By registering on our forum, you can view and contribute to more topics on ectopic pregnancy. Your details are confidential and we do not send unsolicited emails. For your confidentiality, you can choose your own forum name to protect your anonymity if you so wish. If you register, there is no obligation to post; you can simply take comfort from the words of others. It is entirely up to you whether you post a message or read others' experiences or do both.

Please help! Breakdown / 3 months post op

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
To keep this as a safe space, before being able to post freely, an administrator will need to activate your account and authorise your first post.
Post Reply
Y_smin
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2021 1:06 am

Please help! Breakdown / 3 months post op

Post by Y_smin »

I am posting this as I am really worried:
I had an ectopic pregnancy removed in December, I lost my tube.
I’m only 23 years old and have no kids, it’s made me feel unbelievably scared and depressed that I may never have the chance to have children.
Me & my partner had sex for the first time in February, since my tube was removed.
I then took the morning after pill (which I wasn’t advised actually increases the chance of an ectopic pregnancy)
I am now 8 days late of my period, and weirdly have many symptoms of ‘pregnancy’ including stomach getting bigger, mood swings & tender breasts.
However 4 tests later and all have come back negative,
But I’m going crazy emotionally, as I have a fear & keep replaying that I’m experiencing another ectopic pregnancy.
Every twinge or pain in my stomach puts me on edge, I haven’t eaten in days, I cry every morning I wake up.
The day I had sex was the first day of my period, I phoned the doctors and they think I have very little chance of being pregnant and more felt I was suffering mentally & told me to trust the pregnancy tests.
I have a mistrust for medical professionals as the hospital I did my surgery at was extremely insensitive, sent me home with 3D scan pictures of my pregnancy, and didn’t even discuss the possible emotional feelings I would experience.
Do you guys think they are right & I am overthinking?
Could it be possible to be pregnant but get a negative test result over and over again?
What has helped you move on? I feel stuck in this mental space worrying about the future and feeling like I’m going to have another ectopic, I’m terrified of ever having sex again.
If anyone could help me on anything, how to get me out of this hole, because I feel so close to breaking point
Sorry for the long paragraph!

Y_smin
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2021 1:06 am

Lack of support / COVID experience? Grief

Post by Y_smin »

I’m writing this as I feel so alone at the moment.
I had an ectopic pregnancy in December, and had to have the tube fully removed.
The whole process was really overwhelming I was alone in hospital due to COVID.
Now having ‘physically’ recovered, I now feel stuck in a mental battle. I spoke to my doctors, they said I could have possible PTSD.
I wake up and think about the loss everyday, and feel isolated from friends / family. I just feel like I’m in a hole of sadness.
I also feel really angry a lot of the time as there seems to be no support for the aftermath of loosing a child, the hospital did no check ups, I was just let out to get on with it.
I wondered if anyone felt the same, I feel as time goes on I become more depressed about it all & I have developed anxiety, any little pain I get in my stomach or shoulder I feel like I’m back having the ectopic pregancy again.
I wondered if anyone has any tips on how they managed to just self care, and not go down a spiral
Thank you

Y_smin
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2021 1:06 am

Re: Please help! Breakdown / 3 months post op

Post by Y_smin »

