Emotionally Grappling with Rupture

[mountain9494girl]

Hi all… My ectopic journey started in January. I was cramping in the middle of what I thought was a cycle, and simply knew something was off. I took 7 tests and all were positive, despite having a copper IUD placed. After days of blood draws, ultrasounds, exams, and an IUD removal, it was confirmed that I was having an ectopic. The doctor decided to give me an MTX shot.

I struggled with lots of bleeding, cramping, exhaustion, and nausea, but the bleeding subsided, although my hcg stayed pretty high.

Two and a half weeks after MTX and a week after I stopped bleeding, the bleeding resumed and pain worsened. I was called in for an ultrasound and then an exam, but it was concluded that the pregnancy was dissolving appropriately.

Twenty-two days after MTX, I had a rupture. I knew it had ruptured immediately. I went from feeling fine to tremendous pressure, pain, nausea, and almost passing out. It took forty minutes to even be able to move enough to get into a car and go to the hospital. After a CT scan, it was confirmed that my left fallopian tube had ruptured and I had significant internal bleeding. My blood pressure was ranging from 60/30 to 70/30, so they couldn’t give me pain medication. I was taken by helicopter to the nearest big hospital for an emergency salpingectomy. Three days later, I ended up hospitalized again with a high fever and infection.

I’m almost two weeks post-op, and I’m just struggling emotionally. My doctor said everything that happened was a one in a million chance of things going wrong. I’m trying to find my footing again, but I have so many restrictions. I just don’t feel like myself, and I’ve been so overwhelmed by the events of 2023 already.

Mostly just looking to commiserate with those who understand!

[EPT Host 22]

Hi Mountain9494girl,

I’m so sorry to hear of your ectopic pregnancy and loss. You have had a massive physical and emotional upheaval, and recovery from ectopic pregnancy will take time. Everyone's path is unique, and there is no set timeframe for emotional recovery. There are no "musts" or "shoulds" or deadlines. Grieve as you wish and cry, vent, and release your emotions as you need.

I found that the first few months were the hardest, as I didn’t fully understand why it happened to me. Slowly, the darkest clouds lifted, and I began to have some ok days and even some good days again sometimes. Recovery is not always a smooth path, however. With time though, I began to accept what had happened, and although we never forget, it is something that is a part of us that we learn to live with.

For me, I found that writing in a journal did help to process the many elements. I recalled elements of the hospital and recovery and thought about the family and friends who reached out with support. It helped me to get the words out of my head and eventually share them with my partner and close friends. This was important for me because my partner also grieved differently. He thought he would lose me and focused his attention on my well-being. I didn't see him as distraught over the pregnancy, though that was also happening. The journal helped to bring attention to all the feelings.

Your ectopic pregnancy was so recent and is still early in your recovery. Please allow yourself all the time and space you need to heal and know that you have a supportive environment here for as long as you need. We are here for you any time. These boards are a safe environment to let off steam among people who have been there and understand. Please continue to do so as often as you wish.

With good wishes,


Michele



The Ectopic Pregnancy Trust
Registered Charity Number: 1071811
The EPT is awarded the PIF TICK as a Trusted Information Creator, the UK-wide quality mark for healthcare information

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[Bis123]

Hi,

I’m so sorry this has happened to you. I haven’t had a similar experience to you in terms of your ectopic but my ectopic was also this January and it resonates with me when you say the events of 2023. The only thing to keep me going is that I tell myself to take it day by day, just get through one day and you are doing more than enough. I hope you have someone to talk to (if not I’m happy to take it offline) but allow yourself to feel all the emotions and just remember that this is just a phase of 2023 and so much more will come. This will only make you stronger even if you can’t see it yet, keep telling yourself that! Rest as much as you can

[Terri8486]

Hi

I hope you are doing ok.

have just joined this forum

I had ectopic with ruptured right tube. 3 collapses and Internal bleeding resulted in emergency surgery to remove tube 5 days ago. There was no follow up required and I have been recovering at home. Today I fainted again. No pain in stomach just pain in shoulder which dr said is normal after surgery. I was sent home from a&e as they could not find anything wrong apart from low blood count but not low enough to give me a blood transfusion. Most of today I have been overwhelmed with flutters and flushes and feeling of fainting again I just wondered if anyone has had similar symptoms.

[kristinag423]

Hi Terri, just wondering how you’re doing now. I’m 6 days past my emergency surgery and removal of fallopian tube. I’m experiencing more pain that I had been and this has me concerned.