Hi,
Less than 2 weeks ago I went to A&E after having bleeding. After lots of blood tests over a few days the hospital confirmed I have an ectopic pregnancy. My HCG levels kept going up so a week ago I had to have a Methotrexate injection. First hcg test after that went up and next one is tomorrow (fingers crossed it goes down). (The hospital have been amazing!)
This was my first pregnancy and I am desperate to a mum. Emotionally I am just about coping, I’m off work and today was the first day I’ve managed to see people with babies and not want to cry my eyes out.
However, my sister was due to give birth in 3 weeks but her waters have gone today and so my second niece is due to be born imminently.
I had hoped that I’d be through my treatment (my hcg is very low as it is) and have some time to recover before my sister had her baby but it seems that just isn’t the case.
I feel so mixed as I should be so happy about my niece but I feel this mix of emotions and I’m just so worried that it’s going to hugely set back my mental recovery.
Has anyone been in this position? Any advice?
I had thought I’d be ok without counselling but I’m now thinking that it might be a good idea.
Thanks
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Ectopic pregnancy but sister having baby
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EPT Host 20
- Posts: 3175
- Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm
Re: Ectopic pregnancy but sister having baby
Dear rcmitch,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It's what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us "bad" people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
**************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It's what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us "bad" people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.
Sending much love,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
**************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************
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LindsayV7110
- Posts: 1
- Joined: Thu May 30, 2019 2:26 am
Re: Ectopic pregnancy but sister having baby
I am so sorry you are going through this! You and I have very similar circumstances. My husband and i have been trying for 3 years. We had a miscarriage in September and i just had my methotrexate injection this morning for an ectopic pregnancy. All i have ever wanted in life was to be a mother. After my miscarriage in September, not one but two of my sisters fell pregnant. One is due in 2 weeks the other in 5. All I want is to be happy for them, but I also feel so much hate and envy of the fact that they have what I desire more than anything in life..all on accident. I will pray that things get easier for you. I know how you feel seeing mother and new mothers and babies. I cry everyday. I never thought life could be so cruel. Good luck, I wish you nothing but the best and send love and good vibes your way!
