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Partner Is Quiet

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UmbrellaEla46
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2021 4:22 pm

Partner Is Quiet

Post by UmbrellaEla46 »

Hi All,
I got diagnosed with EP on Sunday 30th May around midday, by 6.45pm I was going into surgery. This was to remove the EP, blood sack and Fallopian tube. My partner was very happy when they tested me to make sure I was pregnant and then after the surgery, I’ve asked how he was feeling and he’s been very very closed off. He didn’t tell his work, he didn’t tell his family, he went to work as normal and only saw him on the weekends. Luckily my family has been a big help but wondered if anyone else has had the same issues and how or if you’ve overcome them.
It’s a big surgery to have and affects us both but it’s almost like he’s shrugged it off like it didn’t happen.
Thank you,
Emma

EPT Host 20
Posts: 2276
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: Partner Is Quiet

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Emma,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
We often find that partners react differently in early pregnancy loss.
My partner for instance, openly admits he did not feel as though he had lost a baby as we had only known we were pregnant for 2-3 weeks.
He was however extremely worried about me and my health and once I was discharged from hospital and physically recovering, he felt better about the whole thing and also went back to work and carried on as normal.
I tried to ask if he was ok and wanted to talk, but he kept saying he was fine, and looking back, I can see he was fine as I was recovering.
Conversely he could very much be grieving for the loss of his baby, but his way of dealing with it is to shut it down and continue with work.
Keep an open dialogue with him and let him know you are there if he wants to talk. It is good to hear you have good family support.
We have a mens board which you could read or read together where partners have shared their experiences and it might help him open up.
We also have more information on the emotional recovery from ectopic pregnancy on our website and I have added The link here-

https://ectopic.org.uk/helping-someone- ... pregnancy/

Please also take time for yourself,
We are here for you for as long as you need.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
Ectopic pregnancy patient information suite: Highly Commended in the 2019 BMA Patient Information Awards
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