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Struggling with two ectopics
Struggling with two ectopics
Hi I’m new to this page. In 2016 I had an ectopic pregnancy. My tube was removed in surgery and in time I came to terms with what had happened. I am 29 and I have two children (7 and 10) me and my parter was not trying for a baby and got pregnant using contraception. After having pains and doing a pregnancy test I went the hospital and was given a scan. I was told the baby was in the correct place this time and to come back in a week so they could check the baby had grown. I went back a couple of days later still in pain. It was then they discovered something in my remaining tube. They was unsure if it was a cyst and told me the baby in the uterus hadn’t grown to match my HCG levels (they were doubling) after several visits with them still unsure I was told to leave it another week. I went back after a week and was told the pregnancy was never in my uterus and it was an ectopic pregnancy and the baby now had a heart beat. I was also told my tube was slowly rupturing and was taken into theatre where they removed my tube again. I am now 3 days post op and I know I haven’t given myself enough time to come to terms with anything yet but I have been trying to hold it in due to the pyshical pain it causes when I cry however yesterday and so far this morning I am so emotional I can’t stop crying. I feel like I have lost so much. I know I am lucky that I already have two children but I still can’t help but feel devastated. My partner doesn’t understand how I feel as we had discussed not wanting anymore children but losing another one and taking the choice away is really difficult for me. Is there anyone else with a similar experience?
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Re: Struggling with two ectopics
Dear Laura8,
My heart goes out to you for what you are going through. I am so very sorry you are having to experience an ectopic pregnancy and loss again. As you said, it is so very recent, and it is completely normal to being feeling the emotions you are. The loss is both a physical and emotional trauma, and each recovery is so very unique.
It's incredibly important to look after yourself right now. I know that as a mum that can be difficult. There is no right way to grieve and we each find it in our own way. Even though we may have not wanted a another child, it is hard when we see the choice is taken away from us, and it is normal to grieve the loss of that choice as well.
I found that journalling helped me to capture the range of thoughts and emotions I was having after my two ectopic pregnancies. It also helped me to organize my thoughts to share with my partner, friends and family. It can be difficult for others to how what to say or how the experience feels, if they have not been through it. It was hard for me to figure out how to share what I was feeling.
We are here for you. These boards are a safe space to share, ask questions, or to vent. They are filled with people who have been through similar experiences and journeys, and we are here for you for as long as you need.
Please take time for yourself.
With good wishes,
Michele
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If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
***********************************************************************************************
My heart goes out to you for what you are going through. I am so very sorry you are having to experience an ectopic pregnancy and loss again. As you said, it is so very recent, and it is completely normal to being feeling the emotions you are. The loss is both a physical and emotional trauma, and each recovery is so very unique.
It's incredibly important to look after yourself right now. I know that as a mum that can be difficult. There is no right way to grieve and we each find it in our own way. Even though we may have not wanted a another child, it is hard when we see the choice is taken away from us, and it is normal to grieve the loss of that choice as well.
I found that journalling helped me to capture the range of thoughts and emotions I was having after my two ectopic pregnancies. It also helped me to organize my thoughts to share with my partner, friends and family. It can be difficult for others to how what to say or how the experience feels, if they have not been through it. It was hard for me to figure out how to share what I was feeling.
We are here for you. These boards are a safe space to share, ask questions, or to vent. They are filled with people who have been through similar experiences and journeys, and we are here for you for as long as you need.
Please take time for yourself.
With good wishes,
Michele
***********************************************************************************************
If we have been able to help you, are you able to help us with a small donation or by volunteering?
Further information is available at http://www.ectopic.org.uk
Email us at ept@ectopic.org.uk.
Our helpline is 020 7733 2653 (available Monday to Friday 10am - 4pm).
Detailed medical information can be found on our website. Please remember online medical information is NO SUBSTITUTE for expert medical advice from your own health care team.
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Re: Struggling with two ectopics
Thank you for replying. I have a different partner to the one I was with for my first ectopic and my partner this time doesn’t understand like my ex partner did so I feel I’m not aloud to be upset as when I have been he just tells me I’m lucky as I have two kids already. I feel really let down by the hospital for originally saying it was a normal pregnancy. I know they make mistakes but I can’t help but feel angry towards them x