Y_smin wrote:
Sat Mar 20, 2021 1:17 am
I am posting this as I am really worried:
I had an ectopic pregnancy removed in December, I lost my tube.
I’m only 23 years old and have no kids, it’s made me feel unbelievably scared and depressed that I may never have the chance to have children.
Me & my partner had sex for the first time in February, since my tube was removed.
I then took the morning after pill (which I wasn’t advised actually increases the chance of an ectopic pregnancy)
I am now 8 days late of my period, and weirdly have many symptoms of ‘pregnancy’ including stomach getting bigger, mood swings & tender breasts.
However 4 tests later and all have come back negative,
But I’m going crazy emotionally, as I have a fear & keep replaying that I’m experiencing another ectopic pregnancy.
Every twinge or pain in my stomach puts me on edge, I haven’t eaten in days, I cry every morning I wake up.
The day I had sex was the first day of my period, I phoned the doctors and they think I have very little chance of being pregnant and more felt I was suffering mentally & told me to trust the pregnancy tests.
I have a mistrust for medical professionals as the hospital I did my surgery at was extremely insensitive, sent me home with 3D scan pictures of my pregnancy, and didn’t even discuss the possible emotional feelings I would experience.
Do you guys think they are right & I am overthinking?
Could it be possible to be pregnant but get a negative test result over and over again?
What has helped you move on? I feel stuck in this mental space worrying about the future and feeling like I’m going to have another ectopic, I’m terrified of ever having sex again.
If anyone could help me on anything, how to get me out of this hole, because I feel so close to breaking point
Sorry for the long paragraph!

Y_smin
Posts: 4
Joined: Sat Mar 20, 2021 1:06 am

Mental health support

Post by Y_smin »

Where has everyone gone for support ?

Scrubsfan103
Posts: 34
Joined: Sun Jan 03, 2021 11:43 am

Re: Please help! Breakdown / 3 months post op

Post by Scrubsfan103 »

Hi Y_smin,

I am sorry to hear about your loss.

I think by now the pregnancy test should be accurate but maybe take another pregnancy test in a few days to be sure.

Sadly, there isn't anything you can do to prevent another ectopic pregnancy. However, the chances of having a second one is only 10%. For now, if you aren't trying to conceive, I would advise using some form of contraception.

What has been helping me after my two recent ectopic pregnancies is journalling. Reading other stories on this board has helped as well and talking about my feelings with my partner. I also try to focus on the positive things in my life and practice self-care by going on walks, listening to music and reading novels. Some days are better than others and as much as possible when I feel myself getting too down, I try to distract myself.

If you need further support, there are counselling services available.

I Hope this helps.

All the best,
Nicole

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Please help! Breakdown / 3 months post op

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Y-smin,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Unfortunately I am not medically trained so cannot give you specific advice on your queries. If you had intercourse around the time of an expected period, The chances of pregnancy are slim as you would have circulated around 12-14 days previously.

Periods can be delayed for a number of reasons including stress or even (as surprising as it may sound) excessive exercise or weight loss. Doctors normally consider menstrual cycles of between 23-42 days to be within normal parameters. If you have not had your expected period, we would advise retesting, using an early morning urine sample in a further week.
If you have any further concerns however, please do get medical attention as soon as you can. If it has been 42 days since the first day of your last menstrual period, please talk to your GP who maybe able to assist you further.

The feelings you describe are very understandable. You have had so much to process in a very small timeframe - the ordeal of diagnosis, surgical treatment, losing a pregnancy and concerns about the future. Any one of these is hard to contend with and putting it all together is immense. After a frightening ordeal like ectopic pregnancy, some women do find that they suffer from Post Traumatic Stress and symptoms can include anxiety, flashbacks and not being able to focus on everyday things like work. There are a number of avenues that you could look into to get the help that you need.

We at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling.

We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.I

Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x


The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
**************************************************************************
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************

miranda864
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Feb 21, 2021 9:49 pm

Re: Please help! Breakdown / 3 months post op

Post by miranda864 »

Hi Yasmin

As it has been a while, hope you are feeling better now.

You can take as many pregnancy tests as you want to feel better. It's common with women after ectopics I think, especially as many bled at the start of their ectopic (so can't trust a period meaning you're not pregnant) or had wonky hCG rises (so also might be suspicious of a negative test, although, they are so sensitive now that they would show a positive result for an ectopic even if it is a bit later than they might reveal a uterine pregnancy).

I still get anxious and take tests. I'd highly recommend you try and find a birth control you can take if you don't want to get pregnant.

I started seeing a counsellor a few months after my ectopic to get some support.

Post Reply