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Hope

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CJx
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2020 10:24 am

Hope

Post by CJx »

I suffered an Ectopic Pregnancy in October 2020. I had to have emergency surgery to have my right Fallopian tube removed.
I had not felt right for my whole pregnancy but I put it down to not knowing what being pregnant felt like. We had been trying to get pregnant for some time and when I found out I was it was like all my dreams came true, I hoped that nothing would go wrong. I visited my doctor who sent me for blood tests. She later told me my levels were good and increasing and I had an active pregnancy so when I felt pain I put it off because I had been told everything was ok. I started really heavily bleeding, I ended up in hospital where they told me i had been told the wrong information a month before and my level in fact then showed something was wrong. If I have learnt anything from this experience it is to trust your gut. I had emergency surgery and I was in hospital for a week due to a blood clot. I was alone and saw nobody due to COVID. I couldn’t even tell my partner face to face I had lost our baby. It was a lot to deal with. I was in a very low, dark place. I had wanted this baby so much and it had been taken away from me and I blamed myself, I looked at people who have happy, heathy pregnancies and I wished that was me. I couldn’t pull myself out of this dark place. Nothing mattered anymore. I went to see a councillor and this did help. I went for Acupuncture and I really felt this helped too. Most of all I came to this forum and I read what people had written and I didn’t feel as alone. I read that someone was pregnant again after suffering an Ectopic pregnancy and it gave me hope and I kept that hope close to me and made it my focus. I had told myself I couldn’t go through that pain again but that hope pushed me to keep going and trying. Someone else has got their happy ending after a tragic loss and I thought what if that could be me?

Here I am writing this and I just want to give someone else hope.
I am 22 weeks pregnant with a baby boy.

I thought I would never get my happy ever after, I honestly felt at times my life was over, I really struggling but this little baby boy is giving me strength to carry on. I can’t believe it is happening, it doesn’t feel real. I am SO scared my baby is going to be snatched away from me again so suddenly like last time, I am filled with anxiety but I have to keep going.

I wanted to write this because this forum saved me and sometimes hope is what you need. You are not alone.

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3155
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: Hope

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear CJx,
Congratulations on your pregnancy and thank you for taking the time to write this post and for being so open, brave and honest. It will absolutely give hope to so many.
Wishing you an uneventful pregnancy and enjoy those first cuddles.
Sending much love and warm hugs,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
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Talon23
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Jul 16, 2021 1:06 am

Re: Hope

Post by Talon23 »

Congratulations!
Thank you so much for sharing your story!! I am so happy for you. I needed this hope. This forum has helped me so much during a time of feeling alone. I’m about two months post ectopic/methotrexate and have been struggling. I recently attended a baby shower and baby announcements have been everywhere. It’s so hard during this time. I can’t wait to be able to write about my rainbow baby soon ❤️🌈

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