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A whole range of emotions

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Stayls89+
Posts: 11
Joined: Thu Dec 10, 2020 12:03 pm

A whole range of emotions

Post by Stayls89+ »

Hi all,

I just wanted to post and let out a load of emotions. I feel this is the only place people understand. Sometimes I feel like I’m driving myself crazy, thinking what if and working out how many weeks pregnant I would be if I wasn’t one of those unlucky few.
I had the injection back at the start of December, my hcg levels were very low and it cleared up just before Xmas. I suppose I’m lucky in that sense, I don’t know if lucky is the right word to use.
It’s been quite a few months now, and sometimes I feel ok. I had tests done to check my tubes and they said they wasn’t blocked which gave me some relief. I then had other tests to check my overall fertility and they came back good. This made the cloud disappear for a while.
We have just had our first cycle of trying and I got symptoms of cramps, headaches, dizziness. I really believed I was pregnant, turns out I wasn’t and my period is now here.
I’m more disappointed in myself that I got myself so excited and now I feel the hurt of what happened all over again. My friend has also told me she’s expecting in October and I feel like the worst person ever for feeling jealous. I am happy for her don’t get wrong, but I can’t seem to shake these feelings.
As with everyone else on here I just want a bundle of joy so so much, that I feel stressed about the what ifs, people say relax and it will happen. That’s something I struggle to do. I so wish I could let go of the past and be happy again.

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: A whole range of emotions

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Stayls89+,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
The trauma of an ectopic pregnancy can be hard to come to terms with and there is no timeframe for recovery. Whilst your feelings are normal, If the down days start to outweigh the good days, we at the Trust believe that talking through what happened and your emotions as and when you can helps the healing process. We operate a helpline service and there's no pressure whatsoever but if you would ever like the opportunity to speak over the phone to someone who has been through a similar experience, do feel free to call, details are below. We can take things at your pace entirely and you are free to ask any questions that are on your mind. You can talk about the ordeal you have been through and express your feelings to vent and let off some steam. We can exchange emails too, if you prefer that route. We'll simply be here for you, however you wish and for as long as you wish.

In addition, you can ask to see a GP at your practice and ask them to explore ways in which you can get help and this can include referrals for "talking therapies" or counselling.

We have information on our website about finding counselling services and we have more information here: http://www.ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

The charity Mind may also be of assistance. They have local centres and support groups and can offer services on a means-tested basis or sometimes free. You can find your local centre following this link if that may be useful too: http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/local-minds/

Many women experience feelings of isolation after an ectopic pregnancy - I did, too. It is a frightening experience. Like you, I reached out to the Trust for support and we will be here for you to lean on for as long as you need.

We also hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It's what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us "bad" people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.

Sending much love,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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During the coronavirus outbreak, The EPT team is still working hard to provide crucial information and support to women and families experiencing ectopic pregnancy as quickly and efficiently as we can.
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering or fundraising?
Further information is available at ectopic.org.uk
Email us: ept@ectopic.org.uk
We provide a call-back helpline service: 020 7733 2653
Take a look at our newsletters and subscribe to our mailing list here: https://mailchi.mp/986bdd6091ee/ectopic-matters
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