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Feeling frustrated

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Joined: Wed Sep 04, 2019 2:15 pm

Feeling frustrated

Post by tallbutterfly2 »

I had my ectopic pregnancy removed by emergency laparoscopic salpingectomy about 6 weeks ago now and I am still not physically or emotionally recovered. I had 2 weeks off and work were supportive putting me on light duties. I had picked up some sort of cough/cold which is unusual for me as my immune system is normally incredible but was then signed off for another week as I started to bleed heavy again and was experiencing some pain - the bleeding passed with a large clot (sorry TMI) and pain is just twinges on and off now, GP & hospital are not concerned. After returning to work again I had to call in sick after coming down with a bad fever and infection like symptoms, still lingering now, this is adding to my upset as i just want to feel well and i am so frustrated at my own body :( I thought i accepted the situation and had the 'it is what it is' mindset but the past few weeks i have been horrible to live with! I feel like no one around me actually understands and I feel so isolated and hurt, i don't feel like speaking or seeing anyone etc, i have no energy or time for anything and i feel alone without physically being alone! All i want to do is cry and sleep! What is going on/wrong with me? I have lots of friends at the moment who are pregnant or have just given birth also and my feelings of happiness for them has turned to jealousy and more tears which i then feel guilty for! I want to get back to feeling my confident, outgoing-self, exercise, eat well and just generally be okay but i feel like i am stuck in a rut. This pregnancy wasn't planned and we are living with my parents currently as i am returning to education for 3 years soon, so i can accept that now isn't the right time or very feasible but my whole heart wants to sack everything in and try again now, i am heartbroken :(
I was wandering if anyone else feels this way or what they find helps them. I have appt with dr tomorrow regarding vaccinations etc as my immune system is obviously low, but feel stupid keep phoning them to be told they are not worried and i have to ride it out - i feel stupid even writing this, sorry for the long post, but i am hoping this is a step in the right direction :(

EPT Host 22
Posts: 349
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:26 am

Re: Feeling frustrated

Post by EPT Host 22 »

Hi tallbutterfly2,

My heart aches for all you are going through. Please know you are not stupid in any way for these emotions or for anything you have shared. These boards are filled with women and men who have expressed similar feelings and who continue to recover from their experiences of ectopic pregnancies. These boards are a safe space for you to share, to ask questions, or just to vent. We are here for you.

I want you to know there is nothing you did to cause or could do to prevent an ectopic pregnancy. What you have just been through is both a physical and emotional trauma, and it affects us in ways we cannot possibly know until we have gone through it. Many women on these boards have shared stories of their continuing physical and emotional effects, and their frustration at "just wanting to get back to normal". There is no set timeframe or standard course of recovery. Each woman does it in her own time and own way. While we won't forget our experiences, what I can say is that over time, day by day, things start to feel more normal.

What you are experiencing in regards to seeing other pregnant women and babies is completely natural as well. We can feel happy for their experiences, but also grieve what we have lost at the same time. It does not make us bad people at all. I found that journaling some of my thoughts helped me to understand my own emotions, organize my thoughts and then, later, communicate them with my loved ones

Sometimes these feelings are hard to communicate with others, and for that reason, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can help the healing process. We operate a helpline service, and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely, and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too if you prefer that route.

Also, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help, and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services. The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too:

No matter what, we are here for you whenever you need. Please know you are not alone and take all the time you need to look after yourself and recover.

With good wishes,


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