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Eptopic tx and my surgery

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Bld1
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2019 6:42 pm

Eptopic tx and my surgery

Post by Bld1 »

Well it was not until I had severe pain in my left abdominal area that I knew something was seriously wrong. I had an IUD so my mind didnt even go to pregnancy. I went to my doctor and he said that I should go for ultrasound and get some blood and urine. Urine came back negative for pregnancy and nobody could get me in for ultrasound. The pain went away that evening so I never went to emerge, but then a week later I still hadn't heard back from my doctor so I decided to make an appointment to get my results as they had come back from the blood work. After waiting a while my doctor sat me down and told me flat out that I was pregnant. The shock was Unreal but what followed was even crazier. He said because of my IUD there was a large chance it was an ectopic pregnancy. I was rushed to McMaster and they found out hours later that it was eptopic. We had no choice but to treat with methotrexate which was working well as I was going back for regular blood test until 10 days later. I felt a weird crampy pain on my left side again but this time it wasn't severe and I was discounting the cramping. I'm so glad I didn't listen to my head and went with my heart as my fallopian tube had ruptured and I needed emergency surgery. 8 weeks later I'm still not quite right but healing well. I think the emotional aspect of this is the worst. I didn't even want kids before this happened, hence the IUD. But here I am a mess around children now and I don't even know what I want. Not having kids was always something I was very sure about but this type of trauma has its way of changing your mind. I feel like the only thing that's helped me is by simply talking about it and with others that have had ectopic pregnancies so here I am posting my story. I hope that it can help someone else in the same situation as its a horrible thing to go through. I'm sure time will help heal but for now it's still rough.

Bld1
Posts: 20
Joined: Thu Oct 03, 2019 6:42 pm

Re: Eptopic tx and my surgery

Post by Bld1 »

Also, I feel like everyone around me is now pregnant and they're due dates are so close to when mine would have been. This is such a heartbreaking feeling knowing that my baby will never be and never had a chance from the beginning. Sometimes life teaches you things through the pain and I think I've learnt something but it still doesn't make it any easier. I also feel like I can't be there for my friends who are pregnant as it's just too painful to see them and hear about their stories of what's going on with the excitement of their new chapter. I didn't ask for this and I never wanted kids but now all I can think of is this baby who I'll never meet.

EPT Host 22
Posts: 659
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:26 am

Re: Eptopic tx and my surgery

Post by EPT Host 22 »

Hi Bld1,

I am so sorry to hear you've suffered this ectopic pregnancy and loss. We can never be prepared for how we will feel following a trauma such as this one. While we may begin to heal physically, there are still emotions which we will need to sort through as we recover. Your loss is still recent, and it's very natural for emotions to surface at different times.

We must grieve for the life we won't have, even if we weren't sure we wanted it. We mourn our losses, and it can make it challenging to be around pregnancy. We can also feel happy for our friends, while at the same time feeling sad about our losses. I too had many friends and family becoming pregnant around the time of my losses. It was a challenge. I found that journaling helped me to collect my thoughts, well enough that I could begin to express them to my partner and close friends.

However, the Trust is also a believer in the power of talking-therapies, and we offer a helpline (with contact number below), or you can email us. As well, you may want to inquire with your GP about referrals to a therapist. It can be so beneficial to speak to someone who can help us hold and contain our emotions.

You have been through massive trauma. These boards are a safe space for you and are filled with women and men who, unfortunately, have shared in a similar experience. We are here for you for as long as you need.

With good wishes,


Michele


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