By registering on our forum, you can view and contribute to more topics on ectopic pregnancy. Your details are confidential and we do not send unsolicited emails. For your confidentiality, you can choose your own forum name to protect your anonymity if you so wish. If you register, there is no obligation to post; you can simply take comfort from the words of others. It is entirely up to you whether you post a message or read others' experiences or do both.

3 weeks post salpingectomy - feel lost

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
Post Reply
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Sep 05, 2020 11:36 pm

3 weeks post salpingectomy - feel lost

Post by SunflowerSunday »

Hi all, just looking to vent and reach out to people who share a similar experience.

I found out I was having an ectopic pregnancy whilst I had a mirena IUD in situ. I had the IUD for nearly two years, I am in a long term relationship and we had planned to having children in the not so distant future.
The whole experience was very overwhelming (to put it mildly). I did a home pregnancy test because I had some irregular bleeding. That evening I had some urgent care appts and then had surgery two days later after a scan confirmed it was an ectopic pregnancy. I wasn't in any significant pain and the pregnancy didn't rupture. I was discharged the next day with no follow up needed. I have had around 3 weeks off and I'm due to return to work this week.

Since the surgery I feel lost and like I don't even know or trust my own body anymore. I feel like everything has lost meaning or significance to me e.g. work. I also have found that this experience has made me realise how much I want to be a mother and it's all I think about, I am also terrified this could happen again, despite Drs saying it's unlikely - (given they would've said it's unlikely to fall pregnant with an IUD!). I am tearful a lot but I also feel a fraud because lots of women have much more difficult experiences and my pregnancy wasn't planned (on the contrary, I was trying to prevent pregnancy). I also find it hard to articulate what I am experiencing to my partner. Has anyone got any useful ideas to help?

Sorry this isn't written in the most articulate way!

EPT Host 20
Posts: 1998
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: 3 weeks post salpingectomy - feel lost

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear SunflowerSunday,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal. Feelings are no less if our babies are planned or not and you have every right to feel the way you do.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We generally feel a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget, but we learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead.
In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.

The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that's 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.
While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.
Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.

Making the decision to begin trying to conceive is an emotional rollercoaster compounded by our sad loss. Again, you are not alone. We are here for emotional support whenever you need us. There is a specific Preparing for your Next Pregnancy board you can look at too whenever feel ready.

With regards to your partner, keep an open dialogue. If you can speak to him, perhaps show him this post or similar posts on this board. It may help him understand how you are feeling.

Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at
Email us:
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here:
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team

Post Reply