to get the attention of the father so I flipped my lid as she has a choice and I didn't xx

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