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My story so far

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Vikbee
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jan 21, 2021 8:57 pm

My story so far

Post by Vikbee »

I’m not sure where to start.
On the 9th Dec we got our positive test and on the 11th I started spotting. What I wouldn’t give to be back there on the night of the 9th, blissfully happy.
I’ve got a little girl (I know, so so lucky), so I knew the spotting wasn’t normal for me. The blood got worse over two days and I called the early pregnancy ward on Saturday night. On Monday I went in, scan showed nothing, maybe too early they said. They took bloods, and asked me to come back on the Wednesday for more. I’m guessing you all know the drill... down is miscarriage, the same is ectopic and doubling is a good sign. Mine doubled! I was ecstatic.
I was asked to come back a week later for a scan. I’m sure you all know how awful that waiting time is but I told myself that I could walk out of there with everything. That morning I received news that my beloved grandad had died in the night. I remember thinking that life couldn’t be so cruel to do this on the same day.
9am, on the bed, nothing in my uterus. My life fell apart in that 10 seconds.
My partner was in the car, I was allowed to call him in and we waited in a bereavement room for over an hour for the consultant. I was shaking.
Second scan revealed the ectopic, it was the day before Christmas Eve and all I could think was that my 3yo was going to lose the magic of Christmas. My partner had to leave as I prepared tod surgery. They told me what they were going to do but none of it went in.
I came round, in pain, confused, alone and heartbroken. I honestly still can’t believe it happened.
It’s a double loss; your baby and one of the most precious parts of your body. They told me the next day that they removed my right tube.
It was a blur, I went home on Christmas Eve. I have no idea how I got through Christmas and now I’m 4 weeks on, scared for the future and feeling empty.
I am truly sorry to any other woman and family who has gone through this. You’re absolute heroes, the physical and emotional toll is almost unbearable.
I think about it all day, last thing at night and as soon as I wake up. I’m hoping one day I’ll think of something else. Lots of love to you all xxx

EPT Host 22
Posts: 415
Joined: Fri Nov 20, 2015 10:26 am

Re: My story so far

Post by EPT Host 22 »

Hi Vikbee,

My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that have suffered this ectopic pregnancy and loss, made particularly hard during the Christmas season. I know what a confusing and heartbreaking time this can be. I'm glad you have found this website and these boards. Everyone here is, unfortunately, connected by this experience.

The experience you have gone through is made harder during this pandemic. Please know, there was nothing that was done to cause this ectopic pregnancy, nor anything we can do to prevent them. The most important thing is to look after yourself right now, for as long as you need. The recovery, both physically and emotionally, had no set pathway. It is different for each person and takes time.

I often recommend to women that a journal may help them start processing their thoughts and emotions. Often there is so much to express after this experience and it can be hard to sort through everything.

If you are interested in exploring counselling, we suggest that you ask for a referral by your GP or use a practitioner who has undertaken recognised training and is registered with the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy. It is also a good idea to look for someone who has an interest in the area of women’s health or fertility problems. The charity MIND also can provide counselling with trained practitioners locally at affordable prices. Counselling charges are means-tested (you pay what you can afford) and so you may receive counselling support for a nominal fee or even for free.http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Please take these days slowly and look after yourself. We are here for you for anything you need.

With good wishes,

Michele

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards

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