Hi everyone,
This is my first time posting...
I am recovering from surgery to remove my baby and Fallopian tube just over a week ago.
One of the biggest feelings that I am struggling with is the overwhelming guilt that my baby was alive when it was removed from me. I’m a pragmatic person and know that the baby would never have survived and probably would have killed me, however, my role as mummy was to protect my baby and feel I didn’t do that.
Does this pain get any easier?
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The feeling of guilt
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EPT Host 20
- Posts: 3168
- Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm
Re: The feeling of guilt
Dear Kimcalister31,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. This is one feeling I truly suffered from too. However there really isn't anything you could have done to prevent your ectopic pregnancy.
Feelings of loss and guilt are very normal at this stage and the old saying that time can be a healer is certainly true. We are here to talk through your feelings anytime and if you start to feel overwhelmed, please speak to your GP.
Above all, be kind to yourself, allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.
I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
**************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. This is one feeling I truly suffered from too. However there really isn't anything you could have done to prevent your ectopic pregnancy.
Feelings of loss and guilt are very normal at this stage and the old saying that time can be a healer is certainly true. We are here to talk through your feelings anytime and if you start to feel overwhelmed, please speak to your GP.
Above all, be kind to yourself, allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.
I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame. Please be kind to yourself and I send you gentle hugs.
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
**************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************
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Kmcalister31
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Tue Jul 30, 2019 10:58 am
Re: The feeling of guilt
Thank you for your reply Karen.
I know you are right and I just need to give this time. I think I have just been overthinking everything so much over the past 2 weeks as part of my attempt to process what has happened.
I have started to write my thoughts down and feel like this is helping. I’m also seeking some counselling sessions which I think will be really good for me.
Thanks k x
I know you are right and I just need to give this time. I think I have just been overthinking everything so much over the past 2 weeks as part of my attempt to process what has happened.
I have started to write my thoughts down and feel like this is helping. I’m also seeking some counselling sessions which I think will be really good for me.
Thanks k x
Re: The feeling of guilt
Hi kim
I had my operation on the 23rd July after finding out the day before. I like yourself self gulity and had so many same feelings. I felt gulity but I know I did the right thing as I had ruptured so it could have killed me. First two weeks I felt horrible my anxiety got really bad and I felt Sad down everything its only this last week I've felt better and hopefully this carrys on. Please don't feel bad this is something us as women can't control
I had my operation on the 23rd July after finding out the day before. I like yourself self gulity and had so many same feelings. I felt gulity but I know I did the right thing as I had ruptured so it could have killed me. First two weeks I felt horrible my anxiety got really bad and I felt Sad down everything its only this last week I've felt better and hopefully this carrys on. Please don't feel bad this is something us as women can't control
