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Just seeking someone similar...
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- Posts: 3
- Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:17 pm
Just seeking someone similar...
I’m 21, the pregnancy was a complete accident but ectopic. I found out in the early pregnancy unit, I later ruptured in hospital, but survived as I was plopped on the surgery table soon after (the NHS are worth their weight in gold). I had a Salpingectomy, removing my left Fallopian tube. It was very late at night, so my surgeon came to see me the following morning. She told me that I had 1/2 a litre of blood in my body because of the rupture, which wasn’t the worst of the news. She then told me that I should try to avoid naturally conceiving as if I have another pregnancy it will be ectopic. I, unknowingly, have had pelvic inflammatory disease causing major abrasions over my womb and my (now remaining) Fallopian tube to be very disfigured and full of kinks (causing the ectopic pregnancy). Further tests would have to be conducted to see if I could grow a baby in my womb via IVF, but unlikely due to the inflammatory disease. The whole situation from start to finish was horrifyingly scary and quick.
Being 21 and told that I can’t have children has brought great sadness to my life. I never planned on wanting babies as I’m very career focussed, but now that opportunity has been taken away from me, I feel very sad and emotionally empty. I’m thankful to be alive, of course, and it helped me realise that I need to stop holding onto poor friendships and toxic familial relationships as well as realising that I need to slow down and stop trying to fill my mind with a million projects that I take on. My life was nearly taken away from me at 21 by a complete accident. It wasn’t until the nurses told me that this could be so serious that I realised I’d been living my life at 100 miles an hour, trying to work hard and focus whilst ignoring the pain in my left side for two days. It was only because I decided to call 111 that I’m still here. The fear in my mum’s, best friend’s and boyfriend’s face as I screamed the ward down in pain as I ruptured is something I’ll never forget.
I’m a mixture of shock, sadness, anger, despair and constant fear. I hope this all makes sense. I just want someone, who has experienced something similar, to say they understand.
Thanks so much for reading.
Xx
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- Posts: 3176
- Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm
Re: Just seeking someone similar...
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss, whether the pregnancy was planned or not, it doesn't detract from the shock or sadness we may experience. From your own words, I understand what a frightening experience this must have been for you and I'm so sorry you have had to go through this.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
When you do feel ready to try to conceive, I would advise speaking to your GP who can refer you to fertility specialists who will be able to advise you further.
We will be here for you as long as you need,
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
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If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
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- Posts: 3
- Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2019 6:17 pm
Re: Just seeking someone similar...
Thank you so much for your kind words and words of reassurance and encouragement. I feel strange as my situation is different to others in the sense that I’m young, this was unplanned and I never planned for babies/saw them as part of my future. I feel like a strange anomaly. Of course, I am not here to tell others’ story’s, but the lady in the bed next to me was devastated over her loss because hers was planned and she was married and that was her life course... I think that my situation adds elements of confusion to my emotion because not only was the ectopic a surprise, but the pregnancy too!EPT Host 20 wrote:Dear sunflowerpaters,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss, whether the pregnancy was planned or not, it doesn't detract from the shock or sadness we may experience. From your own words, I understand what a frightening experience this must have been for you and I'm so sorry you have had to go through this.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.
When you do feel ready to try to conceive, I would advise speaking to your GP who can refer you to fertility specialists who will be able to advise you further.
We will be here for you as long as you need,
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x
The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
**************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************
But again, thank you so so much. I will be forever grateful for this trust. It was this trust’s information pack that was given to me as soon as they told me I was having an ectopic pregnancy that required surgery.
Xx
Re: Just seeking someone similar...
Re: Just seeking someone similar...
Because if you stuck in it, it'll be difficult to start normal life again. Give time to yourself.
Wish you all the best.