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Helpless

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Charlyg
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2021 10:05 pm

Helpless

Post by Charlyg »

Hi,
I’m new to this site but I’m hoping that talking to others in my situation may help. 3 weeks ago I had a private scan due to spotting, I was told there was nothing in my womb and that I was miscarrying. A week went by with barely any symptoms and I was feeling so confused so took a pregnancy test that confirmed I was pregnant still. Contacted early pregnancy unit and was booked for a scan the next day. They found an ectopic pregnancy measuring at 5cm, I was admitted to hospital straight away and received surgery to remove my right tube. I was discharged the following day with no follow up or any information. It’s now 2 weeks since surgery, I have an infection in my belly button incision, I feel bloated, stitches haven’t yet dissolved and one day I feel ok and the next I can’t stop crying. People have stopped asking how I am as though what happened, never happened. I am due back to work tomo, which I’m very nervous about. Currently being at home with my partner is my safe space

paulinavx_1
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Nov 23, 2020 11:18 pm

Re: Helpless

Post by paulinavx_1 »

Hi Charlyg. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through ectopic. I had my ectopic over 1.5 yrs ago and it was also managed by surgery. I received amazing care from NHS during my ectopic, however lack of follow ups after surgery was a bit hard as I wasn't sure what's normal during recovery. I didn't have any infection but my stitches took long time to dissolve ( I don't remember exactly but for sure more than 3-4 weeks). I was completely exhausted first week after the surgery. I also felt bloated and had poor appetite. I definitely didn't feel completely fine after 2 weeks, however, I decided to go back to work to keep myself busy and stop thinking about what had happened. Luckily, my work doesn't require extensive interaction with other people or manual handling so I was able to take it very easy but I know that it's not possible in all types of jobs.
Take your time to recover both physically and mentally. It's long and gradual process and it's different for everyone. Please don't feel that you should be fine by now. You've been through a lot and you need time to heal. Be kind for yourself and if you feel you're not coping well, don't feel afraid to ask for support.
Best wishes,
Paulina

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Helpless

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear charly,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
Experiencing an ectopic pregnancy is a huge ordeal and you are in the early stages of recovery. Your body needs time to heal from your surgery which is in itself a gruelling task. You have also had to process the loss of your baby and been through an immense rollercoaster of emotions - all of this will take time to come to terms with.

You should take it very easily for about six weeks after surgery. Your body will be using its energies to heal internally. It is normal to feel physically and emotionally exhausted during this time and please do be kind to yourself. Recovery can take time and some days will be better than others, one day you maybe ok and the next you maybe in discomfort or more emotional. This is perfectly usual and the healing process will go back and forth in this way for however long you need. It is important to listen to your body's signals and pain and feeling tired are your body's signs to tell you to rest. We suggest keeping a healthy balanced diet, drinking lots of water and resting. Once your wounds have healed, very gentle exercise such as a short walk can help, but please do take this slowly.

Everybody is different and some people want to get back to work but it really is early days after your surgery and especially if you have an infection too. In general, we would advise that after six weeks you should be able to return to most jobs from a physical point of view, but many women need to take more time off to help them deal with the psychological (emotional) impact of the loss of their baby and the frightening experience they felt being diagnosed with and treated for an ectopic pregnancy. If you feel you need more time, please contact your GP who will be able to arrange a sick note for you.

We have more information on recovery from ectopic pregnancy on our website but I have added a few links for you here-

https://ectopic.org.uk/patients/your-bo ... pregnancy/
https://ectopic.org.uk/patients/emotional-impact/

I found that friends and family, although well-meaning didn't truly understand how I was feeling. These boards are a safe space to share, ask questions, or to vent. They are filled with people who have been through similar experiences and journeys, and we are here for you for as long as you need.

Above all be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.
Sending much love,
Karen x

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Charlyg
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2021 10:05 pm

Re: Helpless

Post by Charlyg »

Thank you both for your lovely replies. It means a lot xx

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