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Mental health after ectopic pregnancy

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Summarpg
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:37 pm

Mental health after ectopic pregnancy

Post by Summarpg »

Hello,

It will be 3 years in January since I had my ectopic pregnancy, I was 18. The pregnancy was not planned and was very unexpected. It look a long time for the pregancy to be found as the nurses were unable to confirm whether they could actually see something on the ultrasound or not. The only reason it was confirmed is because my tube burst and I had to have an emergency surgery. I lost a lot of blood so a large incision was made instead of a keyhole surgery in order to drain it. I was bed ridden for quite some time it was all very traumatic and confusing.

Fast forward to now I am still not ready to have a child of my own however it is effecting my mental health. I suffer from anxiety and depression and have done since a young age, this have contributed to me creating a huge fear that when I am ready I will not be fertile. I will see a baby/toddler with their mother at the park and I will reduce to tears, it is very confusing when this happens because I don't want a child yet but I cannot control my broody hormonal mess of a brain.

I am receiving therapy for my mental health but I have nobody I can talk to about my experience who can relate to me. I think about having a baby non stop and I don't know why. I was wondering if there is anybody out there who has had a similar experience.

Many thanks.

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Mental health after ectopic pregnancy

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Summarpg,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Thank you so much for having the courage to talk about how you feel and contacting the Trust. I too suffered in silence following my ectopic pregnancy. It took me two years to face my feelings and like you, I reached out to the Trust. I found comfort in reading other people's posts. People understood how I felt and I didn't feel so alone. I was also advised that although my feelings, like yours were completely normal, hanging onto those feelings does not help us recover. I went for counselling as advised, and in time learnt that we will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.
It is good that you are having counselling, but it maybe worth speaking about your health anxiety related to trying to conceive again as they maybe able to offer advice.

It is normal to feel anxious about the future. We experience a mix of emotions from wanting to try again to being petrified of what may lie ahead. We never forget our babies or experiences but we can learn to accept what happened. It is a slow process that might be weeks or months ahead. In time, we can get to a place where we feel comfortable trying again. When this is, is individual for each person. There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes.
Importantly early scans avail. As soon as you know you are pregnant, contact your local EPU to inform them and book in for an early scan at around six weeks. Remind them of your previous ectopic pregnancy. This self refer route is the best route in our view. Hopefully you will have some comfort to know you are under the radar of medical professionals right away.
The chances of a further ectopic after a first in UK is 10%. So that's 90% chance of the embryo being in right place next time.
While generally it is possible to conceive after an ectopic pregnancy, the amount of time it takes varies from couple to couple. Factors include age, general health, reproductive health and how often you have sex, among other things. It may be comforting to know that 65% of women are successfully pregnant within 18 months of experiencing an ectopic pregnancy and some studies suggest this rises to around 85% after two years.

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and I will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
**************************************************************************
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************

Summarpg
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2020 6:37 pm

Re: Mental health after ectopic pregnancy

Post by Summarpg »

Hello,
Since my post I have been tested for PTSD from my ectopic pregnancy and it is looking likely that I do have it. My therapy may be changing because of this as my symptoms are worsening by the day. Thank you for the support, I may take it up to email you at some point when I feel stable enough to discuss what has happened,

Kind regards

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Mental health after ectopic pregnancy

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Summarpg,
We do hear from women who suffer from PTSD following ectopic pregnancy. It certainly can be a traumatic event. I am pleased that this has been recognised by your counselling services and I hope you will soon receive the help you deserve.
We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
**************************************************************************
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************

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