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1 year later

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TieraSS
Posts: 16
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:40 am

1 year later

Post by TieraSS »

I guess I just need some room to vent.
A space to get my feelings involved without feeling judged. Without feeling like I should be over or past this from my boyfriend, friends, and family.
Because I'm not and it's not fair that I feel labeled due to the fact that the people that claim to love me don't know how to just be [censored word] supportive. I was told last week that I needed to be put on anxiety and depression medication when all I need is for someone to sit there and listen. Not put their two cents in or where they think I should be at in terms of my time to grieve.

EPT Host 20
Posts: 1592
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: 1 year later

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear TieraSS,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. Thank you so much for having the courage to talk about how you feel and contacting the Trust. I too suffered in silence following my ectopic pregnancy. It took me two years to be honest and face my feelings.
Although well meaning, my friends and family didn't truly understand how I felt, and like you, I reached out to the Trust. I found comfort in reading other people's posts. People understood how I felt and I didn't feel so alone.

I was also advised that although my feelings, like yours were completely normal, hanging onto those feelings does not help us recover. I went for counselling as advised, and in time learnt that we will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling. We have information on our website about finding counselling services.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and I will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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TieraSS
Posts: 16
Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2018 1:40 am

Re: 1 year later

Post by TieraSS »

Thank you.
I will call.
I may try counseling again. When i was referred by my doctor's office the first time, I loathed it. The therapist spoke over me the entire time. She didn't actually listen to what I had to say about how I was feeling and that's what a lot of people I come in contact with do. It was my first pregnancy so it hurts more because I really wanted that baby. And people can't seem to understand that. Which is why I've suffered in silence for so long outside of this group. I'm very thankful for you all. The US doesn't have anything for ectopic pregnancy at all.

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