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The Lost Egg

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Chrissy23
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Nov 14, 2020 4:33 am

The Lost Egg

Post by Chrissy23 »

Hello everyone,
I just want to share a short essay I wrote detailing my recent experience with ectopic pregnancy.
If you are reading this and currently going through challenges and troubles in getting pregnant, we are on the same page but let’s take this as an experience that will only keep us stronger and braver and more hopeful than ever before!

The Lost Egg

Life is full of unexpected twists, turns, and lessons.

My wonderful husband and I met when we were both young in primary school. We belonged in the same class for years until we reached secondary school. Before going to college, we parted ways and moved on to different universities. After many, many years and several life changes, our paths had crossed again, and we reconnected. We fell in love while we were miles apart and he was working abroad but stayed connected until we were ready to settle down. Like most young couples, we chose to take the opportunity to travel, explore fascinating places and visit relatives around the globe before we planned to start a family. As a young woman, I was convinced that getting pregnant would be an easy job and should be planned when it is time that we felt ready. A few years later, I have learned differently. We were faced with challenges along the way that included taking a series of tests, getting the needed supplements, and having regular visits to the doctor. Eventually, after months and months of seeing nothing, we were finally able to discern two clear and distinguishable blue lines that gave us hope, joy, and excitement, even for a short while.

In my head, I thought about fun ways to announce my pregnancy. Perhaps I could give away bags of sweets to my colleagues, hidden inside is one tiny piece of chocolate egg candy. Prior to the positive result on the pregnancy test, I had experienced pain on my lower back, right side of my body but had ignored it, thinking that it was nothing serious and would go away on its own. Still, we immediately booked an appointment to my obstetrician-gynecologist. “I don’t see any pregnancy in the ultrasound,” gently said the doctor. I felt worried and concerned. “But it might be because you are still too early in the pregnancy,” she continued, giving us hope. Nevertheless, she handed me a small piece of paper citing down a list of things that will keep a woman healthy during pregnancy. As a precautionary measure, I took a series of blood tests with 48 hours interval to check if my pregnancy hormones were increasing by 60-100%, a good sign of a normal pregnancy. Unfortunately, the result showed an increase of only 30%.

To further investigate the situation, I took another blood test after 48 hours. This time, the result showed a significant decrease in the pregnancy hormone to which the doctor diagnosed as an impending miscarriage. With disappointment and sadness weighing down on us, we went home and came back four days later for another blood test. In the days prior, I noticed that there was no heavy bleeding as expected and felt something was odd. It turned out that I was right. This time, the blood test showed a suboptimal rising in my pregnancy hormones. Our hearts sank. We felt the panic in the doctor’s eyes as she delivered the news that this might not be indicating a miscarriage but rather an ectopic pregnancy, a condition in which the fertilized egg implanted itself outside the uterus making it impossible for the baby to survive and dangerous for the mother as it might cause life-threatening bleeding if left untreated, thus had to be stopped. It was very ironic. I find it so bizarre that something we longed for so deeply, something our hearts desired, something so beautiful and amazing, can turn out to become a very frightening and horrifying experience. I was so close to creating life but was now completely on the other end of the spectrum. Upon receiving the doctor’s diagnosis, my head was instantly filled with thoughts about my family who were miles away. I thought about my husband and that if something happens to me, he must be able to manage things on his own. There was not enough time to think about life’s regrets. All that matters are the people you love.

Having detected the ectopic pregnancy early (at Week 7), I was a candidate for a medical management instead of a surgery. Without further delay, I was injected with a dose of Methotrexate, a powerful substance that will stop the pregnancy. As the doctor revealed to us the possible side effects of this medication, the list was beginning to unnerve me- abdominal pain for the next 7 days, heavy bleeding, possibility of tubal rupture, dizziness, conjunctivitis, skin irritation, and so on. I was admitted to the hospital to closely monitor how my body will respond to the medication for the next 24 hours. In the following week, I experienced sharp pains across my abdomen which I was able to slightly alleviate through slow and deep breathing. For the next one and half months, I went to the hospital weekly for a blood test and consultation to check if the treatment was working successfully. Every visit became unnecessarily even more painful as I witness seemingly healthy pregnant women and babies come for their check-ups as well. Throughout the treatment period, I kept a pain diary and had to be in tune with my body, taking note of everything even the slightest discomfort or pain. Remembering them is important as this will help the doctors keep track of your body’s response to the treatment.

An overwhelming support, love, care, and encouragement from family and friends had helped me throughout my recovery. I learned to appreciate and value my relationships with my loved ones. My admiration and respect for my husband who kept strong throughout the ordeal had been impressed upon me. My faith and trust in God had not withered but only grew stronger. My love for the lost egg was a blessing as it became a tool in helping me find the importance of listening to my body and taking good care of my health. I never knew the importance of my health until it was almost taken away from me. Every woman should make their health a top priority.

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: The Lost Egg

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Chrissy23,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Thank you so much for taking the time to write such a detailed account of your experiences.
The emotional impact will certainly help other women reading this. Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy can be so isolating and reading that others have felt the same, certainly make us feel less alone.

We are also here for you to lean on for as long as you need too.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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