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Tips for recovery

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HeatherA
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 9:52 pm

Tips for recovery

Post by HeatherA »

Hi all,
I am new to these pages having had emergency surgery 5 days ago (left-sided rupture, lost tube, all quite urgent). The haze is starting to lift slightly but I am staring at many weeks off work/out of routine to recover.

My question is a simple one...what actually helped you in those early days?

All I have at the moment is half-formed ideas that I 'must rest' and 'take care of myself' but what does that actually look like in reality? Is there anything you regret doing,or if you could go back in time (not that anyone would want to re-live this) what would you tell yourself to do in these early days?

I don't know where to start.

Thanks for your help.

Carlene1987
Posts: 12
Joined: Sat Jan 11, 2020 7:11 pm

Re: Tips for recovery

Post by Carlene1987 »

Hi there,
I'm coming up to 4 weeks post op now and am only just beginning to deal with the emotionally element of what weve been through. I spent the first two weeks focusing entirely on getting over the operation, I didnt acknowledge the loss of my right tube or baby. My advice is cry when you need to cry and dont tell yourself you'll deal with this or that element later (like I did). I had to get signed off of work for longer as i had the strength to realise i wasnt ok. Make sure you give yourself time to mourn and cry should you need to. I also found that the EPT 1000 challenge has helped. It got me out the house walking which really helped. I'm hoping to start running soon too. Theres no time limit on dealing with a loss.
I hope this helps.

EPT Host 20
Posts: 1592
Joined: Thu May 31, 2012 9:58 pm

Re: Tips for recovery

Post by EPT Host 20 »

Dear HeatherA,
I am so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss,
I would definitely say to myself to rest more, I went back to work pretty quickly. I would also tell myself to be more open to my partner about how I was feeling and I would have liked to have spent more time as a couple, even if it was just going for a very gentle walk or watching a film on the sofa.
Be honest and open about how you are feeling and embrace your emotions. If you need to cry, do. Our you need to spend time by yourself, do.
Do whatever helps you.

There is no time frame for how long it takes us to heal emotionally and it is completely normal to feel anxious about the future. We will never forget our pregnancy or babies but we can learn to accept what has happened and crucially understand that it wasn't our fault.

We will of course be here for you for as long as you need,
Sending much love,
Karen x

The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811

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Meggers44
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Dec 31, 2019 5:28 am

Re: Tips for recovery

Post by Meggers44 »

Try to stay on a schedule as much as possible. Sleep schedules help you not to get overtired and emotional. Melotonian helped a lot on nights that I can't sleep.

Being open and talking to my partner and friends who have gone through miscarriages helped me feel less alone.

I'm two months post op. I had a lot of stress about going back to work, but the reality is that no one asks for details. Everyone is just happy that you are back and asks if you are feeling better. Also if you wear makeup and look great no one questions it.

Playing video games, reading books and doing mindless activities was just nice for me sometimes. Cry when you need to, but don't feel guilt for relaxing and being mindless as your body needs to heal.

Emotions will hit you later. It's normal. These forums are a great place to turn. Just know you're not alone in this.

cka
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jan 01, 2020 9:35 am

Re: Tips for recovery

Post by cka »

Hi HeatherA,

Sorry you have found yourself here, you are not alone, like you I had to have urgent surgery and lost my left tube and 5.5 week pregnancy.

I will be 8 weeks post surgery tomorrow and it's been a slow process so please be kind and patient with yourself.

On a really practical level make sure you are comfortable - lots of pillows to sleep, to prop me up on the sofa and hot water bottle helped with the pain.

Once I felt able, I started going on very very slow, very very short walks, building this up really slowly which felt frustrating but just have to remember you will get there.

I did not go back to work for over 5 weeks and didn't drive for over a month. I started very gentle swimming at week 5 and still am building this up doing slightly more each time.

I got into having long baths and facemasks and reading fiction, Netflix and magazines too.

Someone on here said about trying to establish a bit of a routine - get up and do something for a bit (cook/walk/stretch) and then actively take yourself to 'rest' as in lie down in bed and I sometimes fell asleep but found this helped to differentiate this time for my body as opposed to just sitting down time.

Hope some of this helps, all the best for your recovery
cka

HeatherA
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Feb 02, 2020 9:52 pm

Re: Tips for recovery

Post by HeatherA »

Thank you all - these are really helpful.

It's nearly three weeks in now and as I am starting to heal physically, I am left with just my thoughts to focus on and I am finding that tough. On the one hand, being off work has been very isolating - but on the other, I can't bear the thought of being in a group of people right now.

Anyone have experience of talking therapies?

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