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How do you deal with this all

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Kcaudery
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Oct 10, 2021 9:33 pm

How do you deal with this all

Post by Kcaudery »

Don’t really know where to start with all my feelings and thoughts but just need to write it all down.

Jan 20th 2021 found I was pregnant, excited as it took us 16 months of trying.
On the 27th I started spotting, tired to call GPs whom with their stupid COVID rules didn’t want to see me, just asking if I felt pain on the call.
29th it got slightly heavier so I took myself to A&E, spent day there getting checked out. I had a ectopic pregnancy in my right tube, but they suspected it manage itself so I repeatedly went in every two days for 3weeks.
I had the emotional turn oil of all that, and then was called by the midwife at the GPs a week later (as apparently she didn’t check the notes prior to cal to see I had ‘lost it’ and sent letters for my scans. Which I had to explain all of them and cancel the scans myself.

Roll forward October 2nd, finally we caught again pregnant. So excited, but so scare of be a repeat. I loaded an online contact request with the doctors, as I wanted to be checked or get referred. I then called them bit later that day, as I started spotting and felt something was right. No call back, no contact that day despite being told I would be called.. So I took myself again to A&E, on 6th, transferred to early pregnancy to be checked. They confirmed this time I had another ectopic but in my left side. They took bloods and asked me to come back to them on the Friday for more bloods. During this time I still had no contact from the GPs. I return to early pregnancy clinic Friday have bloods and get a call back at 2pm for a scan. I get admitted as baby is growing, bloods have risen dramatically.
Sat, I had surgery, it had ruptured Iv lost my left tube.

I still had no call from my GP surgery so iv called them this morning to log a complaint.

Iv also had to log a complaint against the ward sister from my discharging on Sunday night, as she wanted to discharge me with out pain relief or the antibiotics even tho the consultant stated on my notes they was required. As apparently it was my job as patient to get them.

I had to do this all alone, as they wouldn’t let my partner in with me, I had to tell him each time I was going though this.
And then to have the GPs and hospital ward nurse be so disrespectful I don’t know where to turn.
And honestly though it all not one person as even care to ask how I’m feeling and a I want to do is scream and cry

Sorry for my rant/overload

Han4
Posts: 8
Joined: Thu Sep 23, 2021 1:21 pm

Re: How do you deal with this all

Post by Han4 »

Hello,

So sorry to hear of all you've been through. It seems like "Covid" has been as excuse to treat some of us ectopic ladies with a little less care. I'm 4 weeks post op, burst ectopic and left tube removal. I would go forwards with your complaints. I also wasn't allowed my partner in the hospital which made the process a million more times harder and the staff should of realised that and had a duty of care to be a little more supportive no matter how busy they were. After I left hospital I was clearly informed that next time I get pregnant its very important to go for an early scan and that I will receive the support from EPU so I can be monitored from the very beginning, and its very sad that this didn't happen in your case. I hope you get the recognition and apology for the lack of care you received, try to stay strong, xx

EPT Host 20
Posts: 3142
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 10:58 pm

Re: How do you deal with this all

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear Kcaudery,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancies and losses. To experience one loss is difficult, to deal with multiple losses is heartbreaking and my heart truly goes out to you.
You have been through a huge amount in such a short space of time and it is very normal to feel overwhelmed. From your words, I can imagine how frightening the experience must have been, especially to go through it alone, and I am sorry you have had to go though this.

I am sorry you feel let down by the medical staff and I hope you get some answers from.your complaints. Coming to terms with what has happened will take time. You are still in the early weeks of recovery and are physically and emotionally needing to heal. When we experience ectopic pregnancy we are suddenly faced with a life threatening emergency and it's treatment, reduction in fertility, concerns about the future and the loss of our babies. Experiencing any one of these is an ordeal, putting them together is immense and your feelings are completely normal.
Be kind to yourself and allow time to grieve, to heal both physically and emotionally.
We will be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love,
Karen x

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