Hi All
After 18 months of trying to get pregnant and preparing for IVF, we found out that we were pregnant on Mothers Day this year. Four days later I started bleeding and thought we had a miscarriage. Two months later my HCG was still not dropping so I was sent to the Early Pregnancy Unit and found out that it was an ectopic pregnancy. It took another month to get my HCG down to zero and we are now on a 3 month countdown to safely start trying again.
What I am struggling with though is being around others that are pregnant. I have two people at work that are due around the time I would have been and this morning saw someone else announce that they were pregnant. It took us so long to get pregnant the first time and I am petrified that its not going to happen again or it will and we will have to go through this nightmare again.
It hurts so much and I just feel this deep sadness. It feels like I will never get through what has happened and be able to think about this without feeling sad and crying. I went to see a counsellor which helped and I am in a better place than I was but today is not a good day.
Any help or reassurance would be much appreciated.
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Feeling miserable and hopeless
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Doublell718
- Posts: 5
- Joined: Wed Jul 19, 2023 6:01 pm
Re: Feeling miserable and hopeless
Hi RosieH91. You are not alone - I have the same feelings. My sister in law is three months from her due date with her second child and I went to a wedding last weekend where I was not able to drink due to Methotrexate and the only other people who were on the non alcoholic drinks were the other five, visably pregnant women. It was hard to be around them and it is hard to see those with healthy pregnancies as I am going through this loss. I think the only advise I can give and the advise I am trying to follow is stay positive and give it time. I am counting down the days to when I can start trying again, but terrified it will go wrong again. You are strong and your body is strong - look what you have already been through!
My GP gave me some advise too that I think can always help when going through a hard time. Exercise (when your GP gives you the go ahead and your body has physically healed), surround yourself with positive people and talk about things other than the ectopic experience, listen to podcasts, watch movies and keep seeing the counselor to continue to unpack and process everything. I'm going to do all of those when I finally can fly back home after this all settles (I'm currently stuck overseas as I manage my ectopic that was diagnosed while overseas). You are not alone. Stay strong!!!
My GP gave me some advise too that I think can always help when going through a hard time. Exercise (when your GP gives you the go ahead and your body has physically healed), surround yourself with positive people and talk about things other than the ectopic experience, listen to podcasts, watch movies and keep seeing the counselor to continue to unpack and process everything. I'm going to do all of those when I finally can fly back home after this all settles (I'm currently stuck overseas as I manage my ectopic that was diagnosed while overseas). You are not alone. Stay strong!!!
Re: Feeling miserable and hopeless
Thank you do much. Sorry for not replying sooner, I posted and then my mental health dropped a bit. We've started trying again and it's been a bad day knowing we're back in that cycle of trying.
I've just set up a new gym membership so going to do that and joined one of the zoom support groups.
Thank you again and hope you are home now and feeling better x
I've just set up a new gym membership so going to do that and joined one of the zoom support groups.
Thank you again and hope you are home now and feeling better x
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natashaxox
- Posts: 40
- Joined: Tue Apr 11, 2023 8:43 pm
Re: Feeling miserable and hopeless
Hi Rosie
I read your story and felt that I had to message you as I was in exactly the same position and had exactly the same feelings that you do. I had never experienced sadness like it, at the time I had my ectopic pregnancy in March, we had been trying for 2 years with no luck and my younger sister had recently announced she was pregnant. Everyone someone announced their pregnancy I felt this heart sinking feeling of jealousy and then guilt for feeling so sad.
My baby would have been due at the end of November too, and like you I was so excited for Christmas thinking it would be our first as a little family and when I started bleeding 4 days after finding out I was pregnant everything that I was looking forward to just got ripped away just like that.
I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and your feelings are completely normal. I am now pregnant again and due in March, around the same time my first ectopic pregnancy happened. I wanted to tell you this because I felt so hopeless after 2 years of trying and thinking it would never happen for us, wondering if I would ever get what I had always wanted, to me a mummy, but it has happened for me and it will happen for you too, always have hope and think positively and it will happen and everything is going to be ok even if it doesn’t feel like it now.
I am always here if you need to talk 🩷
Natasha xx
I read your story and felt that I had to message you as I was in exactly the same position and had exactly the same feelings that you do. I had never experienced sadness like it, at the time I had my ectopic pregnancy in March, we had been trying for 2 years with no luck and my younger sister had recently announced she was pregnant. Everyone someone announced their pregnancy I felt this heart sinking feeling of jealousy and then guilt for feeling so sad.
My baby would have been due at the end of November too, and like you I was so excited for Christmas thinking it would be our first as a little family and when I started bleeding 4 days after finding out I was pregnant everything that I was looking forward to just got ripped away just like that.
I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and your feelings are completely normal. I am now pregnant again and due in March, around the same time my first ectopic pregnancy happened. I wanted to tell you this because I felt so hopeless after 2 years of trying and thinking it would never happen for us, wondering if I would ever get what I had always wanted, to me a mummy, but it has happened for me and it will happen for you too, always have hope and think positively and it will happen and everything is going to be ok even if it doesn’t feel like it now.
I am always here if you need to talk 🩷
Natasha xx
