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Boyfriend cheated on me during and after my ectopic

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EllisaMunoz
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Dec 24, 2020 10:43 pm

Boyfriend cheated on me during and after my ectopic

Post by EllisaMunoz »

I guess I just feel alone. I have felt alone this entire time. I found out I was having an ectopic and immediately had surgery and lost my baby and tube. During recovery my now ex boyfriend was drinking and screaming at me to get over it. Two days after surgery he also brought his son from a previous relationship to my apartment where he told me to stop crying and hold it in so I wouldn’t scare his son. I followed along. A couple weeks later I found out he was cheating on me the entire time with his ex. I just feel alone. I have my mom and friends, but it’s not the same because they weren’t there during that time. I had him with me the entire time treating me horribly. And now I am jealous of my friends getting pregnant. And I am sad I now no longer have the opportunity to try and get pregnant again. Especially during the holidays, it’s hard to find peace. I wish my child was here regardless of my ex cheating. I have to quarantine alone in my apartment due to Covid so I am away from family. And he is off at rehab and tried to apologize many times. But I just always find myself feeling and being alone. Any words of wisdom or support would be greatly appreciated.

lolly2481
Posts: 38
Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2020 8:33 pm

Re: Boyfriend cheated on me during and after my ectopic

Post by lolly2481 »

Hi Ellis, I'm sorry that you have had to deal with your ectopic pregnancy and the emotional aftermath by yourself. Your ex sounds dreadful in the way he has treated you during the difficult time. Sending you love x

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Boyfriend cheated on me during and after my ectopic

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Eloisa,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss and I am so sorry you are going through this alone. I wanted to reach out and say that you are not alone, you will always have friends who understand here.
It sounds as though your ex was not understanding at all, you have every right to feel upset and cry as you need to.
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and believe me when I say that your feelings are completely normal.

We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It's what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us "bad" people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.


Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task.
You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

You have been through an immense ordeal, as you are on your own, can you form a supportive bubble with a friend or family member, you would be able to stay with them in these circumstances, if you are able. This may help with the emotional and physical support after surgery.

Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally. We will be here for you for as long as you need.

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

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EllisaMunoz
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Dec 24, 2020 10:43 pm

Re: Boyfriend cheated on me during and after my ectopic

Post by EllisaMunoz »

Thank you both for your kind words. Even this is helping me a lot. Makes it easier talking to people who have been through similar situations. Sending love back. I really really appreciate the help! I am doing a little better today. And feel stronger

lolly2481
Posts: 38
Joined: Wed Dec 23, 2020 8:33 pm

Re: Boyfriend cheated on me during and after my ectopic

Post by lolly2481 »

I'm glad you are feeling a little better. It's going to take time to heal, physically and emotionally. Be kind to yourself. Take things slowly. X

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