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Starting over

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AmyThornethwaite
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon May 03, 2021 6:05 pm

Starting over

Post by AmyThornethwaite »

I tried for 9 years with my husband for a baby with no joy, we were told there was nothing wrong with either of us, we were just unlucky.

We separated after trying to go down the adoption route and my husband made it very clear that it wasn't something he wanted to explore.

After a year i found myself in a new relationship and after two years of thinking we would never have a baby, and actually becoming ok with the idea, literally spoke about it a few days before I found out I was pregnant. After a month something went wrong, I was spotting and we found out after another two weeks of tests that it was an ectopic pregnancy.
I had surgery and I lost my right tube.
I ended up with an abcess in my belly button which was painful on top of the surgery healing.
The sad thing is i didn't realise how much it had already effected our relationship.
6 months later we found out I was pregnant again and knew quite quickly something was wrong.

A second ectopic, this time they tried to save the tube by only taking out the pregnancy during surgery. It didn't work and after two weeks they realised that they had left some of the pregnancy inside my tube and it was growing again.

I then had a course of methotrexate to try and stop the pregnancy growing anymore, it was working, bloodtests every two days my numbers were dropping as they should. but after another two weeks I was rushed in to have emergency surgery due to it rupturing and I nearly died of internal bleeding they took my second tube.
I never got any help with how angry and sad I had become from over ten years of wanting to two pregnancies in 6 months and now being made surgically sterile.
I have recently sort out counciling for my lose and grief as it has had a detrimental effect on my life as I'm three years on from my last surgery my partner and I separated as we were never really the same.
It was hard to try and justify my feelings as I didn't fully understand them. I never found the way to explain my loss.

I have enquired about freezing my eggs as I am 36 now and starting over. If there is any info you could share with me about this I would really appreciate it!

Amy

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Starting over

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Amy,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses. To experience one loss is difficult to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.
You have every right to feel the way you do but I am glad that you have asked for counselling, I think it will help tremendously.
As far as I am aware, you cannot freeze eggs under the NHS unless you are having treatment for chemotherapy etc. I do not know where you would stand having had both of your tubes removed which sadly affects your fertility so I would speak to your GP who maybe able to find out of you would be eligible. As we are a charity, we cannot recommend any private clinics, I am sorry.

Please be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally. We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
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