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Recovering from 2nd Ectopic - now cant have children

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ShaniahD
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2021 12:26 pm

Recovering from 2nd Ectopic - now cant have children

Post by ShaniahD »

Hello! I'm new here and have never posted before!
So... ive been reading some of your experiences and have found it very comforting knowing someone knows what im going through.
Im currently sat at home recovering from my second ectopic pregnancy! i feel the need to share what has happened to me as a way of finally dealing and coming to terms with whats happened!
My first ectopic was December 7th 2020! After finding out we were pregnant after over 2 years of trying was just perfect! we did have to go through the fertility clinic as i have pcos and wasnt ovulating properly, and was told that i wasnt able to get pregnant without having ovulation tablets. So to know they worked was the perfect moment for us! But it all came crashing down when i started bleeding/spotting a few days before it all happened. So i rang the early pregnancy clinic and they were going to scan me on the monday (the 7th dec 20) but only to have extreme pain in the early hours the morning of the 7th as well as vomiting and dropping in and out of consciousness. My fiancé rang the ambulance and within 10mins of being in A&E they scanned me to tell me I had an ectopic, massive internal bleeding and my organs were starting to shut down. They took me straight into theatre to have the tube out as it had burst and to save my life. After many bags of fluid, 3 blood transfusions and 4 hrs in surgery i was awake and had no pain. i stayed in hopsital for 3 days and finally i was sent home! i had 8weeks off work to recover! Within 7 weeks i found out i was pregnant, nearly died, lost our baby and was a fallopian tube down. Im really struggling mentally for it all to happen again very soon!
2nd ectopic
Middle of last month, i started spotting, went straight to A&E. They scanned me and looked at my cervix to tell me it was open and having a miscarriage. So i had to go back the following day for another scan and blood tests at the early pregnancy clinic for them to tell me they think it was a miscarriage and my body was fighting it itself and to come back in 3 days for another blood test to make sure my hormone levels are going down. When i went back i got the news i was dreading. I had another ectopic. They took my bloods, scanned me and checked my cervix to confirm it, when i passed some tissue, so they sent it off for testing. They kept me in over night to for observation, i still had no pain at this point so they sent me home the next day. Only for a 36hrs later the pain hit me like a tonne of bricks! So straight back to A&E, scanned me again only to notice that the mass in my tube was getting bigger so they emitted me that morning and that afternoon i went down to surgery to have the other tube out before it burst which could happen at any minute. So I came back round from surgery to be told my tube couldnt be saved an they had to take it out. Now i cannot have children without IVF! im only 23 - 24 next friday ( 23rd).
If that's not enough for me to go through i had a phone call from the hospital a few days ago to tell me that i had an ectopic and a miscarriage and the tissue that came out of my cervix was pregnancy tissue, which means I HAD TWINS!!
So in months I had 2 pregnancies, lost 3 babies and had both my fallopian tubes out so now i cant have children without IVF!
I feel so lost, ive let everyone down. Especially my fiancé. He wants more than anything to be a Dad and i cant even give him that!!

EPT Host 20
Posts: 2194
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: Recovering from 2nd Ectopic - now cant have children

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Shaniah,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.
Please do not blame yourself for the losses. From the bottom of my heart, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the ectopic pregnancies from happening. I cannot emphasise enough - you are not to blame and do not give up hope.
When you feel ready, ask for a referral to a fertility specialist to discuss IVF with you. We have had women in past posts who have successfully conceived following IVF.

Above all, be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve,to heal both physically and emotionally. There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

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