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A story of hope

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
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Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2020 9:00 pm

A story of hope

Post by Rosie2020 »

Hi Everyone

I read the forum posts a lot when I had an ectopic pregnancy almost 2 years ago. They were tremendously helpful in navigating my fear and grief and everything else that was wrapped up in that.

Reading other people’s stories helped me so much especially in knowing that my confused and conflicted emotions were normal and in time would become more manageable.

The shock of losing my baby and tube through emergency surgery was entirely harrowing. The pregnancy was not planned but a welcome surprise. Following some unusual bleeding and niggling pain I took a pregnancy test and was so shocked to see a positive result. Of course it was clear that something was wrong and we had a week of hcg blood tests which although the numbers were low did double every 48 hours. And so, the EPAU did a scan after a week of this just to rule out the dreaded ectopic diagnosis since the pain and bleeding had reduced by then. Everyone was so positive that things were ok and the scan findings of an ectopic tubal pregnancy with a heartbeat was beyond heartbreaking.

The reason I wanted to write this post is to tell you a positive story. I was very lucky to get pregnant six months after my surgery at the age of 36 with very irregular periods. We hadn’t ‘tried’ as such to conceive (but hadn’t been careful either) as we were so consumed with grief and anxiety about the future and were both feeling too traumatised to think or talk about pregnancy planning at that time. In the months following my surgery my cycle ranged from 3 weeks to 7 weeks in duration and I was feeling that my body was completely ruined and incapable of returning to any normality. I had what I thought was the beginning of a period which abruptly stopped as quickly as it began and the nausea and other pregnancy symptoms followed very quickly. I was of course terrified and fully expected another ectopic. Getting a positive test result was terrifying. Referring straight for a scan at the EPAU (same room as before - very surreal and more terrifying in many ways than the first time) we were blessed with good news that the pregnancy was indeed this time ‘in the right place’.

I am typing this watching my 7 month old daughter sleeping and I hope that this story can help some of you to feel more positive about the future. I know we are very very lucky. Having a healthy pregnancy after an ectopic does not erase the grief - there are lots of challenges and complex feelings many of which are hard to put in to words. When I was blessed to have this healthy pregnancy I also felt guilty for having a baby/getting pregnant with relative ease. I have known so many people who have struggled with their fertility and I was nervous of offending people with the story about how this healthy pregnancy happened. It felt miraculous to us and in that came a strange mix of confusion, happiness, worry and a whole
mix of other things. I hope that by sharing this story it will help some of you to feel that there can be hope at a time that is so frightening and frought with uncertainty.
Sending you all lots of love and positive thoughts for the future

EPT Host 20
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Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: A story of hope

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Rosie2020,
Thank you so much for taking the time to post your experiences. Your story really will bring hope to so many.
Sending much love,
Karen x

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Joined: Sun Sep 27, 2020 10:05 am

Re: A story of hope

Post by MrsRoach2018 »

Thankyou so much for sharing your story, this helps me see a more positive side to what has happened these last few weeks. I know you hear it from the Doctors but always nice to read a positive story x

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Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 11:20 pm

Re: A story of hope

Post by JenJenn »

After the most traumatic week of my life this was such a lovely reassuring story to read. Thank you for sharing your story, if anything it gives me hope during this awful time. Thank you xx

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