A poem about my experience

[Princessjo25]

Hi there

I hope you don't mind me posting this here. 3 weeks ago I was excited about my 6 week 5 day scan, nervous also as we had a miscarriage in October last year. Sadly they found one empty sac and a baby in my left tube, still growing with a strong heartbeat.

Fast forward to today and I am slowly healing from the wounds of surgery that save my life but left me grieving the loss of 2 very special babies. While trying to process my emotions I wrote this poem that I'd like to share.
.............

The hardest day

We've been counting down the days, the weeks
Excited and nervous, wanting a peak
The room is dark, she prods & she pokes
It seems like forever since she last spoke

Her face is solemn, she turns to us
I'm sorry, baby's not in your uterus
It's in your tube, seems it got stuck
I'm sorry, this is such awful luck

A heartbeat is seen, our baby's alive
Again 'I'm sorry, it won't survive'
An ambulance will take you to A&E
To confirm what I've found, you'll need surgery

The baby you love, your answered wish
Is a ticking time bomb, your life is at risk
The ambulance comes and soon we arrive
At the place we'll last see our baby alive

Cannula's here and blood draws there
Last food, last drink, questions everywhere
Repeating myself for each question asked
Couldn't you just ask the one who asked last?

The doctors and nurses come and they go
More scans are needed, there maybe some hope
Another dark room, more prodding, more pain
There was another baby, lost we don't know when

On the screen comes an image, a flicker of light
Our baby's heart beating, an incredible sight
But joy turns to anguish as the doc turns to say
Ectopic confirmed, we'll take tube and baby away

Emotions dispensed, all clinical now
Get you out of your clothes and into a gown
A quick kiss goodbye, both brokenhearted
My loved one must go, it's time we are parted

'I'm sorry' I whisper to my baby still here
I wish I could save you and keep you my dear
Then the mask hits my face and I start to drift off
When I wake up my little one will be lost

Waking to pain, grief and fear all together
Life won't be the same, it's changed forever
Our babies are gone, we were torn apart
But they'll always be with us, right here in our hearts

..........

For everyone who has experienced this horrific loss, my thoughts and love are with you.

XX

PJ

[Pipb]

Beautiful, sending love and hugs xxx

[EPT Host 20]

Dear princessjo25,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and losses,
To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.
Your poem is written absolutely beautiful, thank you so much for sharing.
There is no timeframe for recovery. Please be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.
We are here for you whenever you need,
Love
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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