By registering on our forum, you can view and contribute to more topics on ectopic pregnancy. Your details are confidential and we do not send unsolicited emails. For your confidentiality, you can choose your own forum name to protect your anonymity if you so wish. If you register, there is no obligation to post; you can simply take comfort from the words of others. It is entirely up to you whether you post a message or read others' experiences or do both.

Feeling helpless, guilty and lost

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.

Moderators: EPT Host 9, Information@ectopic, EPT Host 8, EPT host 6, EPT Host 11, EPT Host 5, EPT Host 4, EPT Host 2, Feedback@ectopic, epthostseven, EPT Host 3, EPT Host 10

Feeling helpless, guilty and lost

Postby RJ87 » Tue Feb 11, 2020 1:27 pm

This is the first time I'm writing on this forum after experiencing my second ectopic pregnancy which resulted in the removal of my right tube 6 days ago. I always thought I was strong enough to get through situations like this but at after 1 miscarriage and 2 ectopics I'm starting to question my strength.

What makes it harder is, I have a 14 month old little girl who wants her mummy but I physically can't be there for her which floods me with an overwhelming sense of guilt, which has led me to panic attacks.

My husband has been amazing but I feel I'm becoming a burden, asking for things as I I'm able to do them. I know this is hard for him and that also feels me with guilt.

I know I'm only 6 days in, but I'm praying this phase passes quickly, so I can get back to normality and stop feeling lost.

As much as I want to try again in the future for another baby, I am so scared this will happen again. All of my friends around me are having their 2nd or 3rd child, and from a very young age I've always wanted a big family but as I get older I feel that dream is slowly fading.
RJ87
 
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2020 12:59 pm

Re: Feeling helpless, guilty and lost

Postby Rainbow11 » Tue Feb 11, 2020 7:07 pm

Hi,

I just wanted to leave you a message of support. I have also just had my 2nd ectopic and have had previous miscarriages in the past. It’s just heartbreaking.

What your feeling is totally normal. I have felt exactly the same emotions you describe. Please don’t feel guilty because your recovering from an operation and emotional distress as well on top and that does take time to heal. Try to be kind to yourself and give yourself time to grieve. I didn’t do that the first time. I know it’s hard with a little one but maybe try and give yourself a couple of hours to do something nice?

I hope time gives you some healing. I really feel your pain x
Rainbow11
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Feb 11, 2020 4:24 pm

Re: Feeling helpless, guilty and lost

Postby EPT Host 20 » Tue Feb 11, 2020 8:50 pm

Dear RJ87,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.

I understand the desire to get back to normal and also how we feel a burden on our loved ones, however you need time to recover from the ordeal of surgery and the loss of your baby. There is no timeframe for recovery and please take the time you need.

Regarding TTC in the future, as you have experienced multiple losses, could you speak to your GP who may be able to refer you to a fertility expert as and when you feel ready to do so.

For now, be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally. Rainbow11, this also extends to you.

Sending much love,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811

**************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
The latest EPT newsletter is out now! You can take a look at the Winter edition and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************
EPT Host 20
 
Posts: 1531
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm


Return to Main Board

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 5 guests

Medical advice disclaimer

Online medical advice should never be considered a reliable alternative to personal health care. If you have concerns or need advice on a specific problem, please refer to your own doctor and do not wait for a reply from our staff. If you wish to contact the Ectopic Pregnancy Trust direct, email ept@ectopic.org.uk.

Donate

If we have helped you, could you help us with a small donation? We receive no government funding and rely completely on third party fundraising. Every little helps to keep us here for the people who need us.

The Etopic newsletter

Sent quarterly, Etopic is The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust's regular e-newsletter, with insights into the work we do, the charity's activities and how we provide support, raise awareness and support research into ectopic pregnancy.

Read our latest newsletter »