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Struggling

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Chloe88
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Mar 12, 2019 10:13 am

Struggling

Post by Chloe88 »

Hello everyone,

I discovered I was pregnant with my second ectopic two weeks before Christmas. Luckily this was able to be treated with methotrexate as my first ectopic led me to a ruptured Fallopian tube & then the removal of an ovary due to complications.

My partner & I had been trying for nearly two years when the 2nd pregnancy occurred. My remaining ovary is enlarged & very polycystic so we never expected to get pregnant again naturally. Although it now means my remaining tube is possibly scarred now.

My grief this time is just terrible. I’m grieving for my loss, my partners loss & my current situation of just not knowing whether I’m ever going to be able to conceive naturally or at all.

I know I need to be more positive, it’s just so hard at the moment.

Xx

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3175
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Struggling

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Chloe88,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. To experience one loss is difficult to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you. You are grieving for your losses and when we experience ectopic pregnancy, we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.

You will need space to process what has happened and it can feel isolating. With us here at the Trust, we have been through similar experiences and I can understand how lonely it feels. You have friends here and please do continue to lean on us for as long as you need. We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services
The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Please be kind to yourself, allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally. There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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