By registering on our forum, you can view and contribute to more topics on ectopic pregnancy. Your details are confidential and we do not send unsolicited emails. For your confidentiality, you can choose your own forum name to protect your anonymity if you so wish. If you register, there is no obligation to post; you can simply take comfort from the words of others. It is entirely up to you whether you post a message or read others' experiences or do both.

First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
To keep this as a safe space, before being able to post freely, an administrator will need to activate your account and authorise your first post.
Post Reply
Xxciaraxx
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 10:26 pm

First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by Xxciaraxx »

Hi all so this was my first pregnancy and I was about 7/8 weeks gone, went for an early scan last Friday, no baby was found so that led to a trip to a and e an then scans at the EPU. Confirmed Etopic in my right tube , surgery on Wednesday, tube removed and now I'm at home recovering . I really don't know where to start :(

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear xxciaraxx,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.

You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

You will need space to process what has happened and it can feel isolating. With us here at the Trust, we have been through similar experiences and can understand how lonely it feels. You have friends here and please do continue to lean on us for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811

**************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************

Xxciaraxx
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 10:26 pm

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by Xxciaraxx »

Thanks Karen I appreciate your reply xx

Sarahd_6
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Dec 09, 2019 9:35 pm

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by Sarahd_6 »

Hi Ciara,
How are you? I hope you’re recovering well. You replied to my original post so I thought I would send you an update.
Unfortunately my day 7 bloods showed by hcg had continued to rise so I was admitted to hospital where they removed my right tube. I’m recovering physically well, but emotionally it is taking some time. It’s so much to understand and process and no one really knows what you’re going through.
If you would ever like my support, I’m always here xx

Meggers44
Posts: 11
Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2019 5:28 am

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by Meggers44 »

My first pregnancy (7wks) was ectopic too. I had surgery at the beginning of December and lost my right tube. I'm 3 weeks post-op and physically I've improved a tonne. It is super hard to sleep and emotionally I think I'm getting worse. Still trying to process everything.

The main thing that has helped me has been talking to one of my friends who had a miscarriage. Talking to someone who understands your pain and will vent with you is amazingly helpful.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in what you experienced and it is definitely okay to feel lost after a traumatic event like what we've gone through.

cka
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2020 9:35 am

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by cka »

Hi everyone,

I also had my first pregnancy (nearly 6weeks) turn out to be ectopic and had surgery to remove my left tube on Friday 13th. It was all such a whirlwind, everything happens so fast. I had heard the word ectopic but had very little understanding that this was something that could happen.

Just feels very unlucky. I'm sorry you have had to go through this too, and hope you have lots of support around you. I don't know what I would have done without my husband and mum helping me after surgery with sitting up, showering and putting socks on - it is really major. I am doing much better nearly 3 weeks later but am still very slow walking and can't go far which I am finding frustrating.

Wishing you all healing, it is somehow a comfort to be able to share with people going through the same thing.

Xxciaraxx
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 10:26 pm

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by Xxciaraxx »

Sarahd_6 wrote:Hi Ciara,
How are you? I hope you’re recovering well. You replied to my original post so I thought I would send you an update.
Unfortunately my day 7 bloods showed by hcg had continued to rise so I was admitted to hospital where they removed my right tube. I’m recovering physically well, but emotionally it is taking some time. It’s so much to understand and process and no one really knows what you’re going through.
If you would ever like my support, I’m always here xx
Hi Sarah,

You must think I'm so rude that I have not replied to this! I don't think I received any notifications that you had replied.

On a whole I am "ok" today was my first week back at work after 5 weeks off. It's almost finishing time and I am shattered. I'm still in shock at what happened and so devastated I lost my baby, it would have been my 12 week scan today. Physically my scars have healed up.

I'm so sorry to hear that you also lost your right tube. Perhaps we could try and support each other? How are you feeling now? do you think you will try again at some point?

Sending you love

xx

Xxciaraxx
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 10:26 pm

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by Xxciaraxx »

Meggers44 wrote:My first pregnancy (7wks) was ectopic too. I had surgery at the beginning of December and lost my right tube. I'm 3 weeks post-op and physically I've improved a tonne. It is super hard to sleep and emotionally I think I'm getting worse. Still trying to process everything.

The main thing that has helped me has been talking to one of my friends who had a miscarriage. Talking to someone who understands your pain and will vent with you is amazingly helpful.

I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in what you experienced and it is definitely okay to feel lost after a traumatic event like what we've gone through.
Hi Meggers,

So sorry I am just seeing your reply now! I'm so sorry to hear that you also lost your right tube, looks like we unfortunately have a lot in common :cry: I have been in touch with a few people who have gone through similar situations and it does help but that horrible feeling of loss is still there. I wish I could just put a plaster on it like I did with my physical scars. Feel free to message me at anytime and we can chat.
xx

Xxciaraxx
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 10:26 pm

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by Xxciaraxx »

cka wrote:Hi everyone,

I also had my first pregnancy (nearly 6weeks) turn out to be ectopic and had surgery to remove my left tube on Friday 13th. It was all such a whirlwind, everything happens so fast. I had heard the word ectopic but had very little understanding that this was something that could happen.

Just feels very unlucky. I'm sorry you have had to go through this too, and hope you have lots of support around you. I don't know what I would have done without my husband and mum helping me after surgery with sitting up, showering and putting socks on - it is really major. I am doing much better nearly 3 weeks later but am still very slow walking and can't go far which I am finding frustrating.

Wishing you all healing, it is somehow a comfort to be able to share with people going through the same thing.
Hi Cka,

Like with the other Ladies, I did not receive a notification that you had commented so sorry about that.

You are right , it's very unlucky :( I have loads of support like you do , my husband and my mum and dad and other family so that has been a major help. Even though I had keyhole surgery it was still severe, also, one of my wounds became infected and that was agony.

