By registering on our forum, you can view and contribute to more topics on ectopic pregnancy. Your details are confidential and we do not send unsolicited emails. For your confidentiality, you can choose your own forum name to protect your anonymity if you so wish. If you register, there is no obligation to post; you can simply take comfort from the words of others. It is entirely up to you whether you post a message or read others' experiences or do both.

Pregnancy resentment

This is a welcoming place for you to ask your questions and share your knowledge and experiences of ectopic pregnancy.
To keep this as a safe space, before being able to post freely, an administrator will need to activate your account and authorise your first post.
Post Reply
crystals-starr
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Mar 30, 2021 12:04 am

Pregnancy resentment

Post by crystals-starr »

Hi all,

I am currently 3 weeks post op for the removal of my ectopic after the injection didn't work. I was also diagnosed with endometriosis. My 18 year old sister announced her pregnancy a week after my op.

Ive had to remove her from all my social medias because i can't handle seeing her pregnant. I genuinely feel hatred towards this baby which makes me feel worse because i dont want to. I just feel so lonely and like the world is against me. :(

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Pregnancy resentment

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear crystals-starr,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal. It is still so early for you Thatcher feelings are very raw.

We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It's what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us "bad" people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Perhaps in time you can speak to her about how you are feeling and so she has more of an understanding to be more considerate towards your needs rather than blocking her altogether. This will take time and I would only suggest doing this when you are ready.

There is no timeframe for recovery, take each day as it comes. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.

Sending much love,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
**************************************************************************
During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team
***************************************************************************

miranda864
Posts: 51
Joined: Sun Feb 21, 2021 9:49 pm

Re: Pregnancy resentment

Post by miranda864 »

Sorry to hear that Crystal, it is really hard and take the time you need but it is your sister - I don't know the nature of your relationship, but hopefully it is one in which you can be honest about how you are feeling? Your sister is very young though and to be honest when I was 18 (and even when I was probably 25) I may have had a limited understanding of how women who suffered pregnancy loss may feel.

It's normal though - I didn't even know if I wanted children for sure, but since my ectopic I have found it very hard to be around pregnant women. It depends who - one of my oldest friends I spent a lot of time with after my ectopic, and her baby, and I wasn't at all bothered by this for some reason. However, women I know less well or don't know at all I have found difficult. And it has been months since my ectopic.

Post Reply