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Healing & Anxieties

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
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Tara2
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2020 5:05 pm

Healing & Anxieties

Post by Tara2 »

These last couple of days have been so difficult - 3 weeks post surgery had to do a pregnancy test to confirm it was negative to be discharged from the hospital, the last time we was doing a test we was so happy, excited now feeling lost, hurt, anxious! Wounds still haven’t fully healed , the dissolvable stitches did not want to dissolve so had those removed, looks like there’s a blister in my belly button- it’s just a constant reminder what we have been through, waiting for the first period - trying to anticipate how it might be. Wanting to try again as we really want a baby (when allowed) but terrified if it’s ectopic again , don’t want to risk the one remaining tube. Also, the most difficult part and really personal/sensitive is the decision of what to do with the ashes we’ve collected, it’s so difficult when everyone around you seems to be pregnant and choosing names, Prams etc, very frustrating to see them complaining - when we’d do anything to be pregnant & we now have the decision of what to do with the ashes which should have been our baby. I don’t know anyone personally whose had an ectopic pregnancy or who has been through this, so would be lovely to chat to someone who understands and can relate to all these feelings and anxieties.
Best wishes xx

Amanda_T88
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:22 pm

Re: Healing & Anxieties

Post by Amanda_T88 »

Hi Tara
I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. I'm about 2 wks post surgery, and can relate to your feelings. My husband and I have wanted a family for some time, too, and now I'm very anxious and hesitant to try again (when allowed, also). I've decided to wait awhile before trying again, even after we're given the OK. That's just what has felt right for me, and I know everyone is different. My fear and anxiety is too high to think about trying just yet. Every little ache or pain gets me wound up, because my surgery was emergency due to a rupture and I was very surprised by it.
I don't know anyone else personally who has gone through this, either. I definitely have a lot of feelings that I think only this group can relate to!

Lost_in_emotions
Posts: 3
Joined: Mon Jul 20, 2020 6:12 am

Re: Healing & Anxieties

Post by Lost_in_emotions »

Sorry you are going through this.

I also had an ectopic and salpingectomy 3weeks ago, had HCG levels done yesterday at my consultants request to ensure no particles left inside. Same issue with dissolvable stitches (can take 6weeks to dissolve, I cut my belly button one out last night as wasn’t healing properly, another still to go).

I have the same anxieties as you about risking the remaining tube, although we won’t be trying for a baby for another year. This was an unplanned pregnancy, we have two children already, but I’m worried about it already. What if it happens again? I keep reading stories of women having multiple ectopics.. I had a previous caesarean and gallbladder surgery so lots of adhesions and increases my risks. I read 3 periods before TTC again but I may be wrong, definitely need to have one cycle again.

The ashes, maybe you could bury them in a plant pot with a beautiful plant that will flower every summer?

Are you back to work? I went back yesterday (I’m a midwife on labour ward) and all felt a bit pully in my lower abdomen but I was glad to be back to some normality.

How was your bleeding? I bled for a week, then after another week had a day of bleeding, and over another week later and bleeding again. No idea if this is normal

Tara2
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Jul 26, 2020 5:05 pm

Re: Healing & Anxieties

Post by Tara2 »

Thank you for your replies,
Amanda I am so sorry what you have been through, its such an anxious, emotional time. It is completely understandable, Some days I feel I can't wait to be able to try again, other days I think what if I have to go through this again- but as you said Amanda every one is different and rightly so- it affects us all in similar yet different ways, just grateful of this site to see how i'm feeling is normal . I hope you are healing well after your surgery, did you have any warning symptoms prior to rupturing, I think sometimes there's no indication until it ruptures which is scary!

Lost_in_emotions- Sorry for what you are going through, All my stitches are out now thankfully, the surrounding skin was over granulating , i've got what looks like a blister in my belly button now which is very sore- I expected to heal better than this, its frustrating.
That is completely understandable, I think the anxiety we are all experiencing with regards to future pregnancies is very common, I try to feel positive successful stories but also find myself reading ones about multiple ectopics- maybe when it gets closer to the time of you feeling ready to try again speak to your GP, i'm sure they will be able to ease some of your anxieties and give you some reassurance.
The plant pot very idea is very lovely, thank you. Hope it is ok for you been back at work, I bet working around pregnant women can be very difficult for you. I'm due back at work on Monday (i'm a nurse) looking forward to some normality too.
I wonder if the bleeding now is your first period? I did read online somewhere some women have spotting for up to 6 weeks post op. I bled for 10 days post op lightly then haven't had anything since, I keep having stomach pains not sure if related to my belly button not been healed right or my first period.. The nurse who discharged me at the hospital said to wait two periods/three months until can TTC- that all feels very far into the future, just trying to take one day at a time now but some days are harder than others.

Take care ladies, thank you very much for your replies-

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