Try and take your time with the exercise, don't rush yourself. I started gutting out my bedroom last night and soon regretted it!!!!!! first day back at work today aswell and can't wait to see my bed tonight !

Take care and message me anytime :) x

Xxciaraxx
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Dec 13, 2019 10:26 pm

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by Xxciaraxx »

cka wrote:Hi everyone,

I also had my first pregnancy (nearly 6weeks) turn out to be ectopic and had surgery to remove my left tube on Friday 13th. It was all such a whirlwind, everything happens so fast. I had heard the word ectopic but had very little understanding that this was something that could happen.

Just feels very unlucky. I'm sorry you have had to go through this too, and hope you have lots of support around you. I don't know what I would have done without my husband and mum helping me after surgery with sitting up, showering and putting socks on - it is really major. I am doing much better nearly 3 weeks later but am still very slow walking and can't go far which I am finding frustrating.

Wishing you all healing, it is somehow a comfort to be able to share with people going through the same thing.
Hi CKA, just to let you know, I received your private email thank you! I replied but you might want to check your junk email as that's where mine have been going! xx

LoveandHope88
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2019 9:24 pm

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by LoveandHope88 »

This is the first time I have ever posted on a forum so please bear with me x

I am 31 years old and have been and am still currently going through the most difficult time of my life. It was a surprise when I found out I was pregnant for the first time. My whole life I’ve wanted to be a mum and so far I have had to watch most of those round me gain that privilege. The majority of my friends are now mums and I have been desperate to be part of that ‘group’ for years.
I fell pregnant by my ex partner and first love who I’m not officially back with due to certain circumstances. I shared my pregnancy news with a handful of friends when I found out due to the excitement and nerves. I didn’t tell my family initially as it was a surprise to me let alone them especially when I would tell whom the father was. I wanted to let the news sink in and wait until at least 6 weeks to tell family. However, my whole life changed on Friday 13th December 2019 - I was transferred to EPU from A&E suspecting that I was suffering a miscarriage as I had experienced light, watery bleeding. I went to A&E and EPU on my own as I didn’t want to worry or put on others. I waited anxiously in EPU for that scan never suspecting that it was an Eptopic Pregnancy. During the scan it was confirmed that my pregnancy was eptopic in my right tube (I was 5 weeks 5 days gestation) and that I was to be admitted to hospital for surgery. In brief, I then had to phone my mum to tell her about the pregnancy as well as that I had been admitted to hospital for surgery. I was kept on nil by mouth in hospital all that day only to be told that surgery couldn’t be completed that day and would instead take place the following morning. The surgery took place on the morning of Saturday 14th December 2019 resulting in me losing my baby and my right Fallopian tube. I was and am devastated and so scared for the future. I have never felt so alone and empty. I can’t stop thinking about the baby - whether it was a boy or girl, holding it close to me, loving it and never wanting to hurt or let it go. I’m worried I did something to make the pregnancy eptopic - I have no risk factors but am worried that I squished my tube when sleeping in certain positions. I know that there’s nothing I could of done to change the outcome but the thoughts are still there. To make matters worse, my best friend told me she was pregnant less than 2 weeks after my surgery took place - although I’m over the moon for her I feel sorry for myself having that constant reminder of ‘what if’ and having to watch her through this special time in her life wishing I was going through it at the same time as her. All those pregnancy milestones missed. My baby would have been due 3 weeks before hers. I’m desperate to be a mum and to be honest don’t see the point of life if I don’t become one. I feel like I’ve got less chance now with one less tube even though I’m constantly reassured by healthcare professionals, family and friends that that’s not the case. I feel so angry that this has happened to me. Why me. There are so many people out there who don’t deserve to become parents with how they treat children. This website and forum has given me great comfort knowing that I’m not alone and I want to hug and give comfort to all those on here suffering like me.
I have just had my first period since the surgery (4 weeks after) - it was just like before the pregnancy, completely normal...like nothing ever happened. It’s like my body has reset but my mind hasn’t. Xx

Mags1234
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Dec 18, 2019 10:53 pm

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by Mags1234 »

Hi Loveandhope88,

I also suffered an Ectopic around the same time as you - my surgery took place on 19th December which resulted in loss of left tube and my baby. Like yourself I’m struggling and constantly asking ‘why me’ since I also had no risk factors. Yesterday a colleague who I work closely with told me that she was pregnant and is due 3 weeks before my due date. I feel lost and don’t know who I am anymore and the thought of the future really scares me. As you said it is comforting to know that other people out there are going through the same rollercoaster ride. I wish you all the best in your recovery and please continue to share your feelings and hopefully some responses you may get will lift your spirits

LoveandHope88
Posts: 10
Joined: Sun Dec 29, 2019 9:24 pm

Re: First Pregnancy -Etopic :(

Post by LoveandHope88 »

Hello Mags1234

I’m sorry to hear about your loss and to hear that your also struggling, I understand how you feel x

I’m constantly thinking ‘what if’ there was a way that I could have prevented this from happening to me but I know deep down there wasn’t. Even though I live a healthy lifestyle with no risk factors. I have felt feelings that I have never had before such as jealousy - not a spiteful jealousy but the kind that I wish I was having the baby and sharing ‘happy’ news. The future scares me too but I’m trying to take each day as it comes and not think too far ahead (even though I’m finding this hard).
It’s strange, I feel like there’s an empty space/hole where my right tube once was and I just want to look inside myself to make sure everything is ok and functioning as it should be. Words don’t reassure me enough. I sometimes feel aching there and wonder what’s going on or if there’s something wrong with me but I know that it’s part of the healing process.

Thank you for replying to me, it’s made me feel less alone and isolated x

I wish you all the best with your recovery x

Post Reply