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Looking for help

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Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2020 6:22 am

Looking for help

Post by TormentedPrice »

On the 17th Janurary, I got rushed into hospital after collapsing with bad abdominal pain.

That night I had emergency surgery and my right fallopian tube removed. It was all so quick and really I havent had a chance to process what has actually happened to me.

I found out that it had ruptured and i had been slowly bleeding for days.

I'm unsure of how to move on from this I didnt know I was pregnant and I feel like I've lost apart of myself and am fearful that my chances of conceiving have been taken away from me.

I find myself being very tearful and I cant actually bring myself to say what has happened to me out loud. Has anyone got any ways of coping and moving on from this?

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Joined: Mon Jan 13, 2020 3:31 pm

Re: Looking for help

Post by Laurenelsa1 »

It's such a horrible experience, especially when it's an emergency. I also found it all happening so fast and was in a state of shock for the first week or so after before I even started to come to terms with what had happened. So if it makes you feel at ease in anyway, atleast know that you are not alone and many people on here understand how you are feeling.

For me I have found talking on here really helpful as I'd been bottling a lot of it up. Everyone on here has been so lovely and helpful.

I think it's hard to give advice because it such a personal thing to go through. But give yourself time to heal and love yourself. Remember that you do not have to explain yourself to anyone, you feel how you feel and you will heal in your own time.

I also found it helped to block a few things on social media. You cant stop yourself from seeing anything that may trigger your fears or upset but for me removing certain bloggers and even some friends with a lot of baby posting was a postive choice for me.

I hope you feel better soon
It does get better day by day xxx

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Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2020 2:07 pm

Re: Looking for help

Post by Lia »

Hi sorry to hear of your loss, the same happened to me in December. I cried, didn’t know how I felt, kept looking for answers. The doctors couldn’t tell how far on I was because of the internal bleeding, I found myself keep looking for dates I could have got pregnant etc. I feel time has been the best healer, I’m 6 weeks post surgery, feeling a lot better, not as emotional. These forums are great too it’s good to know your not alone in what has happened, I don’t know anyone who has had an ectopic pregnancy so felt no one really understood how I was feeling. Give yourself time, talk to friends/family and rest plenty, you will get there xx

EPT Host 20
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Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: Looking for help

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear TormentedPrice,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.

You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that's 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.
While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally,
Sending much love,
Karen x

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