I don't really know what to think or what to do. My head is all over the place, I guess I'm just searching for people to talk to who understands. My Dad is terminally ill, has two months left to live... Words can't describe the heartache and pain I was in. But me and partner were given a gift, after everything we were going through. We fell pregnant, we were utterly overwhelmed and ecstatic.
However, it was soon discovered that something was wrong. HCG was rising, but not enough. There was pain and bleeding. My heart had sunk yet again. Was I losing my baby? Worse, I had to chose to end my baby's life and go through an operation to save myself? I don't care about that. My heads a mess and tomorrow morning it's all going to end. I don't know what to say to my partner, I don't even know what to think. I have hit rock bottom.
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Diagnosed Eptopic - Heartbroken
-
EPT Host 20
- Posts: 3168
- Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm
Re: Diagnosed Eptopic - Heartbroken
Dear Clo3,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
It is such a difficult and confusing time and you are also coping with your dad's terminal illness. I am so sorry and I wish I could take this pain away for you.
From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. You have not chosen to end your babies life, ectopic pregnancy is a medical emergency and medical staff acted in your best interests.
Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.
After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Also if you are feeling very low the charity Samaritans would be more than happy to talk to you or do see your GP as a matter of urgency and describe exactly how you are feeling.
Many women contact the Trust as they feel isolated and at rock bottom, I did too. With the support from the Trust and counseling, I began to understand what had happened. There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault. I do believe you have alot going on at the moment though and I would suggest speaking to someone as a soon as possible.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
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If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
**********************************************************************************************
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
It is such a difficult and confusing time and you are also coping with your dad's terminal illness. I am so sorry and I wish I could take this pain away for you.
From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. You have not chosen to end your babies life, ectopic pregnancy is a medical emergency and medical staff acted in your best interests.
Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.
After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.
We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/
Also if you are feeling very low the charity Samaritans would be more than happy to talk to you or do see your GP as a matter of urgency and describe exactly how you are feeling.
Many women contact the Trust as they feel isolated and at rock bottom, I did too. With the support from the Trust and counseling, I began to understand what had happened. There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault. I do believe you have alot going on at the moment though and I would suggest speaking to someone as a soon as possible.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
**********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
**********************************************************************************************
