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Trauma, Healing & Trying Again

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
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Ruru1204
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Mar 31, 2020 1:30 pm

Trauma, Healing & Trying Again

Post by Ruru1204 »

Hello everyone,
Last Thurs, my husband and I went for our first ultrasound. We were almost 8 weeks, first try, first baby. The technician wouldn't show me the screen, so I felt something was wrong. We were told to go to emergency asap. From there, it was a nightmare. In a matter of 6 hours, more blood tests, more ultrasound and surgery to remove the baby and my left tube. I feel so empty, traumatized and just sad. I don't know when any of these feelings will pass. I do know that being pregnant for 8 weeks gave us immense joy and something to plan and look forward to. I went from joining mom groups to baby loss groups. Such is life I guess.

I wanted to know if anyone else is or was incredibly scared to try concieving again? My surgery obgyn told us after the surgery that my right tube is healthy. And we did get pregnant the first time I tracked it with a kit. The surgeon also told me I have endometriosis.

-was anyone else too scared to try again?
-what if this happens again?
-were you monitored very closely as soon as you found out you were pregnant?
-do our chances lessen now that I've lost one tube?
-how long did you bleed after surgery?
-when did you know your real period started again? Ovulation?
-did you use an ovulation kit to track?

I apologize for all these questions. Please know that reading these comments has given me some hope in such a sad and disappointing time for my husband and I. Next time, if there ever is, we will wait to plan until after the third trimester. We got too excited too quickly, buying things and planning. Next time we'll have more realistic expectations.

EPT Host 22
Posts: 328
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:26 am

Re: Trauma, Healing & Trying Again

Post by EPT Host 22 »

Hi Ruru1204,

I’m so sorry that you’ve suffered an ectopic pregnancy and loss. It can leave us with many questions and I’ll do my best to help.

Recovery from an ectopic pregnancy can take some time and is very individual. As much as I wish I could give you more certainty, as we are so unique, I am afraid there isn't a timeframe as such. It’s important to remember that there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancy. What I can say is that as the days and weeks pass, you will begin to feel more like yourself again and although the journey may be a bit of a shaky one - some days will be ok, some not so ok - please do be kind to yourself and allow yourself all the time and space that you need to heal.

There is an increased chance of an EP following abdominal surgery, including c-section. However, it's impossible to say whether this was the case. In the UK, the repeat occurrence of an EP is about 10 percent chance, but looking at it another way, there is a 90 percent chance of embryo being in the right place. Importantly, help available to you by booking an early scan around six weeks gestation. You can self-refer and book into the EPU when you are next pregnant.

In regards to trying to conceive, the Trust advises couples to wait at least two full menstrual cycles or three months before trying to conceive again. This is to allow time for your body to heal and emotions to surface and be worked through. However, you can start taking folic acid now. It is recommended to take folic acid for at least 12 weeks prior to conception.

On your fertility, the egg from the tubeless side can be picked up by the other Fallopian tube, and that means that fertility is not halved with having a Fallopian tube removed. Conservative estimates suggest that an egg produced on the tubeless side manages to descend the remaining tube around 15 to 20% of the time. This means that rather than your fertility being halved it has been affected by around 30% or, looking at it another way, it means we have around a 70% opportunity of conception with each menstrual (period) cycle.

It’s very normal to have worries about trying to conceive. Many feel that way; I did and still struggle with it. With future pregnancies, it is possible to have early scans to ensure you have the right help in the beginning. It may provide some comfort to know that it is usually possible to conceive successfully after having an ectopic pregnancy, though the time it generally takes varies considerably from couple to couple. Approximately 65 percent of women are healthily pregnant within 18 months of ectopic pregnancy and some studies show this rises to around 85 percent after two years.

It is very normal to bleed after treatment for ectopic pregnancy. The bleed that occurs in the first week or so of treatment for an ectopic pregnancy is not your first period. It is the bleed that occurs in response to falling hormones associated with the lost pregnancy. Some women find that bleeding and spotting after treatment for ectopic pregnancy can last up to six weeks.

Many women experience changes to their menstrual cycles after an ectopic pregnancy and it can take some time to settle back into a rhythm that is more usual for you. Periods can be heavier or lighter or more painful than before - as we are so individual there isn't necessarily a set pattern. Doctors consider menstrual cycles of between 23-42 days to be within normal parameters and, if you find that you are not within these sorts of timeframes, it would be a good idea to speak to your doctors just to be on the safe side.

We understand how nerve-wracking this all can be. We are here for you, for emotional support too, and these Boards are a safe space for you. We here for as long as you need.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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