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Can’t help but feel upset

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Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Oct 14, 2020 2:44 pm

Can’t help but feel upset

Post by Demiharrison97 »

Hi everyone,
I had an ectopic pregnancy nearly 3 years ago now, I was 20 at the time I am now 23 it was first ever pregnancy and I was told I had a miscarriage fast forward a month and I was in immense pain and in the hospital being told I’m still pregnant but I have to go into surgery tonight, i had to have my right tube removed and I was told by the doctors I would have died if I did not come into the hospital when I did.
It is nearly 3 years on and I keep going back to the place I was in after my surgery I am so scared I will never be able to have a baby, everyone around me tells me I will be able to but I just can’t seem to listen to them as they are not in my shoes and don’t realise how worrying it is, it keeps me awake at night. And when I see someone I know is pregnant or has given birth this whole sense of jealousy comes over me and I can’t help but feel that way, no matter how much I try Iv had counselling but nothing seems to work I just don’t know what to do or how to feel :(

EPT Host 20
Posts: 1900
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: Can’t help but feel upset

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Demiharrison97,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Thank you so much for having the courage to talk about how you feel and contacting the Trust. I too suffered in silence following my ectopic pregnancy. It took me two years to be honest and face my feelings and like you, I reached out to the Trust. I found comfort in reading other people's posts. People understood how I felt and I didn't feel so alone. I was also advised that although my feelings, like yours were completely normal, hanging onto those feelings does not help us recover. I went for counselling as advised, and in time learnt that we will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

I know you said you have had counselling but the emotions you are describing sound very much like you are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress (PTSD) and there are counsellors that specialise in treatments for traumatic events. I would advise speaking to your GP or local counselling services to see if there are any counsellors who specialise in this area.

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too:

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and I will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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