I lost my left ovary and Fallopian tubes last year January to cancer ( started as a cysts that kept growing in size and had ** section to remove the cyst ) this is my 2nd C section , then a couple months later the remaining ovary started getting cyst then had another laparoscopic surgery to remove the cyst and make sure it was not cancer cells forming . That came back clear . Then just 4 months later in January this year I had a ruptured cyst that sent me straight to the hospital in agonizing pain. I then feel pregnant after months of stressing if I would ever be able to fall pregnant or how long it would have taken given all the surgeries and trauma I’ve gone through . But in February I fell pregnant , not planned but such a huge blessing and I was excited and overwhelmed it was happening and all my fear about falling pregnant were at ease now and then I went for my scan to find out it was an ectopic pregnancy and I had to either take methotrexate to try dissolve the fetus or surgery . Surgery was high risk as I could loose my remaining ovary and tube so I chose the methotrexate even tho my BCG WAS 5000 , doctor thought it was worth a try and it works and we avoid surgery . 4 days later on the first dose my BCG went to 18000 so I had an emergency surgery which was another C section . I was heartbroken, sad , depressed , angry all the emotions I could have felt I felt hard . I had just lost something I fear for so long . My relationship has taken a knock and he isn’t very patient or understand of it all and I’m so angry that I can’t bare to be around him becos he doesn’t understand what I’m emotionally going through.
It’s been 9weeks since my surgery and I landed up again in hospital with sharp stabbing pain in my abdominal, no amount of morphine they have helped so I was admitted for 2 days in hospital to be monitored. At this stage we don’t know what’s going on and I’m emotionally drained and finished .
I then saw another doctor to do GNC scope so we can see what’s going on in the colon and stomach.
After a sonar they picked up I have another 5cm cysts on my right ovary and at this point we can not operate as I have just been thru too much and my body is so weak and emotionally I will just break down. We have run cancer markers for the ovarian cyst and did biopsy from the GNC .
The wait is hard it’s so emotional .
I have just gone through the loss of a baby I didn’t get to hold or see or touch to more health concerns.
I just had surgery and not even a month later a 5cm cysts , so at this point if it doesn’t disappear and continues to grow I’ll be on my 6th operation in the last 18months .
I really fear I won’t be a mommy or have a baby if this ovary continues to grow cysts .
I just feel like I can’t win and when I get up and fight and be strong something keeps knocking me down.
I don’t know how to feel or how to be strong anymore
It’s been a rough road since my ectopic and it just seems to be getting tougher . I want to heal and start trying but I’m afraid and terrified .
