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2nd ectopic, heartbroken

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2nd ectopic, heartbroken

Postby Purplestar » Mon Feb 03, 2020 7:54 pm

We suffered out first ectopic in July 2018, aged 34. I'd been worried from day one as I'd had spotting and cramping. Having had a miscarriage in the past I believed it was the same. Until one day I felt I was about to pass out, we went to A&E, once seen within 5 minutes I was in surgery. My right tube had a live 7 week old. Tube was removed along with baby.

Results came back no issues with tubes, no risk factors, left tube looked healthy, unlikely to happen again.

Fast forward to January 2020 age 36, preparing for our wedding next month I started to feel familiar pregnancy symptoms. I was slightly worried as I got a positive mid cycle as I had done the first time. With no pain, no spotting our confidence grew and we were so excited to have this amazing news to take to our wedding.

Our local EPU, thank goodness do encourage self referral for a free early scan after an ectopic. I attended trying to work out if I'll be 4 weeks or 8 weeks depending on the questionable mini period.

The sonogropher stayed silent, she couldn't see anything. She said I might be earlier than I thought. A nurse comes in, to be safe she wanted to take a blood test and I should have returned Saturday for the second one. Friday morning however, I get a call asking me to come straight in. My hcg levels were 7000. I hoped and prayed, and kind of believed really that being such a healthy level, they'd probably missed our little one. 3 different consultants scanned me, eventually they said they were concerned about a possible ectopic on top of my left tube next to the Ovary. But they went sure as it didn't have the usual hallmark sac signs etc.

5 hours later, I wake, I was 8 weeks pregnant. It was high enough in the tube to mean they didn't have to remove it, but they've warned there is a high further risk now due to scarring.

I have an 11 year old DD, I can't bring myself to take the risk to my life to try again, though I feel terrible for dp who doesn't have his own children.

Our surgeon spoke quite positively about chances with Ivf, and an endometrial scratch to hopefully encourage implantation in the right place, I'm hoping one day I'll feel strong enough to take that chance.

For now though, although I know it's not logical I can't shake the feeling that this is some kind of punishment. I dont understand why, or how it could happen twice.

I don't have the guilt that I had first time round, seeing that heart beat went round in my head so many times that my babies life was taken to save mine. This time, I still have a feeling of disbelief, and I just have such a deep sadness, a feeling that that was our last chance.
Purplestar
 
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Re: 2nd ectopic, heartbroken

Postby EPT Host 20 » Mon Feb 03, 2020 9:30 pm

Dear Purplestar,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.
Please allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally. We will be here for support whenever you need us. We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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