Hello
First time at posting- I have found this forum so useful and comforting over the last few weeks.
Had been TTC for over 2 1/2 years, found out we were pregnant in August however around 6-7 weeks I experienced an ectopic pregnancy resulting in a ruptured left fallopian tube which was removed during emergency surgery. To say this has been an emotional rollercoaster would be an understatement and that’s without the physical side. They were unable to do key hole surgery so underwent a laparotomy on the 8th of Sept.
Now over 4 weeks post op and I returned to work today on reduced hours. I had a really bad day yesterday which I think was probably due to the anxiety of going back to work. I think it was the right decision to get back as the routine will help- I’m such an over thinker so a lot of alone time is not always good.
Back home from work now. I found it really hard to concentrate for any period of time and difficult to maintain much info. I also have this feeling of guilt almost- will people see this as me being ok and “moved on” which I certainly haven’t and won’t ever forget the baby I carried. I don’t think I appreciated how emotionally draining the whole process is. I normally use walking/fitness class as a way of de-stressing/self care but obviously that is on the back burner just now- although I am managing small walks.
Would love to hear from anyone with similar thoughts or your experience of going to back to work. Thank you.
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Returning to work
Re: Returning to work
Hi,
I had my right tube removed in August due to a rupture. I found out early July that I was experiencing an ectopic but they couldn’t locate the baby for quite a few weeks. I came back to work about 4 weeks after this and like you I’ve been glad of the distraction. Some days and weeks are better then others but I don’t think staying off would help much more. I’ve recently turned down a role change at work as I’m looking for stability and not to put myself under pressure at the moment. I’ve been open about that with work too because it makes it easier for me.
Before I had surgery I had a dose of MTX, so we have to wait to try again until mid November. I’m hoping I will feel a bit better when we can start trying again.
I’m also doing some counselling through work. She’s helped me with my perspective on work and priorities. We have a two year old already which has a lot to manage whilst going through all of this.
I hope work feels easier soon for you but I do think getting back into routine is best for stability and also a distraction for your head. You might find in a few weeks you enjoy some days at work xx
I had my right tube removed in August due to a rupture. I found out early July that I was experiencing an ectopic but they couldn’t locate the baby for quite a few weeks. I came back to work about 4 weeks after this and like you I’ve been glad of the distraction. Some days and weeks are better then others but I don’t think staying off would help much more. I’ve recently turned down a role change at work as I’m looking for stability and not to put myself under pressure at the moment. I’ve been open about that with work too because it makes it easier for me.
Before I had surgery I had a dose of MTX, so we have to wait to try again until mid November. I’m hoping I will feel a bit better when we can start trying again.
I’m also doing some counselling through work. She’s helped me with my perspective on work and priorities. We have a two year old already which has a lot to manage whilst going through all of this.
I hope work feels easier soon for you but I do think getting back into routine is best for stability and also a distraction for your head. You might find in a few weeks you enjoy some days at work xx
Re: Returning to work
Thank you for your reply Hawth7. That must have been an extremely difficult few weeks when they were unable to locate baby.
It’s sounds like you have some good coping strategies in place. I have took a step back from some duties at work as I’m not ready to go full speed yet and they are understanding of this. Stability is definitely the key. I previously really enjoyed my work so hope I get back to that feeling at some point.
Like yourself, I have a little one at home too. He’s 3 1/2. He makes me appreciate what I have in life but equally makes me realise what I’ll miss if we are unable to have another in the future. Physical recovery is not always easy with a little one either and you have the guilt of not being able to do the normal things initially like go to the park.
I hope all goes well when you start trying again. I suspect that will bring a whole new wave of emotion again. I’m here if you need anyone to chat too xx
It’s sounds like you have some good coping strategies in place. I have took a step back from some duties at work as I’m not ready to go full speed yet and they are understanding of this. Stability is definitely the key. I previously really enjoyed my work so hope I get back to that feeling at some point.
Like yourself, I have a little one at home too. He’s 3 1/2. He makes me appreciate what I have in life but equally makes me realise what I’ll miss if we are unable to have another in the future. Physical recovery is not always easy with a little one either and you have the guilt of not being able to do the normal things initially like go to the park.
I hope all goes well when you start trying again. I suspect that will bring a whole new wave of emotion again. I’m here if you need anyone to chat too xx
Re: Returning to work
Hi Star89,
I think whilst I was still physically recovering I wasn’t feeling mentally great being back at work, you’re still coping with so much then. I agree it’s really tough recovering with a little one, and mentally I didn’t feel able to enjoy my Fridays off with him for a little while.
I got back to exercise as soon as I was able and it felt really good to get moving and have some me time.
I’ve been having quite a good week at work this week, last week was definitely not so good. So just wanted you to know you may have a positive day at work soon.
Equally here if there’s anything you want to chat about xx
I think whilst I was still physically recovering I wasn’t feeling mentally great being back at work, you’re still coping with so much then. I agree it’s really tough recovering with a little one, and mentally I didn’t feel able to enjoy my Fridays off with him for a little while.
I got back to exercise as soon as I was able and it felt really good to get moving and have some me time.
I’ve been having quite a good week at work this week, last week was definitely not so good. So just wanted you to know you may have a positive day at work soon.
Equally here if there’s anything you want to chat about xx
