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Can anyone relate?

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Can anyone relate?

Postby mariahbee » Sat Feb 08, 2020 6:45 pm

Hey everyone,

I've been told to stay away from online forums and Dr.Google when it comes to recovering from an ectopic, and getting hopes up for future pregnancy. So far I will admit it's been rather disheartening, but I'm finding reading through this forum has helped greatly. The only thing I have a hard time finding information about (and that most people leave out in their experiences of ectopics) is what the cause of the ectopic was in the first place. I know most people are told there is no real cause and it's hard to pinpoint exactly why they happen, but for me it was most definitely because I had undiagnosed chlamydia as a late teen, and being young and naive, it took me years after becoming sexually active to get any STI screening done. My chlamydia went away after the tiny pill they gave me, but I could potentially have been carrying it around for up to 4 years before finding out I had it, which would have been swiftly and silently wreaking havoc on my reproductive organs. I had surgery to remove my right tube after going to the ER at 7 1/2 weeks pregnant with increased bleeding and lower abdominal pain (thought I was having a miscarriage, but it didn't quite feel the same as my previous miscarriage). The surgeon told me she found lots of scar tissue around both my tubes, as well as inflammation around my uterus, and she scraped some scar tissue off my remaining tube in the hopes that it would help my chances of conceiving in the future...

I'm wondering if anyone has any success stories in getting pregnant after an ectopic that they know was caused by scar tissue/damage to their fallopian tubes? I read about people having successful pregnancies after an ectopic all the time, but I can't help but wonder if they are conceiving with damaged tubes or not? I feel like my chances are even less considering the damage thats been done on my innards... and I feel completely at fault for not going to get tested earlier in my teens. It would be nice to hear something positive/hopeful from someone who can relate.

Thanks everyone for braving your experiences and feelings, we need more of that to drown out our hushed conversations on pregnancy loss. My heart goes out to all of you.
mariahbee
 
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Re: Can anyone relate?

Postby EPT Host 20 » Sun Feb 09, 2020 11:25 am

Dear Mariahbee,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss, and also sorry you were told to stay away from information on the internet and I am pleased to hear you have found our site helpful.

Whilst pelvic inflammatory disease such as Chlamydia are know to increase risk of ectopic pregnancy, you cannot blame yourself for not being tested earlier than you were. Many women never find a reason for ectopic pregnancy and although you have had Chlamydia, you cannot be 100% sure this was directly responsible for your ectopic pregnancy.
I know that when I had my ectopic pregnancy I also looked for a reason and almost automatically we tend to blame ourselves. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame.

Trying to conceive again can be a challenging time for couples especially after experiencing loss. While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things.
I wish I could give more precise information, but as I do not have access to your and your partner's medical records, it is difficult for me to provide specific details. Generally, we and many healthcare professionals advise keeping a healthy balanced diet, maintaining a healthy weight and abstaining from alcohol and smoking.
Importantly, help is available if conceiving naturally has not yet been successful after some time trying - and the EPT advises that women under 35 should seek medical advice following 12 months trying to conceive and those over 35 should seek advice after 6 months if in the UK.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

Sending much love,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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