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Friends/Family Members Announcing Pregnancies

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Jmacombe
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Apr 30, 2021 3:27 pm

Friends/Family Members Announcing Pregnancies

Post by Jmacombe »

Hi Everyone,

I finally joined this forum after 2 months. Thank you for everyone who has shared on here, it has really helped me through a horrific time. I had my second and last dose of MTX for persistent ectopic pregnancy on 08 FEB 2021 and have an HSG Test scheduled for 18 MAY 2021 and we will start trying again after that. I felt like I had things under control but a friend is now pregnant and a sibling of mine announced their pregnancy today and I lost it. I haven't been able to stop crying. I feel jealous and heartbroken, but am deep down happy for them (they have been trying a long time). Has anyone else experienced this and if so, any tips for coping, everyone keeps saying that my time is coming, but I just keep thinking what could have been. Thanks in advance.

xo Jesse

Mags2021
Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2021 11:37 pm

Re: Friends/Family Members Announcing Pregnancies

Post by Mags2021 »

Hi Jesse
I had a similar experience to you.. when friends and family announced their news I was gutted. I felt so angry, so cheated and so hard done by.. like you, I cried for a day solid.. I just felt so alone and hopeless- it was not a pleasant zone to be in.
I think sometimes people are tactless, they don’t mean to be, but they are- that hurts.
Also, unfortunately the harsh reality is life goes on- it’s not fair or easy but it does. What you need to do now is focus on you. Experience those feelings of resentment and anger and hurt- it is natural and important as it is so real for you.
I know it doesn’t feel that you will get through it, but you will.
I just wanted to say your story resonated with me, as I felt exactly like that.. and I still do, but it is getting easier.
Be hopeful. Mind yourself xx

Charlyg
Posts: 9
Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2021 10:05 pm

Re: Friends/Family Members Announcing Pregnancies

Post by Charlyg »

Hi Jesse,
So sorry to hear how you are feeling. Just wanted to comment to say that I’m 2.5 weeks after surgery to have my right tube removed 😞 last week my sister and close friends announced they were expecting, I too felt exactly the same. Pleased for them but so so devastated, my heart hurt and I sobbed uncontrollably. It’s so hard when people say “your time will come”. Sending all my love and please know that you are not alone x

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Friends/Family Members Announcing Pregnancies

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Jesse,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
We hear from many women who struggle with news about pregnancy from their friends and families. This is very normal and I was the same after my loss. When I had my ectopic pregnancy I had to attend a family function and a close family member was heavily pregnant. I spent the whole day and evening avoiding her as I found it too hard to be near her. It's what I needed to do to get through the day and have some space and please protect your heart in whatever way you need. This does not make us "bad" people and it is possible to be happy for those around us while grieving for our own loss. Pregnancies and babies can be a very stark reminder of what could have been and it can be painful. Please do be gentle with yourself and you can talk to us whenever you need.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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Berecca_1384
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Apr 21, 2021 5:11 am

Re: Friends/Family Members Announcing Pregnancies

Post by Berecca_1384 »

Hi Jesse

Sorry to hear you’re going through this. I am struggling too.

Days after my last miscarriage, my sister in law announced she was pregnant again. It was Christmas Day too, so really hit me. Then a friend of the family announced they were expecting. Then an ex work colleague ...and then another friend announced a pregnancy (saying she is due the month I was expecting this one which turned out to be ectopic). Don’t even know how to describe how I feel...

I have found reading Eckhart Tolle’s works really helpful along with anything to do with mindfulness or similar, and focusing on things that make me happy (preferably non baby related! 🙈😂) I downloaded a game I have got my teeth in to on my iPad and I snuggle up in bed most nights with a hot drink and a biscuit and play that..haha!

I play my favourite music on my Alexa. I have been thinking of ways of improving myself and doing things I couldn’t do if I had a baby. More sleep / exercise / healthy eating / studying etc

I hope this helps a bit and feel free to throw some ideas back at me too! Take care of yourself xxx

Armstrong1
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Apr 22, 2021 9:26 pm

Re: Friends/Family Members Announcing Pregnancies

Post by Armstrong1 »

Hi Jesse
I had my ruptured ectopic in Feb 2021, it came as such a shock. I collapsed at home and was rushed into hospital for emergency surgery, they removed my right tube. Not long after my brother and sister in law announced there pregnancy. I was heartbroken and cried all day. Now time has moved on a bit I have managed to feel happy for them. I'm still worried it might never happen for us.. We have just started ttc again and I'm just praying and hoping it will happen one day.

Jmacombe
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Apr 30, 2021 3:27 pm

Re: Friends/Family Members Announcing Pregnancies

Post by Jmacombe »

Thank you all, I am so sorry for your losses as well :(

I appreciate the recommendation to focus on mindfulness and what makes me happy, I will try that as I have a girls weekend to attend this weekend and two of the girls are pregnant. I am happy for them but just heartbroken that we lost ours <3

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